Drugs

[Rugeley Villa]

Two of the main things in helping me stop is that I actually wanted to stop, and also the guilt. Up until about 3 year ago I didn’t feel any guilt towards my drug use towards my kids. My partner would always ask, don’t you feel guilty. I honestly didn’t, and I didn’t see the problem. The guilt  really gets to me now, and I’m glad it does. Only the other day I went through an incident in my head, and how I felt at the time, and it made me want to curl up and die. Drugs are horrible destructive things, and destroy your mind, body, and spirit, aswell as your family. I’m 35 now, I don’t want my kids looking at me and thinking and saying my dad takes drugs. Or even them being told by people. Past is past, and I hope I can always guide my kids and educate them a bit more than the normal person who hasn’t exsperienced the drug life. Other things excite me now, where as before it was only drugs. 

[A'Villan]

1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Cocaine sex is the best. That’s the one part I miss the most tbf. 

Another fun fact. Sex on meth is over 2000 times more pleasurable than sex sober.

Don't ask me how they quantify that statement but it's straight out the mouth of addiction medicine at a major hospital.

Recovery of dopamine levels is similar between cocaine and meth, I'm guessing so is the sex on either.

[A'Villan]

1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Two of the main things in helping me stop is that I actually wanted to stop, and also the guilt. Up until about 3 year ago I didn’t feel any guilt towards my drug use towards my kids. My partner would always ask, don’t you feel guilty. I honestly didn’t, and I didn’t see the problem. The guilt  really gets to me now, and I’m glad it does. Only the other day I went through an incident in my head, and how I felt at the time, and it made me want to curl up and die. Drugs are horrible destructive things, and destroy your mind, body, and spirit, aswell as your family. I’m 35 now, I don’t want my kids looking at me and thinking and saying my dad takes drugs. Or even them being told by people. Past is past, and I hope I can always guide my kids and educate them a bit more than the normal person who hasn’t exsperienced the drug life. Other things excite me now, where as before it was only drugs. 

That's encouraging to read. I have always thought the most detrimental aspect of substance use or misuse comes from the social element. That you are attuned to the fact that it's not just about you shows understanding of relationship dynamics and that you value and prioritise healthy ones over whatever pull the drugs have had on you.

Addiction is a hindrance to change and therefore growth and that is the real battle with a lot of drugs. That said non-addictive drugs can have profound impact on your psyche for example LSD can be a catalyst for schizophrenia.

I don't really take issue with drugs when used in moderation or for recreational purposes. It's when addiction compromises quality of life that it becomes an issue that needs addressing.

[BOF]

20 minutes ago, A'Villan said:

Another fun fact. Sex on meth is over 2000 times more pleasurable than sex sober.

Dear Bucket list ...

[A'Villan]

7 minutes ago, BOF said:

Dear Bucket list ...

hahaha Oh dear. Well there's enough people out there that will tell you it can ruin your life and then there's also the living testaments to that.

I'm not going to hide one of the reasons behind why people lose their house, their loved ones, inhale the fumes of paint thinner, acetone, battery acid and whatever other cocktail.

Edited December 6, 2018 by A'Villan

[BOF]

1 minute ago, A'Villan said:

hahaha Oh dear. Well there's enough people out there that will tell you it can ruin your life and then there's also the living testaments to that.

I'm not going to hide one of the reasons behind why people lose their house, their loved ones, inhale the fumes of paint thinner, acetone, battery acid and whatever other cocktail.

Bucket list.  I'll do it when I'm 95.  Not now.  I'm too busy now.  I'll stick to the most damaging drug of them all for now.  Alcohol.

[maqroll]

Cannabis is fully legal in Massachusetts as of November. They say people there spent $2M the first week with sales tax going straight into municipal coffers.

[Rugeley Villa]

2 hours ago, A'Villan said:

Another fun fact. Sex on meth is over 2000 times more pleasurable than sex sober.

Don't ask me how they quantify that statement but it's straight out the mouth of addiction medicine at a major hospital.

Recovery of dopamine levels is similar between cocaine and meth, I'm guessing so is the sex on either.

Does not surprise me that. It’s crazy how much more pleasurable it is on coke, let alone meth which I’ve never done. 

[Rugeley Villa]

5 hours ago, A'Villan said:

That's encouraging to read. I have always thought the most detrimental aspect of substance use or misuse comes from the social element. That you are attuned to the fact that it's not just about you shows understanding of relationship dynamics and that you value and prioritise healthy ones over whatever pull the drugs have had on you.

Addiction is a hindrance to change and therefore growth and that is the real battle with a lot of drugs. That said non-addictive drugs can have profound impact on your psyche for example LSD can be a catalyst for schizophrenia.

I don't really take issue with drugs when used in moderation or for recreational purposes. It's when addiction compromises quality of life that it becomes an issue that needs addressing.

NA teaches complete abstinence from drugs AND alcohol. You cannot go there and say you are clean for X amount of time if you’ve had a few drinks now and again. I have trouble with that view, and I disagree with it. I get that alcohol opens up certain doors, but on a personal note, providing I’m not drinking too much and too heavily it works for me. I’ve tried the complete abstinence, and on a personal note again, I find it puts way too much pressure on the situation and I’m prone to having big blow outs. Plus I feel like I’ve got handcuffs on and I daren't go here, or I datent’t go there, or even for a family meal because I might drink. Don’t want to live like that, so I just drink now and again, but NA tell you that you WILL fall back into your addiction because of that, and you are failing. **** that. I like a drink, but I certainly wouldn’t like to drink every week. Well not anymore anyway. 

Edited December 6, 2018 by Rugeley Villa

[A'Villan]

3 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

AA teaches complete abstinence from drugs AND alcohol. You cannot go there and say you are clean for X amount of time if you’ve had a few drinks now and again. I have trouble with that view, and I disagree with it. I get that alcohol opens up certain doors, but on a personal note, providing I’m not drinking too much and too heavily it works for me. I’ve tried the complete abstinence, and on a personal note again, I find it puts way too much pressure on the situation and I’m prone to having big blow outs. Plus I feel like I’ve got handcuffs on and I daren't go here, or I datent’t go there, or even for a family meal because I might drink. Don’t want to live like that, so I just drink now and again, but AA tell you that you WILL fall back into your addiction because of that, and you are failing. **** that. I like a drink, but I certainly wouldn’t like to drink every week. Well not anymore anyway. 

I have been to 5 or so NA meetings, have glanced over the 12 steps and read a few pages of the Big Book. There's some good stuff in there, really.

I hear you though. While they are moving away from the complete abstinence stance, at least here in Melbourne, to more of a peer recovery model, the whole organisation can be a bit hardcore in it's methodology, a bit like the drug addicts themselves. An all or nothing approach. There's no denying it has improved the lives of many people tremendously and I have met and listened to some very interesting people and stories in the very brief time I have spent there.

I personally don't take issue with anyone having a drug of choice, whether that be tobacco or coffee, through to alcohol or heroin. If they are leading a fulfilling life and aren't jeopardising other peoples livelihood in the process than I don't see why people can't indulge every now and then.

The stereotypical drug addict steals your goods while your not looking and sells them for a quick buck at cash converters. Neglects their children. Is easily agitated and violent etc.

Yet addiction is rife in all walks of life. How many celebrities get off their faces daily and even die as a consequence? So many. Yet they can afford their addiction both financially but more importantly socially.

[il_serpente]

Drug story:

Boris was a guy at my university who had immigrated from the USSR with his family when he was in high school.  Even when I met him a year or two after this story took place his English wasn't the best.

Some friends of his were going to drop acid together on a Friday evening and Boris was going to join them-  his first trip.   So they set a time and place to meet to dose.  But Boris had a work study job doing deliveries for the university's laundry operation.  They were a large operation and provided laundry services for a lot of other institutions  in the city.   He wouldn't be able to finish his shift and get to the meeting place until ~20-30 minutes after the designated time.  Boris' friends said, "No problem.   It takes 20+ minutes for the acid to take effect, so just dose at the designated time and head back and meet us and we'll all start tripping at the same time."

The designated time to dose came right as Boris was approaching his final delivery destination of the evening, so he dropped his tab and went in.   It was the local mental hospital.  Boris' last delivery in the building was to a locked ward.  They let him in and he went to stock the linen room.  He came out and couldn't find the person who let him in.  I'm not sure if their shift had ended and they left or if they just went on a break.  The acid starts kicking in.  Boris the Russian emigre who speaks little English and is tripping on acid for the first time is knocking on the door out of the locked mental ward yelling through the door trying to convince people he is not crazy and they should let him out.   I don't think Boris ever tried acid again.

Boris also fell through the ice in the river on the way to campus once (the campus was on a bend in the river and the nearest bridge was probably 1/2 mile away).  I was at his house 2 days later and he was still lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket and shivering.   Life can't have been too much harder in Russia.

[A'Villan]

Have to do a presentation on cocaine for my uni course. Any facts and insights would be appreciated.

I know there's many sources to gather information from and VT may be fairly limited in what it can offer, but what do I know? May be you guys come up with a gem or two.

Edit: Any 'this one time when...' facts and insights are most welcome if they make for good reading.

Edited December 8, 2018 by A'Villan

[A'Villan]

23 hours ago, il_serpente said:

Drug story:

Boris was a guy at my university who had immigrated from the USSR with his family when he was in high school.  Even when I met him a year or two after this story took place his English wasn't the best.

Some friends of his were going to drop acid together on a Friday evening and Boris was going to join them-  his first trip.   So they set a time and place to meet to dose.  But Boris had a work study job doing deliveries for the university's laundry operation.  They were a large operation and provided laundry services for a lot of other institutions  in the city.   He wouldn't be able to finish his shift and get to the meeting place until ~20-30 minutes after the designated time.  Boris' friends said, "No problem.   It takes 20+ minutes for the acid to take effect, so just dose at the designated time and head back and meet us and we'll all start tripping at the same time."

The designated time to dose came right as Boris was approaching his final delivery destination of the evening, so he dropped his tab and went in.   It was the local mental hospital.  Boris' last delivery in the building was to a locked ward.  They let him in and he went to stock the linen room.  He came out and couldn't find the person who let him in.  I'm not sure if their shift had ended and they left or if they just went on a break.  The acid starts kicking in.  Boris the Russian emigre who speaks little English and is tripping on acid for the first time is knocking on the door out of the locked mental ward yelling through the door trying to convince people he is not crazy and they should let him out.   I don't think Boris ever tried acid again.

Boris also fell through the ice in the river on the way to campus once (the campus was on a bend in the river and the nearest bridge was probably 1/2 mile away).  I was at his house 2 days later and he was still lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket and shivering.   Life can't have been too much harder in Russia.

Absolutely brilliant. I was waiting for the line.. "Boris never got to leave the mental facility".

[maqroll]

7 minutes ago, A'Villan said:

Absolutely brilliant. I was waiting for the line.. "Boris never got to leave the mental facility".

terrifying

[A'Villan]

4 hours ago, maqroll said:

terrifying

Without wanting to reveal how and why, I can very much relate to his story. Mind boggling terrifying to say the least.

[Rugeley Villa]

8 hours ago, A'Villan said:

Have to do a presentation on cocaine for my uni course. Any facts and insights would be appreciated.

I know there's many sources to gather information from and VT may be fairly limited in what it can offer, but what do I know? May be you guys come up with a gem or two.

Edit: Any 'this one time when...' facts and insights are most welcome if they make for good reading.

My drug of choice, and my best friend for 15 years . I’ve took a lot of cocaine over the years. I’ve had cocaine induced  psychosis, which was unreal, and terrifying at the same time. Depending what you are after I could maybe distribute something. 

[wazzap24]

2 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Depending what you are after I could maybe distribute something. 

I'll have a Q, on the rock, No glucose and I'll know if you've stamped on it

[Designer1]

11 hours ago, A'Villan said:

Have to do a presentation on cocaine for my uni course.

Blimey, are you going to be able to concentrate?

[Rugeley Villa]

Coke was definitely my comfort pill. Could not rest until I had it in my pocket. Once I had it in my pocket, and even if I knew I wouldn’t be having none for a bit, I’d feel at ease and be able to relax and enjoy myself. Very uneasy without it, and people in my company noticed. Had some great nights on it, but some very low lows. Being sat up from night before about 6.00 in the morning on Xmas day still snorting on my own. This was before I had kids. My first xmas without my gran who was in hospital seriously ill, and I’d be too consumed by my addiction and grief that instead of visiting her, I was ringing dealers up and walking the streets buying coke to shoot up on Xmas day. The list goes on really, but looking back it was horrific, and you really lose yourself. 

Edited December 8, 2018 by Rugeley Villa

[Rugeley Villa]

Well tonight, my wife’s best friend, well ex best friend who’s got really bad on the crack has just rang up wanting to lend 50 quid. She admitted it was for crack, and my wife said no. Then half hour ago, I’ve just had a text off some work colleague asking if I’d be able to sort any coke out. Told him no chance. My mother in law who’s having a few mental health problems at the minute has been prescribed an old favourite of mine called Valium. She’s passed a few on to me to help with my anxiety. I’ve been great lately, but woke up this morning not too good. Had one earlier, and just had one before I got into bed. Chill and listen to Pink Floyd now.