The_Dogz_Danglies

Dear General,

The five year plan, by any chance was it given to you by a man named Baldrick?

Yours Most Disheartened,

Chris.

General Krulak here.

2. jackbauer24: I would imagine that if we won the League next year...or was in the top 4....that Fans would warm up to the Manager.

Dear General,

If we win the league next season I will gladly kiss Mr. Houlliers boots in front of a sold out villa park whilst dressed in only a pink tutu and ballerina costume.

Please feel free to hold me to this.

Went off at half time too. Kicking the wooden door through and giving the metal roller door a right shilacking. Couple of Noses dragged through and given a right kicking.

A view from the other side...

Well that was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be, just booked over the phone without any wait. Looks like there will be ample.

Well they've started hitting eBay already.

Damn my compact figure.

Link

General,

At the moment being a villa fan is like being on a number 11 bus, takes you were you want to go, but takes too long to get there.

And constantly goes round in a circle..

And very often fails to turn up.

If we are looking for posititves, Ciaran Clark tied a double knot in his laces really fluidly and quickly which at his age is promising.

It did take him three attempts before he got it right though as his boots came off twice.

Oh **** it.

As far as I'm concerned they can move it to anywhere apart from Thursday 14th... I'm meant to be going to the Panto.

Thouroughly proffesional performance. We got the lead relatively early in the game, never sat back and didn't over exert ourselves when we were comfortabley 2 - 0 up. Lets just hope we can bring the form back home on Saturday, with Man City facing Tottenham another three points could really see us opening up a little bit of breathing space up there.

MOTM, got to be Milner.

I needed A little respite from the hilarity of the recent press conference so I thought we'd take a trip back to 1993 and one of Karen Brady's programme columns. If ever there were a definition of small time this is it;

Link

Some of my favourite parts include;

Unashamedly washing the financial laundry in public then emotionaly blackmailing the fans trying to attend every game.

The opportunity to grass up your unwashed bluenose mates directly to Brady herself.

And finally pointing out that if your going to get scammed by a premium rate number then you may as well get scammed by their premium rate number.

Oh happy days.

Something I posted almost twelve months ago.

The_Dogz_Danglies - Sep 28, 2007 - 01:34 AM

Post subject:

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Hi General,

Being dragged, bored to tears, round the supermarket the other day I couldn't help thinking what a great untapped market this is for shifting a hell of a lot of Villa shirts. Everyone has to visit them at least once or twice a week, they're open for more hours than any other retail establishment and are a sitting duck market for "I want, Iwant" kids and bored dads. You could make it a section with other merchandise. Great for the brand awareness.

(And I'll even settle for a measley 10% cut for the idea)

Seeing that a very discerning individual at Villa Park has made this idea a reality too whom should I forward my details to in order to start receiving the monthly cheque?

P.S. Seriousley though, was the suggestion of any influence (what so ever)?

I've finally gotten around to reading the article with more sober eyes and like the entire saga it seems to have divided opinion. It's 72 hours now since the deadline and the situation stays very much the same thus making the claims that Liverpool missed the deadline by a mere 15 minutes seem very much wide of the mark.

I had intended the article to portray my admiration in the handling of the situation up until the point where we we're seemingly forced into forfeiting the deadline. It was obvious from Martins statement at the Reading game that he was extremely reluctant and somewhat embarrassed at admitting he was powerless. I would also guess that such a rapid withdrawal would have involved the agent making a legal argument to render the deadline un-imposable. The discussion of transfers (or lack of) and MONs handling of them up to this point seems to have very little relevance to this saga apart from the fact that the uncertainty will have done nothing but hinder our activity in this window.

My only criticism of the club is that they cannot afford to take such a hard line and then fold their hand so quickly afterwards. If you put your neck out like this you have to make it stick, it can only reflect negatively in the eyes of supporters and the media. I very much doubt the club will make this mistake again. The board/management have hardly put a foot wrong since they took over but despite the very good PR that they generate and the very ethical stances they take even Randy/Lerner/O’Neill are not beyond being made to look a little foolish by the more unscrupulous elements of the game - hence "not all our futures will be so bright". Had the deadline stuck they would have been heroes in all of our eyes, in future I believe they will take a more cautious and quiet approach which is a sad conclusion in itself.

It is a testament to the fact that in the modern game the player and their agent are now king, they hold all the chips and know all the cards.

"It does appear that in all respects that we talk a very good game." - In retrospect that was a little far and was typed through beer filled fingers.

P.S. Cheers for posting my first article BOF.

Better still...

15M + Finnan and a 1M donation to acorns.

No.

Flog him to Arsenal to for 15M just to spite the spanish b£$%^"%d.

Good afternoon General,

I bought three season tickets last year for myself and two friends. Now as you know people are unreliable, fickle and unpredictable, especially these two. So to save getting everyone together every few days I tend to do the monkey work. I.e. standing in queues, buying the tickets etc. Unfortunately each time I try and make alterations such as relocating the seats, getting paper copies of tickets, changing ownership of the ST etc. I have to get a signed statement from each ST holder, even though the seats were bought on my card and are registered to my address. As it's impractical to drive round getting signatures each time I just end up faking the letters which are always just accepted as wrote. (If I'd have given the name Mickey Mouse as one of the pair when I bought the tickets I'd have spent the last 12 months faking Mickey’s signature).

Would it be possible to introduce a scheme where season tickets could be grouped together with one or more being nominated as executors with the ability to make alterations? I would imagine something similar must exist between the adult/child tickets.

Sorry for the length of the rant but at least it's not transfer related.

P.S. Is it safe for me to get Henry printed on my shirt yet?

Kind Regards

Dogz.

We have to get that printed on T-shirts.

...and hopefully bring more attention to your Club.

Our Club General. I'm afraid you're part of the fixtures and fittings now.

Unfortunately so General... it's the curse of the mild insomniac.

Dear General,

A Little token of appreciation to the Americans who came and restored pride in our beloved football club. Hope you like it.

A larger version and a couple of the team, present and past, can be found by following the links below.

American Gothic

Creation of Adam

The Last Supper

If it's in any way possible for you to forward "The Creation of Adam" to Olaf I would be very much indebted as I am sure he would appreciate the sentiment portrayed if not the less than ample "tackle" - Michelangelo's fault not mine.

All the best for the future, CK.

Not related but they are the same species "Smugius Twatius".

Shock news! New blues manager just announced...

Please... Please... Please... Please...

Good Evening General,

There's is currently a lot of discussion on the topic of improvements to the ground, be it the Holte End, North Stand or the achievement of the magical five star rating. A subject that also seems to be high on the boards agenda also.

Have the board seriousley researched the re-introduction of safe standing terraces to villa park?

i/. They would be an extremely effective way of raising the ground capacity.

ii/. They would prove that we are at the cutting edge of modern football stadia design being the first major club to introduce this.

iii/. They show a great respect for our proud history.

iv/. They would raise the atmosphere in the ground.

v/. They would offer a cheap ticket option, bringing football back to the masses.

Borussia Dortmund and Werder Bremen both operate safe standing areas In-fact 10% of Bundersliga tickets must be standing, Dortmund have 16,000 in a 61,000 seat stadium which hosted games in last years world cup. Many can re-seat these areas at a moments notice to comply with varying international regulations. Neither have any reports of accidents.

Is it an option that Aston Villa would consider merits further research?

Edited Ref: Stephen_Evans Response

Stephen does seem to be spot on with the conclusion that at the moment it would be deemed illegal, however a comprehensive report released this year by the Foootball Supporters Federation Report Here has gained the backing of several senior MPs' including Kate Hoey (former minister for sport) and parliment has admitted willingness to look at this issue if it gains enough momentum. It does appear to be a matter of time and something for the club to get behind perhaps.

I'm much obliged to you both, General and MysteryMan. Villa fans do not know how spoiled they are.

Enjoyed the spectacle that was Villa V Bolton in the new Holte Pub & I must say you've done a wonderful job renovating a building that very much symbolises our recent resurgence. However I get the feeling that the screening of games wasn't at the forefront of people’s minds. Everybody near the front of the room left with a crick in their necks from craning their heads to watch the relatively small TV's (They do look bigger when they're in Dixon’s).

A couple of daylight projectors / screens would be such a vast improvement at such a small cost. The projectors would be unobtrusive and the screens would retract when not in use so as not to spoil the look.

P.S. I hate being picky.