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Things that piss you off that shouldn't


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On 26/05/2016 at 17:19, Davkaus said:

I don't understand how people spend ages in the toilet. In and out in three minutes tops.

If there's a place I don't want to hang about reading the news or playing a game, it's a room that everybody shits in.

I get what you are saying but on the other side, you are also being paid to shit when you use the toilet at work. Plus its the only place at work where I can get some peace and quiet! I dedicate at least 20 mins to a dump at work 

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My social life.

Its feast and famine. I don't go out for weeks then I go out 4 times in the same week. Then I'll have a few quiet weeks then a Saturday is coming where I have invites for 3 different events.  

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I am pretty sure it can destroy your dick if you sneeze mid piss,  pretty sure yes

I would never be brave enough to go full pelt with a sneeze mid-flow in case I was to accidentally prolapse my urethra (turn my dinkle inside out).

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One of the reasons I left Boston was the closed mindedness of so many people there. It's a politically liberal city, but a very conservative town, and when you grow up in it, all those Boston ethics are thrust upon you, for better or worse, and it becomes oppressive. 

The last few years I lived there is best represented by this one interaction I had with a floor manager I worked with at my last job in Mass. There was a brief thunderstorm that day, and afterwards, a huge rainbow appeared. 

I said "Look at that rainbow!"

He said "Whadaya, smoke bath salts?"

I'm so happy I left. 

Edited by maqroll
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9 hours ago, mjmooney said:

Some people are just oafs. It's the same everywhere.

True, but Boston oafs are a specific sort of oaf, and typically found in the same general area and that's why I left, or one of the reasons. People in Maine can be provincial oafs too, but less antagonistic and more open minded than regular Boston oafery.*

 

*New word I just made up

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There's this guy at work who is a total Nervous Nelly. He literally talks gibberish in his attempts at banter, and he always initiates the banter. I can't get away from the guy, argh

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My nephew's father, who I've always known to be a complete narcissistic scumbag, and who has put my family through the court system at a high cost, and sent my sister's life into total upheaval, finally slipped up after one two many drinks. He sent me a text which he's going to regret in the morning. I'm not gonna say a word to him about it, or use the information if I don't have to, but he knows I hold the cards on him. The word removed.

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6 hours ago, HanoiVillan said:

Sounds like he fancies you. 

Classic signs. 

That's what I told a friend of mine! I said this dude is deep in the closet...eesh...

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4 hours ago, Adamus said:

People who use the word like too often and when it isn't appropriate.e.g. 'We LIKE decided to on holiday to LIKE Bali but before we could LIKE book had to LIKE call Portia to LIKE check that it was LIKE fine to LIKE confirm the booking.' I was born in Shakespeare's county and I hate butchery of the english language. rocket polishers

 

Loudon Wainwright III wrote  a great song about it, Cobwebs.   Kinda spoiled part of what's cool about the song by telling you that, because he just sings about the word but never actually mentions it, so you have to figure out what it's about.

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2 hours ago, maqroll said:

That's what I told a friend of mine! I said this dude is deep in the closet...eesh...

Is that the Maine variety of oafishness?   I always thought it had more to do with being taciturn (taciturnity? taciturnness?)  

My favorite (and only) Mainer joke:

A rich Texan is driving down the highway in Maine and sees an old guy sitting on the porch of a small house.   He asks him, "Is this your place?"   "Yup."   "How big is your property?"  "'Bout 10 acres."   The Texan says, "On my ranch back home I can get in my car in the morning and drive all day and I still won't be at the other end of my property."   The Mainer says, "Yah, I had a car like that once."

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40 minutes ago, il_serpente said:

Is that the Maine variety of oafishness?

You'd have to ask him...

Quote

My favorite (and only) Mainer joke:

A rich Texan is driving down the highway in Maine and sees an old guy sitting on the porch of a small house.   He asks him, "Is this your place?"   "Yup."   "How big is your property?"  "'Bout 10 acres."   The Texan says, "On my ranch back home I can get in my car in the morning and drive all day and I still won't be at the other end of my property."   The Mainer says, "Yah, I had a car like that once."

An oldie but a goody.

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9 hours ago, Meath_Villan said:

Trying to use the gps on the phone after a concert ......total ball ache

”ok Google. Navigate home”

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