Santa_Rosa

I've just ordered one of those new fangled Nike+ chip things that go in your trainers and tell your iPod how crap at running you are. Looking forward to getting amongst it when it arrives. Anyone got any experience of these things?

Have Labour lost seats to the BNP?

Yes. And it's not funny.

Whoever gets in would rather it was someone other than Labour, time for a change.

Agreed, within reason.

Or the last time all the Irish etc. were given a day off from work for St Patrick's Day.

I take your point Clarry and, of course, you're right. The old Winterval banning Christmas one is a classic. But...

...the Irish do get St Patricks day off. It's a public holiday accross all of Ireland. My ex's N.I family used to give me some right stick about it.

The fact that this kind of thing upsets people to the point of voting for fascists speaks volumes for the intellect of the people putting their ticks in the boxes.

True Mike, but a proper pasting on national TV is bound to filter down even to the pond life.

Well said Richard. Makes me feel sick to be honest. Hopefully the exposure will show these fascist idiots up enough to put people off ever voting for them again. Get them on QT I say.

... Astral Weeks.... A contender for Greatest Album Of All Time without a doubt. But he's been churning out identikit Rent-A-Van albums for about 20 years, now, the miserable old git.

I gave up after "Enlightenment" (but I should really have given up after "Inarticulate Speech").

Should have given up after Astral weeks (Van and You). And it's more like 40 years....

Not even a fan of Moondance Blandy?

Van Morrison - Cyprus Avenue

I'm the only one that voted for Van the Man?

There's only one Van the Man, and he ain't no fretboard-twiddling, Jacko-collaborating, poodle-rock ponce.

But is he a Guilty Pleasure, though?

Nah. All pleasure no guilt. Had Astral Weeks on in the car this morning. Marvellous.

Well, yes. A contender for Greatest Album Of All Time without a doubt. But he's been churning out identikit Rent-A-Van albums for about 20 years, now, the miserable old git.

I gave up after "Enlightenment" (but I should really have given up after "Inarticulate Speech").

Oh I dunno. Back On Top is a cracker. But yeah, they do all sound the same. Good job that sound is a great one innit?

I'm the only one that voted for Van the Man?

There's only one Van the Man, and he ain't no fretboard-twiddling, Jacko-collaborating, poodle-rock ponce.

But is he a Guilty Pleasure, though?

Nah. All pleasure no guilt. Had Astral Weeks on in the car this morning. Marvellous.

I'm the only one that voted for Van the Man?

There's only one Van the Man, and he ain't no fretboard-twiddling, Jacko-collaborating, poodle-rock ponce.

I can't work out whether it's a good thing for a band to have 0 in this poll or not.

Leppard for me. Hysteria is a belter. And I don't feel guilty about it.

Crisp. And orrible.

So a large number of people on this site stand to wipe their arse and sit to have a piss. Astonishing

Today because of the thread i decided to experiment with the sit down wipe. I shall not be doing that again.

Nor wearing white boxers shorts I dare say.

It seems that the standers, stand up, and then adopt a crouched postion so that everything is presented as if they were sitting down. Why bother getting up then?

easier access to buttock crevass?

when sitting, surely you have to move off the seat slighty, so you can physically get your hand up your arse to wipe your bum?

standing and then semi squatting is just a natural extension of this: it give you more room to maneouvre.

Ah, but the slight movement off the seat is only done with one buttock, avoiding the 'clamping' issue.

All sitters are therefore closet homosexuals....

All standers are closet paedoes then!

Can I be both please?

Why? Do you fancy Jeanette Kranky ?!!!

She's an old woman. Making him neither, not both.

Doesn't she dress as a young boy?

Ah yes, but then she is Jimmy. Jeanette is all woman :nod:

We just did it in the way Mummy showed us.

I guess the question should be changed then to, How many of us had mothers who didn't understand the effect on the buttocks, and anything remaining between them, when standing up?

It seems that the standers, stand up, and then adopt a crouched postion so that everything is presented as if they were sitting down. Why bother getting up then?

All sitters are therefore closet homosexuals....

All standers are closet paedoes then!

Can I be both please?

Why? Do you fancy Jeanette Kranky ?!!!

She's an old woman. Making him neither, not both.

Question to you sitters. Have any of you experienced a German toilet, i.e: one that uses "the shelf"?

When shitting into such toilets your crap falls onto a shelf mere inches from the place your arse is suspended. It is believed German's use "the shelf" to examine thier crap to ensure it is of uniform size and shape and if not they then adjust their diets accordingly to shit more efficiently.

My point being if you are a sitter and were to use the shelf the ods are pretty high that upon dropping your hand down there with the paper for a swipe you will no doubt make hard contact with the shit on the shelf. thoughts? Comments?

Yes. As an adult human I found it to be no problem to adjust my sitting technique, raising the buttocks slightly higher than normal before going in.

How can anyone sit and do it?! That really does amaze me. What happens if you get some of the brown stuff on the testes?

I'm not sure how you are anatomically, or technique wise, but as a sitter I can honestly say this has never happened to me, nor can I see how it might.

Does anyone else spit polish at the end?

Eh???

When it looks like you can wipe no more, just spit on some bog roll and have one last swoop. Youd be surprised what comes up. Its not as if its disgusting.

If you don't you end up with skid marks in the underwear!

I've become a recent exponent of this in the last year or so. What a revelation.

Seated, with one hand round the back. I have always assumed this to be the "orthodox" position and am disturbed by those of you standing.

Indeed. Bog roll is used too mind, not just the hand.

As do you Chris.

I thought you went for sinks in women's toilets though? Or is that just at work? :winkold: