dont_do_it_doug. Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 So none of you guys have ever been involved in a fight/scuffle? I have been charged with and found guilty of assault, burglary, criminal damage and possession (weed). All under the age of 22 In fact only the assault was as an adult. Common assault for what it's worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 The law is an ass, if you push someone you can get done for common assault. Yet they never take into account the provocation that lead to the assault. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 (edited) Got arrested due to the sale of an iPhone. Purchased an iPhone 4S 32GB on Gumtree for £250.00 just to make a profit as i already had one. Checked the phone and found everything working as normal. No sim though so did not test call. Got it home, took a photo and put it back on Gumtree for £420.00. Immediately got a lot of interest and agreed to meet a guy the next day in Belfast to exchange for the full £420.00 cash. The guy did his own checks (no test call) and all went well so i had made a very quick profit. Forward two weeks later at 8.10am one morning and i heard a loud knock on my front door. Thought it was the postman so said bollocks to that and i'll collect whatever it is later. Then a second knock. It was on the glass of my front door this time and i bolted upright in my bed. Then a third thump on my door which sounded like my front door being kicked in. I jumped up, wrestled with a pair of tracks and went down to open the front door which thankfully was still intact. There in front of me stood three Police Officers with a Police Land Rover parked behind them. One of the officers stated my name and i nodded my head in acknowledgement. I was then told to move back inside my home. I was followed by the three officers and then told i was being arrested for selling a fake iPhone. I was then read my rights. My fiancee entered our living room and she asked what the hell was going on? I told her i was being arrested over the sale of an iPhone. I then asked one of the officers was it ok to go upstairs to get dressed. He nodded his head and then proceeded to follow me up our stairs and into my bedroom. I gave him a look which said what the **** are you doing and the officer explained that since i was arrested he couldn't let me out of his sight. I was also ready to piss myself with shock so i had to fecking take a leak with the bathroom door open. While i was taking a leak, the other two officers searched my home for the fake iPhone factory they didn't find! Ok so i wasn't cuffed but i was led outside and put into the back of the Police Land Rover with my fiancee standing in the front doorway of our house, tears streaming down her face, probably with laughter as she had finally got rid of me. We drove to the bottom of our street and the officer driving then asked 'do you know where the Police Station is?' 'What?' 'Do ya know where the f**k!ng Police Station is?' 'Not from around here then' i stated with as much sarcasm as i could muster. Should have sent the f**k*rs uptown to a place where they be stoned and petrol bombed, but instead i gave them the correct directions. We arrived at the Police Station, i was brought through to the Custody Sergeant and strip searched. I was then given a pair of plain blue track bottoms with no ties, no shoes and put into a cell. A blue plastic mattress lay on a concrete bed and i found it to be soaked with condensation. The walls were decorated with the kind of coloured dots you were asked to use when sight tested at school. You know, those books, with different coloured numbers highlighted. I started to walk the cell trying to get my head around what had just happened and the cell echoed with the sound of my knee bones cracking. Considering everything, that was the worst. The sound of my bones cracking with every step i made, so i put the plastic mattress wet side down on the concrete bed and put my head between my legs. After about an hour, the sods had taken my watch, so it seemed like an hour, i was then taken to another room to get my mug shot and finger prints taken. The officer doing this started to talk to me about Rugby. At least he wasn't a nose! I was then put back in my cell again for what seemed like hours before i was finally taken back out again and into another room where my solicitor was waiting. Never been as glad to see a bloody solicitor. He had a rather wide smirk on his face and followed that up with 'well mate it got you out for the morning!' I then told my solicitor about the iPhone. Later two Police Officers interviewed me on tape and eventually i was released on bail. The upshot of it was that the guy who sold me the iPhone on Gumtree had sold me a very good fake. The Police had told my solicitor it was the best one they had seen and obviously the guy who i had sold the iPhone too had got a nasty shock when he tried to make a call. He had then contacted the Police who in turn got my address from Gumtree. My bail condition has been lifted but i still haven't heard the final outcome from the Police. It has been at least seven months since my arrest. The guy i sold the iPhone too is still out £420.00. Hopefully the first and very last time i'll ever be arrested. I've had to wait nearly fifty years to become a criminal and even though i didn't knowingly do anything wrong, i now have a Police record. Edited February 17, 2013 by Morpheus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted February 16, 2013 Moderator Share Posted February 16, 2013 These days plod seem to have it in for me on a daily basis, they bloody hate it when they are wrong that often. My usual answers these days are1) Data Protection2) Fraud Act 2006In fact plod themselves are ok, it plastic plod that I hate, they actually think they have a clue, love tying them in knots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avflife Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 I once asked the police for directions in Amsterdam when I was baked Quality post about Amsterdam, probably should of been arrested for my antics there if it was in the UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LockStockVilla Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Was in Dublin two Septembers ago and me and a few mates were going to Watch Ireland and Slovakia. Were getting the drinks in before the football started that evening and went to a shop and picked up a crate of beers. We were unsure of the drinking rules in Dublin as it pertained to drinking in the streets, etc...Asked the boy who sold it to us and said we'd be fine if we had the booze in brown paper bags, so even though we were skeptical, we did it anyways. So there we are heading to the Aviva with booze in tow and when we get to around the ground we decide to sit down by the river and drink our beers (obviously looking like total jakes with brown paper bags, drinking down by the river). Although weirdly enough nobody else seemed to be around there. After about an hour or so of this, two police make there way down, with a little bit of shocked looks on their faces. They politely asked what we were up to and we just said we were having a few beers before the football. They informed us that contrary to the shopkeepers advice it probably wouldn't be a good idea to drink in public and that in addition to that, police had supposedly blocked off the path along the river and they had no clue how we had gotten there (guess we were just sneaky ninjas, given we had walked right past them on our way there and nobody said a word.) They didn't seem too bothered tbh and to top it off we threw out my mates Uncle's name who happens to work for the police in Dublin, which went down a treat for him later, I'm sure. Ultimately the coppers just asked us to finish our beers as soon as possible and head towards the ground. Funny experience, cops aren't have bad in Dublin. The evidence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Nah but my brother almost got into trouble after an amusing misunderstanding. He'd been talking with his mate about a crappy b movie film hed been watching. Later at work he remembered and texted him. It was something like "Diagnosis Death". Unfortunately hed texted his mates home no where his mother lived who answered and proceeded to an automated voice repeat said film title. She panicked called the police who ended up hacking my brothers phone to find out where he was. On his lunch break he was a bit confused to find about 30 missed calls. Not actually in trouble when he evenrually explained but its the closest story to trouble im aware of from family and friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 I've had a few brushes with authority. Cuffed, cells, courts. Nothing major. But a previous poster is right, the law is a **** ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark24 Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 Cautioned for pissing in an alley in leeds last year. Took my details and all that but nothign else. You must have resisted the urge to backchat the plod, unlike me. Seems a common one this. I too got nicked for peeing in a street in Brum (when I was a student in the early/mid 90s), although this was more of a main street and not a back alley. I think they may have missed me peeing though and done me for running away, because they lobbed me in a van and drove me to the station, but would not say what the charge was. I was giving them some grief in the van, and they were giving me grief for being a northener/pissed. At no point did they charge me with anything, but as I was not cooperative they decided to lob me in the cell for the night. Not a pleasnt experience when pissed and dehydrating. Got let out the next morning, they did me for D & D but I got away with a caution and no fine. I joined that club this weekend. First time properly arrested and first time in the cells for the night. Is there any lad who hasn't done this some time? Was doing the business after not getting in where my mates were and just heard 'put it away' and looked around and saw 2 coppers behind me. I had to finish what I was doing and was expecting a bit of a lecture. Got asked my name and obviously didn't answer quick enough as they put on the cuffs and started looking in my pockets. Couldn't really talk to them and they called for a van and then got pushed along by the 2 of them along a road and into the back of a van. Arrived at the station and told I would be spending the night there and be charged with drunk and disorderly. Got searched and that - had to give them my belt and my jacket (had a string thing in it) and was put in the cell for the night. Didn't sleep much on the blue mattress on the concrete bench, got 2 blankets - one I used as a pillow. Heard other people screaming when they came in and banging on the cell doors and the light was kept on in the cell all night. Got to counting the bricks on the wall to get asleep. Just had the wall to look at and a big steel door with a hatch and a spy hole all closed up from my side. Was cold enough in the cell. It was after half eight when the hatch opened and I got asked if I wanted breakfast and if I eat sausages? I got a paper cup of tea and a paper plate with sausages and beans and a plastic spoon. Hard to cut the sausages with that. Eventually a sergeant came and told me what was happening. Had to have my fingerprints and photograph taken - seemed a bit much for a piss - but I did it. I got put back in my cell and then got to talk to a solicitor on the phone and ended up with a caution. The cops and detention officers or whatever they were called were OK in the morning and I just did what I was told to get out and get my stuff back. Wasn't how I planned on spending the night but suppose it was a lesson. Got let out and got some smokes straight away as I was dying for one and smoked 3 or 4 straight as I headed back. Once before I got into a discussion with bouncers on Broad Street. Police came and spoke to me and eventually cuffed me and put me in the back of the car and I thought I was going to the station. But they took me back to where I was staying and uncuffed me - said they were dearresting me and to sleep it off. i did - they were pretty sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baselayers Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 I got arrested for being too pretty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I got arrested for being too pretty. This GIF is so good, I had to save it into my computer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) On the public urinating thing Some of my friends were away on a weekend in Riga , around 2 am as they were walking home they got caught short and urinated up against a wall of a building Which turned out to be a Latvian diplomatic building or something and out came the rozzers my mates all legged it and managed to lose the rozzers but by a combination of drink and not being very good at navigation they managed to somehow go around in a full square and walk straight back to the original scene of the crime and straight into a rather bewildered set of policemen they got put in cells , relieved of any money in their pocket, driven around in the back of a police van a few times and finally in the morning got issued with a court summons for a future date needless to say they left the country the next day as the weekend was over ... and they won't be going back any time soon ... 1 of them did receive a follow up letter at his home in the UK a few months later but he binned it and heard no more (it's been about 4 years now) Edited February 20, 2013 by tonyh29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) I was er.... test driving Mrs E's new (at the time) Mini Cooper S JCW (1.6 Supercharged 216bhp) Basically a flashy Go Kart. Coming down the M20 on Wrotham Hill (Kent) doing 138mph at about 10pm when I spied some pretty blue lights. I thought "**** - thats it. Ta ta licence." Pulled over. Got straight out and straight into the back of the plod car photocard in hand. Plod gives me the speed lecture - I agree and apologise emphasising that I really am an irresponsible word removed. He's filling in his form or whatever when his mobile rings... he gets out to take the call. He gets back in. PC49: "Its your birthday" Me: "No its not" PC49: "Its your birthday" Me: "No its not - you've got me licence - you can see my D.O.B." PC49: "Its your **** birthday. Now get out of the **** car and don't be such a prick in future" So he literally roars off leaving me on the hard shoulder with a sphincter twitching like a rabbits nose. 65mph all the way home. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I've also been tugged before whilst driving a self hire van on the motorway. Plod's opening gambit was "Is this your vehicle sir" Edited February 20, 2013 by Eames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 20, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted February 20, 2013 Can't say I'd have had much sympathy if you had had your license taken off you for doing 138mph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 I wouldn't have done either to be honest. Couldn't have complained. They have had it in form me since though. I keep getting tugged for "random" checks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Can't say I'd have had much sympathy if you had had your license taken off you for doing 138mph. lentil munching french communist lesbian town planner alert! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Can't say I'd have had much sympathy if you had had your license taken off you for doing 138mph. lentil munching french communist lesbian town planner alert! Oy! What's wrong with being a lentil munching communist lesbian town planner? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Can't say I'd have had much sympathy if you had had your license taken off you for doing 138mph. lentil munching french communist lesbian town planner alert! Oy! What's wrong with being a lentil munching communist lesbian town planner? The 'town planner' bit I think. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 yeah, town planner was twisting the knife sorry about that, I'm a lot calmer today once upon a time I was involved in a silly curfuffle at a football match it was all a bit push and shove, but lurking behind the tea stall I could see a policeman chap I called to him asking if he was scared to get involved or just waiting for me to properly hit the drunken idiot I was pushing away with that he smartly stepped out and announced he was breaking it all up. He then threatened to 'do' us both for football violence which was quite the vogue worst crime in the world back then I pointed out that 'doing' me would be a shame as it was me that had spotted him hiding and called him over dickhead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 For those that care, I got off with nothing . This was about 5 months ago though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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