Things that piss you off that shouldn't

[rjw63]

Just now, Big Salad said:

Are turtlenecks ready for a comeback or do I need to just go ahead and burn them now?

Is that a euphemism?

[Seat68]

56 minutes ago, Big Salad said:

Are turtlenecks ready for a comeback or do I need to just go ahead and burn them now?

Is the turtleneck like prairie dogging?

[sidcow]

1 hour ago, Davkaus said:

At my gym, there are two types of showers. Private ones, and ones that are identical except that they inexplicably lack a door.

So anyway, I just saw the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life, and it's ruined my afternoon.

I bet he's never used the shower with the doors has he. 

 

[lapal_fan]

1 hour ago, sidcow said:

I bet he's never used the shower with the doors has he. 

 

It was a mirror

[Mark Albrighton]

Baggy jeans making a comeback can **** right off. I’ve bought about 7 or 8 pairs of slim fit jeans over the past 18 months and relegated all my loose fitting jeans to wear when decorating and the like. 

No, this is simply not allowed to happen. I let the Olly Murs top shirt button done up without a tie look slide without too much protest, but this is unacceptable.

[foreveryoung]

Gareth Southgate's Psychobabble Bull**** is starting to get on my tits. Talk properly about football and the players you knobber!! It's just like he's trying to be too smart now, dull tone and talking boll****s.

[rjw63]

10 minutes ago, foreveryoung said:

Gareth Southgate's Psychobabble Bull**** is starting to get on my tits. Talk properly about football and the players you knobber!! It's just like he's trying to be too smart now, dull tone and talking boll****s.

Wait til you see him make Gresford a permanent starter...

[fightoffyour]

People who stand on escalators, particularly moving down. You can walk, so why do you stop when you get on the escalator? Gravity is pulling you in the direction you want to go, just step forwards for **** sake. What do these people do at home, stand there and wait for someone to carry them down the stairs? MOVE.

[villa4europe]

10 hours ago, fightoffyour said:

People who stand on escalators, particularly moving down. You can walk, so why do you stop when you get on the escalator? Gravity is pulling you in the direction you want to go, just step forwards for **** sake. What do these people do at home, stand there and wait for someone to carry them down the stairs? MOVE.

Honest... Sometimes on an escalator I just enjoy slowing myself down for 30 seconds... Maybe a bit of laziness but more that my walking pace is fast and if I'm say bombing it in to town and then around town sometimes I just like the escalator being slow and a bit more relaxing 

[Chindie]

17 hours ago, Davkaus said:

At my gym, there are two types of showers. Private ones, and ones that are identical except that they inexplicably lack a door.

So anyway, I just saw the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life, and it's ruined my afternoon.

This reminds me of something.

Just before lockdown started last year I was in New Street, headed home. I'd worked late so it was fairly quiet. 

Walking to the escalator down to the platform I was greeted by a sight I genuinely can't forget. Striding towards me was a huge man. A huge man. I am 6ft1, and stockily built, I'm not little, and even someone much taller than me doesn't loom above me. But this guy. This guy was intimidating. He was **** massive, must have been at 7ft tall minimum.

But that wasn't all. The guy was a **** specimen. It was like an encyclopedia had pulled into platform 10 and the prototype perfect human had strode off the page into New Street. He was wearing some kind of super thin stretch fabric top about 12 sizes too small so you could see that he was 7ft of pure cut muscle. The kind of definition of each muscle was probably only bettered with marble and a chisel. As a result the guy cut a figure that could only be more intimidating is he was wearing a hockey mask and carrying a machete.

Or so I thought. Because as he got closer, I noticed something else. The guy was wearing that super thin tight because it's toddler sized fabric in the form of trousers too. And then I was accosted. With each gigantic stride I became aware that this guy seemed to have a bunch of bananas swinging between his thighs. It was obscene. And not just because this guy was packing a howitzer to the average man's pistol. His outfit was so tight he may as well have been nude. That realisation that this bloke was pure cut muscle? Well the same could be realised in his trousers. Much tighter and you could have seen the outline of his pubes. And he was so tall it felt like this wrecking ball of a todger was swinging right for my face. Luckily he strode off at the platform just before it swung and broke a rib or something.

I carried on, a broken man at the sight of such mammoth entity. I went for a piss and realised the guy was so built because otherwise he'd need a crane to use the urinals. I zipped up, washed my hands in quiet shock, and realised once more that life was very unfair.

[Genie]

12 minutes ago, Chindie said:

This reminds me of something.

Just before lockdown started last year I was in New Street, headed home. I'd worked late so it was fairly quiet. 

Walking to the escalator down to the platform I was greeted by a sight I genuinely can't forget. Striding towards me was a huge man. A huge man. I am 6ft1, and stockily built, I'm not little, and even someone much taller than me doesn't loom above me. But this guy. This guy was intimidating. He was **** massive, must have been at 7ft tall minimum.

But that wasn't all. The guy was a **** specimen. It was like an encyclopedia had pulled into platform 10 and the prototype perfect human had strode off the page into New Street. He was wearing some kind of super thin stretch fabric top about 12 sizes too small so you could see that he was 7ft of pure cut muscle. The kind of definition of each muscle was probably only bettered with marble and a chisel. As a result the guy cut a figure that could only be more intimidating is he was wearing a hockey mask and carrying a machete.

Or so I thought. Because as he got closer, I noticed something else. The guy was wearing that super thin tight because it's toddler sized fabric in the form of trousers too. And then I was accosted. With each gigantic stride I became aware that this guy seemed to have a bunch of bananas swinging between his thighs. It was obscene. And not just because this guy was packing a howitzer to the average man's pistol. His outfit was so tight he may as well have been nude. That realisation that this bloke was pure cut muscle? Well the same could be realised in his trousers. Much tighter and you could have seen the outline of his pubes. And he was so tall it felt like this wrecking ball of a todger was swinging right for my face. Luckily he strode off at the platform just before it swung and broke a rib or something.

I carried on, a broken man at the sight of such mammoth entity. I went for a piss and realised the guy was so built because otherwise he'd need a crane to use the urinals. I zipped up, washed my hands in quiet shock, and realised once more that life was very unfair.

Tbh, if he was genuinely HUGE down there most women (or men) would not enjoy being on the receiving end.

You could comfort yourself with that knowledge  

[Seat68]

31 minutes ago, Genie said:

Tbh, if he was genuinely HUGE down there most women (or men) would not enjoy being on the receiving end.

You could comfort yourself with that knowledge  

We tell ourselves this. 

[lapal_fan]

51 minutes ago, Chindie said:

This reminds me of something.

Just before lockdown started last year I was in New Street, headed home. I'd worked late so it was fairly quiet. 

Walking to the escalator down to the platform I was greeted by a sight I genuinely can't forget. Striding towards me was a huge man. A huge man. I am 6ft1, and stockily built, I'm not little, and even someone much taller than me doesn't loom above me. But this guy. This guy was intimidating. He was **** massive, must have been at 7ft tall minimum.

But that wasn't all. The guy was a **** specimen. It was like an encyclopedia had pulled into platform 10 and the prototype perfect human had strode off the page into New Street. He was wearing some kind of super thin stretch fabric top about 12 sizes too small so you could see that he was 7ft of pure cut muscle. The kind of definition of each muscle was probably only bettered with marble and a chisel. As a result the guy cut a figure that could only be more intimidating is he was wearing a hockey mask and carrying a machete.

Or so I thought. Because as he got closer, I noticed something else. The guy was wearing that super thin tight because it's toddler sized fabric in the form of trousers too. And then I was accosted. With each gigantic stride I became aware that this guy seemed to have a bunch of bananas swinging between his thighs. It was obscene. And not just because this guy was packing a howitzer to the average man's pistol. His outfit was so tight he may as well have been nude. That realisation that this bloke was pure cut muscle? Well the same could be realised in his trousers. Much tighter and you could have seen the outline of his pubes. And he was so tall it felt like this wrecking ball of a todger was swinging right for my face. Luckily he strode off at the platform just before it swung and broke a rib or something.

I carried on, a broken man at the sight of such mammoth entity. I went for a piss and realised the guy was so built because otherwise he'd need a crane to use the urinals. I zipped up, washed my hands in quiet shock, and realised once more that life was very unfair.

You should have stopped me and had a chat   

[Stevo985]

10 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

You should have stopped me and had a chat   

I always knew you were jewish

[Stevo985]

13 hours ago, fightoffyour said:

People who stand on escalators, particularly moving down. You can walk, so why do you stop when you get on the escalator? Gravity is pulling you in the direction you want to go, just step forwards for **** sake. What do these people do at home, stand there and wait for someone to carry them down the stairs? MOVE.

On a sort of related note, the number of people who go to my gym who use the lift.

The entrance is on the grounds floor but the gym is two floors up. I'm not sure it's even two full floors, but it's a couple of sets of stairs.

The amount of people who wait for the one lift to get up there is mental. You're literally going to the gym!

It's not quicker either. In fact it's significantly slower

[bobzy]

22 hours ago, El Zen said:

My current favourite jeans are Levi’s 562s.

Black 512's every single time.

[villa4europe]

36 minutes ago, bobzy said:

Black 512's every single time.

My blacks ones are line 8 511s super skinny 

Just got a new pair of 512s blue ones from an outlet village on the cheap, perfect fit

Problem with the super skinny sprayed on jeans is that in the summer they look good with a pair of espadrilles despite being too hot to wear them but then in the winter I'm struggling to find some good trainers to go with them, the black ones are OK cos I wear them to work with Chelsea boots 

[sidcow]

1 hour ago, villa4europe said:

My blacks ones are line 8 511s super skinny 

Just got a new pair of 512s blue ones from an outlet village on the cheap, perfect fit

Problem with the super skinny sprayed on jeans is that in the summer they look good with a pair of espadrilles despite being too hot to wear them but then in the winter I'm struggling to find some good trainers to go with them, the black ones are OK cos I wear them to work with Chelsea boots 

Has this turned into mumsnet? 

[villa4europe]

4 minutes ago, sidcow said:

Has this turned into mumsnet? 

no, im banned from that place

[HanoiVillan]

5 hours ago, Chindie said:

This reminds me of something.

Just before lockdown started last year I was in New Street, headed home. I'd worked late so it was fairly quiet. 

Walking to the escalator down to the platform I was greeted by a sight I genuinely can't forget. Striding towards me was a huge man. A huge man. I am 6ft1, and stockily built, I'm not little, and even someone much taller than me doesn't loom above me. But this guy. This guy was intimidating. He was **** massive, must have been at 7ft tall minimum.

But that wasn't all. The guy was a **** specimen. It was like an encyclopedia had pulled into platform 10 and the prototype perfect human had strode off the page into New Street. He was wearing some kind of super thin stretch fabric top about 12 sizes too small so you could see that he was 7ft of pure cut muscle. The kind of definition of each muscle was probably only bettered with marble and a chisel. As a result the guy cut a figure that could only be more intimidating is he was wearing a hockey mask and carrying a machete.

Or so I thought. Because as he got closer, I noticed something else. The guy was wearing that super thin tight because it's toddler sized fabric in the form of trousers too. And then I was accosted. With each gigantic stride I became aware that this guy seemed to have a bunch of bananas swinging between his thighs. It was obscene. And not just because this guy was packing a howitzer to the average man's pistol. His outfit was so tight he may as well have been nude. That realisation that this bloke was pure cut muscle? Well the same could be realised in his trousers. Much tighter and you could have seen the outline of his pubes. And he was so tall it felt like this wrecking ball of a todger was swinging right for my face. Luckily he strode off at the platform just before it swung and broke a rib or something.

I carried on, a broken man at the sight of such mammoth entity. I went for a piss and realised the guy was so built because otherwise he'd need a crane to use the urinals. I zipped up, washed my hands in quiet shock, and realised once more that life was very unfair.