Things that piss you off that shouldn't

[Davkaus]

29 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Oh, snap. Our daughters totally fail to appreciate what a deal they are getting out of us, compared to what it cost us back in the day. 

Still, housing crisis, gold plated pensions, and climate catastrophe. Shall we call it a draw?  

I'm sure the little uns would much rather be spending their time with their grandparents than some hired help though, good on you  

Edited September 8, 2021 by Davkaus

[El Zen]

One of the things I appreciate most about living in Norway is state subsidised, quality childcare. £300/month, qualified staff, meals provided.

It’s brilliant. Not just for my wallet, not just for the kids, but as far as gender equality policy goes, it’s unbeatable. 

Anyway, yeah, kids’ stuff is ridiculously overpriced and you should definetely get as much second hand as you possibly can. 

Edited September 8, 2021 by El Zen

[lapal_fan]

31 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

We're talking about her mom potentially retiring and us (and her sister who has just had a baby) paying the mom to do childcare.

I laughed it off at first thinking there's no way she'd do it because we'd be nowhere near her wage with what we give her. But actually I think if we matched her wage between us we'd be making a massive saving on what we'd have to pay for childcare individually

You do know that childcare isn't literally your kid sitting in a room with a carer making sure they don't just keel over and die, don't you?

Nurseries now essentially teach children and get them to the level they need to be at to start school.

What I'd say (and do) is a mix of grandparents (if you're lucky enough to have that option) and nursery. 

My eldest loved his nursery and my second one is less keen (lock-down toddler, they don't like new people), but is still enjoying it once I've dropped off.

We do 3 days a week and it costs £800, but I wouldn't want grandparents doing it 100% of the time.  My mom used to be a teaching assistant, but even still, they need to be around other babies to learn social stuff.

It's really key, I'd say. 

Also, have a look at NCT sales - they sell EVERYTHING for babies/toddlers at unbelievable prices.  You can save hundreds and hundreds of pounds by going to them.

I'm being serious when I say that newborn clothes (my 2 were born too large for them!) will be worn about twice before they're out of them.  The first 2 years, the average clothes usage is about 4/5 times.  Go to NCT, get designer gear for MASSIVELY cheap prices.  PLUS - you're giving money to charity, so you can feel good about that too. 

Edited September 8, 2021 by lapal_fan

[mjmooney]

31 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

Still, housing crisis, gold plated pensions, and climate catastrophe. Shall we call it a draw?  

I'm sure the little uns would much rather be spending their time with their grandparents than some hired help though, good on you  

Yep, agree with all that. 

[mjmooney]

16 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

Nurseries now essentially teach children and get them to the level they need to be at to start school.

What I'd say (and do) is a mix of grandparents (if you're lucky enough to have that option) and nursery. 

My eldest loved his nursery and my second one is less keen (lock-down toddler, they don't like new people), but is still enjoying it once I've dropped off.

We do 3 days a week and it costs £800, but I wouldn't want grandparents doing it 100% of the time.  My mom used to be a teaching assistant, but even still, they need to be around other babies to learn social stuff.

It's really key, I'd say. 

Absolutely. We do three days a week (which is maybe a day too much for us, tbh) and they go to - and enjoy - nursery on the other two days. 

[Stevo985]

23 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

You do know that childcare isn't literally your kid sitting in a room with a carer making sure they don't just keel over and die, don't you?

Nurseries now essentially teach children and get them to the level they need to be at to start school.

What I'd say (and do) is a mix of grandparents (if you're lucky enough to have that option) and nursery. 

My eldest loved his nursery and my second one is less keen (lock-down toddler, they don't like new people), but is still enjoying it once I've dropped off.

We do 3 days a week and it costs £800, but I wouldn't want grandparents doing it 100% of the time.  My mom used to be a teaching assistant, but even still, they need to be around other babies to learn social stuff.

It's really key, I'd say. 

I'm not talking about nursery, I'm talking about when the kid is like 1

[lapal_fan]

3 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

I'm not talking about nursery, I'm talking about when the kid is like 1

My first was in nursery from 5.5 months (too early), my second went in a nearly 12 months. 

Mom not having maternity leave for 9-12 months? 

[El Zen]

10 months fully paid parental leave (or 12 months at 80 per cent) is another thing I f***ing love about Norway. 

Most kids here start nursery as soon as the 10/12 months are up. 

[tonyh29]

1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

I know this isn't new news for people who care about kids, but for someone who has been very anti kids for their whole life so has never even considered these things, and is now having to prepare for having one (I'm excited, honest!)... JESUS **** CHRIST it's expensive!

We need a baby bouncer. One of them little chairs that bounce up and down a bit. Oh cool how much is that, 20 quid?

180 quid?! For WHAT?!

Childcare, £1200 a month? WHAT?! what the ****?! 

RIP my disposable income

wait .. what  .. when did i miss this  .. well congratulations of course , you'll love it  , honestly you will 

but  ,one way to fund baby stuff would be to eat real sausages again for £2 a packet instead of eating crap tasting plant based sausages that they charge you £5 a packet for  .. you're welcome   

 

[Stevo985]

16 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

My first was in nursery from 5.5 months (too early), my second went in a nearly 12 months. 

Mom not having maternity leave for 9-12 months? 

Nursery from 12 months? **** me, they're needy aren't they.

Might just pop them in a kennel

[tonyh29]

1 hour ago, Genie said:

Obviously this meme is a joke, but there’s a lot of truth in it. 
Everyone falls into the same trap.

Its not because you love the second child any less, you just realise how much money you wasted on the first on things that just didn’t matter.

Ha  

I remember walking around behind baby number 1 ready to catch him as he wobbled during early walking , watching Tv with one eye on them in case they toppled off the chair   

by baby 2 it was a case of , long as you catch them on the first bounce they will be OK 

[Stevo985]

4 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

wait .. what  .. when did i miss this  .. well congratulations of course , you'll love it  , honestly you will 

but  ,one way to fund baby stuff would be to eat real sausages again for £2 a packet instead of eating crap tasting plant based sausages that they charge you £5 a packet for  .. you're welcome   

 

I've already done the worst possible thing I could do for the environment and produced a new human being so I need to counter that with continuing my veggie-ness  

[mjmooney]

14 minutes ago, El Zen said:

10 months fully paid parental leave (or 12 months at 80 per cent) is another thing I f***ing love about Norway. 

Most kids here start nursery as soon as the 10/12 months are up. 

The way it should be everywhere. 

[bickster]

I'm not a fan of people knocking on my door selling shit

A bloke just knocked on the door and mumbled something about being in the area and cleaning moss from driveways and was about to thrust a leaflet into my hand

"Stop! - can you see any f***ing moss on my drive?" (It was only laid last year and is regularly pressure washed- not even the remotest hint of moss)

*slams door*

Throbber

[Genie]

When my children were nursery age there was 16 hours of free childcare available per week. Not sure if that’s still a thing. Worth looking into, and then at nursery’s that accept it.

 

[BOF]

2 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

I know this isn't new news for people who care about kids, but for someone who has been very anti kids for their whole life so has never even considered these things, and is now having to prepare for having one (I'm excited, honest!)... JESUS **** CHRIST it's expensive!

We need a baby bouncer. One of them little chairs that bounce up and down a bit. Oh cool how much is that, 20 quid?

180 quid?! For WHAT?!

Childcare, £1200 a month? WHAT?! what the ****?! 

RIP my disposable income

Well I guess congratulations are in order  

[bobzy]

1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

I'm not talking about nursery, I'm talking about when the kid is like 1

Both of mine went to nursery after parental leave (Mum took 9 months, I took the remaining 3 both times) ended.

To be honest, it's the best option.  They're learning constantly at nursery - including the social side of interacting with other babies - and have dedicated support from key workers etc.  It's basically school from the age of 1.

 

On the whole expense thing, just to echo what everyone else has said.  I'd probably buy a brand new car seat (safety is important, eh?) and there may be other bits which you want to have brand new, but just get second hand everything.  There will be newborn clothing for sale/giveaway essentially everywhere.  With both my girls, we bought one sleepsuit for them to 'come home' in and basically every other item of clothing were hand-me-downs.  But then a lot may depend on what your situation is and how you see the following years panning out.  If you think you'll have more children (sounds like you won't ) then it might be worth buying some new things now that you can reuse for child #2.

[bickster]

2 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

I know this isn't new news for people who care about kids, but for someone who has been very anti kids for their whole life so has never even considered these things, and is now having to prepare for having one (I'm excited, honest!)... JESUS **** CHRIST it's expensive!

We need a baby bouncer. One of them little chairs that bounce up and down a bit. Oh cool how much is that, 20 quid?

180 quid?! For WHAT?!

Childcare, £1200 a month? WHAT?! what the ****?! 

RIP my disposable income

TIP: Don't know it they still sell the ones that attach to the top of the doorframe but if they do, don't buy one or you'll need to factor in a plasterer to repair the wall eventually

[AlwaysAVFC]

2 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

Oh don't worry, I'm not proud at all. I'd happily do it on a budget.

Unfortunately, given the circumstances, I don't have much of a say these days  

As echoed by others, Facebook groups etc have most you need at a fraction of the price and you can usually get the same back what you paid by re selling when done. 

Mrs was pretty good at doing all that and your circumstances are different but buying everything new you'll spend a shed load on some things that could barely be used, if at all. Especially with a first child as there's the tendency to want to buy anything that you think will help their development when in actual fact some things really aren't all that and some the child won't show much interest in. 

 

[mjmooney]

2 minutes ago, AlwaysAVFC said:

in actual fact some things really aren't all that and some the child won't show much interest in. 

Rule 1:  Any toy that comes in a cardboard box will be immediately discarded in favour of playing with the box.