mjmooney Posted December 10, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted December 10, 2018 1 hour ago, lapal_fan said: "I went for a vasectomy the other day because I decided I didn't want kids.. But they were still there when I got home" I'm using that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veloman Posted December 11, 2018 Share Posted December 11, 2018 From an array of Seasonal jokes I heard when backing 2nd rate comedians (I was a second rate drummer btw) :- 2 kids discussing what they are having for Xmas; "I'm having a puppy" say one. "Dad's keeping it in the bedroom". " How do you know ?" says other. 'Cos the other morning I heard him say to Mom, Grab hold of it , it won't bite you". Father says to son " What do want for Xmas son?" Son replies " I'd like something to wear and something to play with". So father buys him a pair of trousers and cuts the pockets off. I thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrDuck Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 On 11/12/2018 at 02:18, TheAuthority said: Blimey I always thought the majority of musicians were chill, easy going folks. When you have to organize them to do anything they turn into the biggest bunch of whiny, moaning babies in the world. I hate contracting. As someone who has been a leader of a band trying to organise musicians for over 25 years, I must say that this is completely and utterly untrue. No wait, the other one... completely and utterly correct! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrDuck Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Cos I'm now middle-aged and without any shame or coolness whatsoever, I'm now allowed to write and release a Christmas song without feeling even remotely embarrassed by the whole thing:https://thegatheringtide.bandcamp.com/ 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StefanAVFC Posted December 12, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted December 12, 2018 (edited) My choir doing Bogoroditse Devo by Rachmaninoff in Baden Baden. We're amateur but auditioned so the standard is fairly high. The acoustic in that room was awful. Edited December 12, 2018 by StefanAVFC 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 12, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted December 12, 2018 Good night at the open mic Xmas party last night. Played several songs, won the quiz (prize: my mate's band CD), and won best jokes of the night - thanks, VT joke thread! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 18 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said: My choir doing Bogoroditse Devo by Rachmaninoff in Baden Baden. We're amateur but auditioned so the standard is fairly high. That's great. Sack the word removed on the far left though. Flat as a pancake 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xann Posted December 12, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted December 12, 2018 Here's one for the resident pro. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Has anyone bought and built a diy guitar kit? havent played in over 20yrs (work, kids and sport all got in the way!) but fancy a project for the new year and to take it up again. Have had a look online and the kits seem a reasonable price and get decent enough reviews. Is it worth it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted December 13, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2018 8 hours ago, Xann said: Here's one for the resident pro. Reminds me of an old joke among jazz players I hung around with, dedicated to @TheAuthority: Q: What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead trombone player? A: The snake may have been on its way to a gig. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veloman Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Well while we seem to be telling musician jokes: A drummer goes for an audition with a 'reading' band. MD dishes out the music and the first number is a pleasant ballad. About half way through the drummer launches into an incredible solo; MD waves his arms and asks him what the hell he is doing. Drummer replies, "Well , on the music it says 'take it'!' ". MD has a look and says ,"That's not 'take it' …….. it's Tacit". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted December 13, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted December 13, 2018 Some Americans are on a safari in Africa in the 1950's with a local guide. As they're walking through the jungle they start hearing some drums of in the distance and ask the guide if it's anything to worry about. He says, "No, no worries. Drums: good. No drums: bad." A bit later, the drums sound a bit louder and faster and sound like they're being hit more aggressively. They ask the guide, "Should we worry? That drumming doesn't sound particularly friendly." The guide says, "No, no worries. Drums: good; no drums: bad." Later yet, the drumming ratchets up further and is really fast, loud, frantic. They ask the guide again, "Are you sure that drumming doesn't indicate a problem ? It sounds really ominous." "No, no worries. Drums: good; no drums: bad." So one of the tourists asks, "What happens when the drumming stops?" The guide says, "Bass solo." 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted January 2, 2019 Share Posted January 2, 2019 Bit of history, bit of science. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 On bass, Tina Weymouth Enjoyed the Tina Weymouth journey through bass on BBC 4. Wasn't just an hour of talking heads talking about Talking Heads. Felt more like the worlds best tutorial. Wanted to keep pausing it and writing down names for later research. Helped along by my crush on Tina, obvs... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted January 19, 2019 Moderator Share Posted January 19, 2019 11 hours ago, chrisp65 said: On bass, Tina Weymouth Enjoyed the Tina Weymouth journey through bass on BBC 4. Wasn't just an hour of talking heads talking about Talking Heads. Felt more like the worlds best tutorial. Wanted to keep pausing it and writing down names for later research. Helped along by my crush on Tina, obvs... I watched that too. It was good and eye opening. Could have done with a bit more of talking heads and her playing, though. She’s a really good bassist, in my inexpert view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 7 minutes ago, blandy said: I watched that too. It was good and eye opening. Could have done with a bit more of talking heads and her playing, though. She’s a really good bassist, in my inexpert view. Did you spot the clue as to why there wasn't more talking heads? The 'I wrote that' syndrome around some bands like James Brown etc.. I felt there was heavy reference to Mr D Byrne there. He was also cropped out of the opening shot of the Talking Heads band shot. I could be over thinking. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted January 19, 2019 Moderator Share Posted January 19, 2019 9 hours ago, chrisp65 said: Did you spot the clue as to why there wasn't more talking heads? The 'I wrote that' syndrome around some bands like James Brown etc.. I felt there was heavy reference to Mr D Byrne there. He was also cropped out of the opening shot of the Talking Heads band shot. I could be over thinking. Oh yes and also there was the bit where Tina was talking to mad glasses and sparkley togs bass player man, and they talked about the top dog arbitrarily deciding [whatever]. And she did a kind of "oh yes, been there" or maybe that's the same thing you mentioned. I'd had some beer. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 yeah, that's the bit, mad glasses man (Bootsy Collins) what's he ever done? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veloman Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 I saw Bootys Rubber Band at the Odeon in New Street many years ago; I think he was on with RAYDIO (Ray Parker Jnr). I can confidently say it was the loudest bass I have EVER heard. And it must be remembered :- that I am half deaf any way through spending some years sitting in front of 2 Marshall bass cabs - and - I have seen Motorhead !!!! Anyone who ever saw Lemmy might know what I mean ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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