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Match Preview: Newcastle United v Aston Villa


ChrisVillan
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Villa visit the most overrated, deluded football club in world football looking to extend their winning run to...two.

FA Barclays Premiership

The Greatest Stadium Anywhere in the World. Ever.

Wednesday 31st January 2007

Kick Off 8pm

Following Villa's determined 2-0 win over a now seemingly resurgent Watford, Villa return from a brief absence in good spirits and will be hoping to pick up another three points. Would anybody like to offer a guess at when we last lost at their most bestest stadium ever? You're wrong. It was a 3-0 defeat in November 2001 (happy birthday CV!). Since then our visits to Newcastle have seen three draws, all 1-1, and a superb 3-0 win which was overshadowed by a punch-up between Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer, and the hilarious sending off of Steven Taylor who attempted to con the referee by feigning injury. Oh aye, their love their football in Newcastle.

The Villa team news is as unreliable as ever. Martin Laursen and Luke Moore look to be picking up match fitness in the reserves, leaving Mark Delaney as our only long-term absentee. Stilian Petrov, Chris Sutton and Craig Gardner all remain doubtful and JLloyd Samuel picked up an injury for the reserves this week. However, the big team news of course is the likely debutants. Norwegian international striker John Carew should spearhead the attack, with support from one side or the other, or the middle, from potential record signing Ashley Young. Young's name, of course, must always be followed by smug mention of the fact that he turned down West Ham. Lovely stuff.

Of course if you believe the media, Newcastle have 371 first choice players out injured for the next three years, but don't they do oh so well without them and aren't their fans oh so passionate. Well, one man's 'passionate' is another man's 'unemployable', and the injury list is rather exaggerated also, though not insignificant. Suffice to say Athletico Barcode won't have to get Santiago Munez back on emergency loan from Real Madrid any time soon, and the signing of four 13-year-old defenders from Outer Mongolia won't be necessary either. As the injury list is so long, I'll just say that there are possible returns in line for Titus Bramble (hooray!), Damien Duff and Antoin Sibierski. Terrifying.

Despite our comfortable (for comfortable, read 'piss easy') win over the Barcodes at Villa Park at the start of the season, our poor form and a few good results for Newcastle have drawn the two clubs back together in the league, with Villa now in 14th, two places behind Newcastle. However, we're only a point behind - so we would shoot past them with a win tomorrow night - and our goal difference is better.

Fortunately, Glenn Roedent has very kindly shot himself in the foot this week. In a desperate attempt to fuel the myth that Newcastle United's empty trophy room (well, cabinet...okay, shoebox) and the fact that they "love a goalscoring striker in the north east" (who doesn't?!) somehow constitutes a big club, Roedent has done our team talk for us. How very kind. We all remember when Olof Mellberg gobbed off about small heath and every Villa fan under the sun just knew it would come back to bite us. Well now Roedent has had a pretty obvious dig at Martin O'Neill, basically suggesting that his turning down the Newcastle job demonstrated a lack of courage. A wiser man than Roedent might argue that it showed one thing: Martin O'Neill is not an idiot. Hopefully we can make Dr Bullsh*t regret his stupid comments tomorrow night.

Unfortunately, Newcastle do have one shining light, and he's very much a man to watch tomorrow night. Obafemi Martins, the man of unknown age (although the Roedent insists he's 16), has begun to show his ability after a short period of 'settling in'. He doesn't always do the business by any means, but he is capable of turning a game on its head and single-handedly winning a game in which Newcastle look otherwise uninterested. Alan Shearer, anyone? They do love a goalscoring striker oop there. If we can keep Martins quiet tomorrow night we'll be fine. If not, he'll put us to the sword.

So, onto the predictions. Lineker-botherer and worst 6-0-6 presenter ever Mark Lawrenson has opted for a form-friendly 1-1 draw, citing Newcastle's "players coming back" and Villa "getting their tactics right" as his reasons. Mark...if we get our tactics right tomorrow night Newcastle won't see us for dust. And I think that will be the case. My prediction then, is 0-2, with goals coming from Gareth Barry (probably a penalty) and debutant John Carew. They love goalscoring strikers in Newcastle, after all.

Come on you Villa boys!

ChrisVillan

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I think it's quite possible that we'll see the return of the 4-3-3 with Gabby and Young bombing down the flanks, Carew leading the line and Barry, McCann and Osborne/Davis/Petrov forming a midfield trio that will nullify Dyer and co.

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and a superb 3-0 win which was overshadowed by a punch-up between Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer

It wasn't overshadowed, it was 'nicely complimented by' :):thumb:

Well, one man's 'passionate' is another man's 'unemployable'

:lol:

Excellent preview. Just the right amount of footy talk and insults :)

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Hey chris whats with all the hostility, did your boyfriend run off with a geordie or have you just got a lot of anger. woosa woosa a big breath and count to ten, now isn't that better, why the big attack on nufc, we don't have any history of hating each other (fans) or not from the nufc side that i've seen anyway so i take it it must be somthing personal or is it that your realising that O'Neil might not be the saviour that you thought he might be so you thought you take it out on the club that you play next and are doing better then you in the leauge and are in europe might i add, and im glad you mentioned form, cause as you say our results have been getting better but our form has been piss poor but still getting some good results, were as your form is just as bad but just can't get the results and seem to draw more then Rolf Harris,

I know what this is though its Roeders little dig at O'Neil and you feel you need to stick up for your man. To be honest i think Roeder speaks shit most the time and so do most Geordies and i never actually wanted him here but then i didn't want O'Neil either, So i don't know why the scathing attack, i think its probaly just that your jealous as you have to go to such great exagerations it seems that you don't like to admit that even with our injuries (yes 350 players or what ever you said) and bad performences we're still doing better then you and this is probaly very hard for you to accept, but hey thats life, i just hope this is not how all villa fans think :D

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It's a Villa website posting a Villa-biased and humourous preview. Did you expect anything else ? We have one resident Barcode fan who 'gets' this site. If you can't then I don't really know what to say.

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I can get humorous, but no i didn't expect this, this is definatly more of a personal attack, and i for one would be embarressed to write anything like this about another team , but hey if you didn't get that it was a humerous reply then theres no hope for any of us. :D:D:D

BTW Im not here to offend anyone or start arguemnets i was just suprised by the attack from a team that Nufc fans veiw as so insignificant

Hope its a good game btw Im going for 2-2 i think they'll be a few goals Martins and Carew to both get a brace

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this is definatly more of a personal attack, and i for one would be embarressed to write anything like this about another team ...... BTW Im not here to offend anyone or start arguemnets

and you were doing so well

from a team that Nufc fans veiw as so insignificant
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Bahahaha! I've just spent the longest three seconds of my life trying to work out how blanket abuse of the 326 million billion Newcastle United fans can possibly be taken as a personal attack. But I think I've got it. It is a personal attack because I personally thoroughly dislike Newcastle United. I can't help it. It's just who I am. I think it's a subconscious attempt to balance out the disproportionate level of media discharge which is routinely dribbled on St James' Park from a great height despite the club being singularly unsuccessful.

In any case, this was meant as a humourous preview for Villa fans and not particularly for the eyes of any sensitive Geordies (whoa, trippy paradox!). So, if I've offended anyone...nah, sod ya. If you don't get it, you don't get it. I stand by every word so feel free to get your kilt in a twist over it. It's no skin off my nose. I don't like Newcastle United one bit, so had this been meant as an attack rather than a chuckleworthy light read for the discerning and rather dry, sarcastic brummie, it would've been a might more scathing, believe me.

What's more, if this had been merely the product of Roedent's pathetic, ill-informed and deluded comments (when did Newcastle become a big club?), why is it that I have been active in giggling my arse off at Newcastle's misfortunate for as long as I can remember? Not important, I suppose. It makes you wrong though.

And finally...

Taking a leaf from the Little Book of Racist Excuses, I can't hate Newcastle: one of my best mates is a Barcode. And a southern one at that. Hmmm...

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gmvillan,

1. Thanks very much.

2. I'm a mod so I have nobody to complain to anyway. I didn't take the action here, but I know I couldn't give a toss about this comment. We can't make that decision for other posters.

3. Your comment didn't remain in that thread, but you weren't banned either. This numpty was.

4. Thanks again.

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