Chindie Posted November 12, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted November 12, 2019 9 minutes ago, BOF said: Brilliant. "The older gentlemen with their nieces on the other tables" "My lips purse, like a cat’s arse that’s brushed against nettles." may be one of the best lines ever written, so perfectly does it describe and evoke a feeling with absolute derision. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted November 12, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted November 12, 2019 30 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: I've always thought if I ever start balding I'll just buy a pair of clippers and take it all off. Nobody notices or cares about a bloke having no hair, but everyone spots a bloke clinging on to hair. A former colleague was sadly afflicted with this. He had gone bald, but hadn't accepted it, so went for the classic comb over. Except he'd lost so much hair, and what was left was so feeble, that he was literally combing over a dozen hairs maybe. At a distance you couldn't really tell, but up close you could see the sad whips of hair underlining the baldness that was across his entire head. The comb over was more of a mangy coat for a third of his left temple, or a shit dazzler for his ear. Eventually he just embraced the baldness and was better for it. That or he hadn't noticed the decrepit last stand of hair was gone and he was left combing over pure air, as opposed to pure air with a garnish of hair. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 44 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said: At 33, I'm finally having to have 'the conversation' with myself about what to do about my hair. I have the cranium-shape of Jean-Luc Picard and the baldness pattern of Slaven Bilic, and I'm completely lost as to what the hell to do to grow old with the tiniest bit of dignity. Bite the bullet and shave it all off! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 12, 2019 Moderator Share Posted November 12, 2019 48 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said: At 33, I'm finally having to have 'the conversation' with myself about what to do about my hair. I have the cranium-shape of Jean-Luc Picard and the baldness pattern of Slaven Bilic, and I'm completely lost as to what the hell to do to grow old with the tiniest bit of dignity. Grow beard, cut beard add superglue 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 52 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said: At 33, I'm finally having to have 'the conversation' with myself about what to do about my hair. I have the cranium-shape of Jean-Luc Picard and the baldness pattern of Slaven Bilic, and I'm completely lost as to what the hell to do to grow old with the tiniest bit of dignity. I'm getting that way a bit too. I reckon I'll eventually just shave it, keep my beard long and wear my glasses more which seems to distract attention away from the top of your head. In fact it might be quite liberating to just get it over with but yeah, it'll need doing regularly which is a pain in the arse. I have a job where I have to wear a hat anyway. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bannedfromHandV Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 53 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said: At 33, I'm finally having to have 'the conversation' with myself about what to do about my hair. I have the cranium-shape of Jean-Luc Picard and the baldness pattern of Slaven Bilic, and I'm completely lost as to what the hell to do to grow old with the tiniest bit of dignity. Aww man I'm with you, I've actually gone bald on top but using side hair to comb over, not that it prevents the hideousness of it all. I'm 36, when I was 22 I had hair that reached down to the middle of my back - actually used to play football wearing an 'alice-band' (a la Beckham), Sunday League in Stoke-on-Trent so you can imagine how that went down - anyway, it was glorious. I always knew I would go bald, the warning signs were there with the receding hair line but nothing has prepared me for it, I kind of make a joke of it but actually it really gets to me, every time I look in the mirror I'm like 'man, really, this shits got to just go' and every weekend I swear I'm gonna shave it off but I just can't bring myself to do it. Bad times. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 How come they've never found a cure for baldness anyway? Useless bunch of sciencey bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vive_La_Villa Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 (edited) Scalp Micro Pigmentation. Edited November 12, 2019 by Vive_La_Villa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 19 minutes ago, sharkyvilla said: I'm getting that way a bit too. I reckon I'll eventually just shave it, keep my beard long and wear my glasses more which seems to distract attention away from the top of your head. In fact it might be quite liberating to just get it over with but yeah, it'll need doing regularly which is a pain in the arse. I have a job where I have to wear a hat anyway. Think that's a good point about glasses. Sadly I don't wear any. Maybe I'll have to go for those ones they wear in American Psycho with no lenses in them! 20 minutes ago, bannedfromHandV said: Aww man I'm with you, I've actually gone bald on top but using side hair to comb over, not that it prevents the hideousness of it all. I'm 36, when I was 22 I had hair that reached down to the middle of my back - actually used to play football wearing an 'alice-band' (a la Beckham), Sunday League in Stoke-on-Trent so you can imagine how that went down - anyway, it was glorious. I always knew I would go bald, the warning signs were there with the receding hair line but nothing has prepared me for it, I kind of make a joke of it but actually it really gets to me, every time I look in the mirror I'm like 'man, really, this shits got to just go' and every weekend I swear I'm gonna shave it off but I just can't bring myself to do it. Bad times. It's surprisingly easy to get emotionally attached to it. I've never really done much with it anyway - I spent 20 years getting a 'short back and sides', and ever since 'a number 3 all over' so it's not like the end of some great work of style, but I recognise that mirror monologue all too well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 21 minutes ago, bannedfromHandV said: Aww man I'm with you, I've actually gone bald on top but using side hair to comb over, not that it prevents the hideousness of it all. I'm 36, when I was 22 I had hair that reached down to the middle of my back - actually used to play football wearing an 'alice-band' (a la Beckham), Sunday League in Stoke-on-Trent so you can imagine how that went down - anyway, it was glorious. I always knew I would go bald, the warning signs were there with the receding hair line but nothing has prepared me for it, I kind of make a joke of it but actually it really gets to me, every time I look in the mirror I'm like 'man, really, this shits got to just go' and every weekend I swear I'm gonna shave it off but I just can't bring myself to do it. Bad times. True, I guess it's easy for me to say "nobody cares if someone else is bald" but I suppose it's not easy when it's happening to you. On the plus side, no more barbers! I hate going to the barbers. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 26 minutes ago, sharkyvilla said: I'm getting that way a bit too. I reckon I'll eventually just shave it, keep my beard long and wear my glasses more which seems to distract attention away from the top of your head. In fact it might be quite liberating to just get it over with but yeah, it'll need doing regularly which is a pain in the arse. I have a job where I have to wear a hat anyway. Ahhh, so that's what he was doing.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bannedfromHandV Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Having a shit at work, multiple empty traps and someone comes in and takes the trap immediately next to you, why, for the love of god why!! Happening to me right now. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 1 minute ago, bannedfromHandV said: Having a shit at work, multiple empty traps and someone comes in and takes the trap immediately next to you, why, for the love of god why!! Happening to me right now. It genuinely should be illegal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 12, 2019 Moderator Share Posted November 12, 2019 Having a shit at work and someone is in the bogs obviously skiving because they are tapping away on their phone. Time to sit in the next trap and shit, that'll teach 'em. People really should go to the bog and do ablutions only. This toilet would be all mine if it wasn't for the work shy 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam-AVFC Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 16 minutes ago, bannedfromHandV said: Having a shit at work, multiple empty traps and someone comes in and takes the trap immediately next to you, why, for the love of god why!! Happening to me right now. I imagine these are the sort of people that stole their grandma's knickers to have a sniff when they were a kid. Another toilet related annoyance is that other tenants in our office cannot seem to get around not putting hand towels in the loo. Every tenant has been here at least two years so should have grasped this by now, but each toilet seems to be blocked and out of order at least one day a week. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaglint Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 (edited) Not sure where else to put this. My dog pisses me off when he shouldn't. He basically eats the house whenever he is left alone. We've had the dog psychologist, the drugs, more exercise, more toys, mental stimulation games the whole nine yards. It's now at the point he's basically been tied to me all day and night for the last 5 months. Which is a pain in the arse to say the least. Gradually trying to retrain him, thought we were making some progress then after 20 mins of being on his own today he's starts scratching at the back doors again. To say I am disappointed is a massive massive understatement. If anyone has any experience of this or bright ideas please pipe up. Really running out of options now. Edited November 12, 2019 by villaglint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bannedfromHandV Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 14 minutes ago, bickster said: Having a shit at work and someone is in the bogs obviously skiving because they are tapping away on their phone. Time to sit in the next trap and shit, that'll teach 'em. People really should go to the bog and do ablutions only. This toilet would be all mine if it wasn't for the work shy They wouldn’t know cos i silent my phone upon entry.....so there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 12, 2019 Moderator Share Posted November 12, 2019 Just now, bannedfromHandV said: They wouldn’t know cos i silent my phone upon entry.....so there suggest you cut your fingernails then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumstopdogs Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 Someone in the trap next door to me is texting whilst having a dump. There's a time and a place sunshine! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bannedfromHandV Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 10 minutes ago, bickster said: suggest you cut your fingernails then Mate I'm a frickin mobile phone ninja........you won't catch me...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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