Jump to content

Things that piss you off that shouldn't


AVFCforever1991

Recommended Posts

Thought I'd share a joke in this thread because it pissed off a former teacher of mine when it really shouldn't have.

On a special teachers day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from pupils.

The florist's son handed over a gift to the teacher who shook it and said 'I bet I know what it is-flowers.' 'Thats right' said the pupil.

The next pupil was the candy stores owner daughter. The teacher held and shook her gift and said 'I bet I can guess what it is-a box of candy.' That's right saiid the girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owners son. The teacher held the bag over his head and noticed that it was leaking. He touched a drop of the leakage with his finger and tasted it. 'Is it wine' he asked? 'No' the boy replied. The teacher then repeated the process touching another drop of the leakage to his tongue. 'Is it champagne' he asked? 'No' the boy replied.

The teacher then said 'I give up, what is it?'

The boy replied 'a puppy!'

I guess the moral of that story is as my teacher friend said is there for all to see.

Edited by Morpheus
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Moving on

 

Guy in my office can't understand sarcasm, or just doesn't have a sense of humour.

 

He went to the indoor athletics on the weekend. They shot t shirts in to the crowd and he got one.

 

So I asked, obviously sarcastically "Did you push a load of kids out of the way to get that?"

 

No smile, just a reply of "No! We were sitting very near the front of the upper tier so there was nobody in front of us. It landed at my feet so I just picked it up"

 

Sounded like I was interviewing him at a police station given his answer.

 

Possible aspergers/autism? Is he a bit socially awkward?

 

Yeah that's definitely it, I've said as much before.

He's brilliant at his job, he just has no social skills. Can't read people at all.

 

There was a guy on the undateables a few weeks back who had Aspergers and he was so similar to this guy it was scary

 

(this guy is my supervisor by the way, so it does get frustrating)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Answering the phone and there's no **** there.

 

Example; my phone just rang. I answered. No reply. Then a tone. Then an automated voice says "goodbye". ****.

 

I ring 1471. There's a number. I press 3 to call back.

 

Automated voice tells me "this number does not exist".

 

HOW THE **** DID THEY JUST CALL ME THEN????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thought I'd share a joke in this thread because it pissed off a former teacher of mine when it really shouldn't have.

On a special teachers day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from pupils.

The florist's son handed over a gift to the teacher who shook it and said 'I bet I know what it is-flowers.' 'Thats right' said the pupil.

The next pupil was the candy stores owner daughter. The teacher held and shook her gift and said 'I bet I can guess what it is-a box of candy.' That's right saiid the girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owners son. The teacher held the bag over his head and noticed that it was leaking. He touched a drop of the leakage with his finger and tasted it. 'Is it wine' he asked? 'No' the boy replied. The teacher then repeated the process touching another drop of the leakage to his tongue. 'Is it champagne' he asked? 'No' the boy replied.

The teacher then said 'I give up, what is it?'

The boy replied 'a puppy!'

I guess the moral of that story is as my teacher friend said is there for all to see.

Why was he pissed off?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So i'm going away for 3 months, and i'm desperately trying to save some money on my bills while i'm away, which is proving impossible. The one that particularly tickled me though was council tax:

 

I have to pay it while i'm away, but what really annoys me is that I can't get single person occupancy discount, because there's not a single person there! For those who aren't aware, you can get 25% off your bill if you live on your own, but despite no one being there at all, i'm not eligible for it. Shithouses.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So i'm going away for 3 months, and i'm desperately trying to save some money on my bills while i'm away, which is proving impossible. The one that particularly tickled me though was council tax:

 

I have to pay it while i'm away, but what really annoys me is that I can't get single person occupancy discount, because there's not a single person there! For those who aren't aware, you can get 25% off your bill if you live on your own, but despite no one being there at all, i'm not eligible for it. Shithouses.

Yep, I've got an empty house in Sutton Coldfield that's up for sale. It don't qualify for any relief or discount whilst it's empty - I have to pay full council tax on it, despite not using any services in Sutton Coldfield (I live in Hertfordshire), So I asked them if it would be cheaper for me to say that I lived there on my own, which they agreed that it would, as I would qualify for 25% discount. Completely ridiculous.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

So i'm going away for 3 months, and i'm desperately trying to save some money on my bills while i'm away, which is proving impossible. The one that particularly tickled me though was council tax:

 

I have to pay it while i'm away, but what really annoys me is that I can't get single person occupancy discount, because there's not a single person there! For those who aren't aware, you can get 25% off your bill if you live on your own, but despite no one being there at all, i'm not eligible for it. Shithouses.

Yep, I've got an empty house in Sutton Coldfield that's up for sale. It don't qualify for any relief or discount whilst it's empty - I have to pay full council tax on it, despite not using any services in Sutton Coldfield (I live in Hertfordshire), So I asked them if it would be cheaper for me to say that I lived there on my own, which they agreed that it would, as I would qualify for 25% discount. Completely ridiculous.

 

 

Funnily enough, that's pretty much what I said to them aswell. I was going to set up an account in my cat's name while I was away, but it barely seems worth the hassle.

 

It's ok though, because my mother in law kindly informed me that she's never had to pay council tax due to being on the receiving end of hundreds of pounds worth of housing benefit. That put my mind at rest somewhat. /sarcasm.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I've just pinged off a complaint to Tesco's over that pistachio.  Annoyingly, there's a 1000 character limit on their web forms, thus denying me my preferred level of verbosity when it comes to complaining.

 

 

I purchased 2 packets of pistachios in our last order, and had gotten round to eating some this morning when I came upon one that was rancid. I'm not one for exaggeration, but it was a genuine struggle to keep from vomiting.  After spitting it out, I had a look at what was left; it was black, shriveled and had what appeared to be white fur on it (I've taken a picture if you need a look). The rest of the (in-date) packet was binned.
 
After some research online (and some unnervingly familiar pics) I believe that a Navel Orangeworm is the culprit and - worse still - I've inadvertently eaten the thing.  This would explain the aftertaste that 3 packets of Monster Munch were unable to rid me of.  Admittedly, the internet being the internet, it also stated that I either have "pistachio cancer" or "all the Aids", but I'm 99% sure on the worm.  Which is SUPER gross and has put me off pistachios.  So, thanks for that.
 
PS despite my levity, this is a genuine complaint.
 
Regards,
 
-Gareth
Edited by GarethRDR
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...
Â