Marka Ragnos Posted January 8, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted January 8, 2016 1 hour ago, VillaCas said: Harsh! The townspeople were simple folk and only wanted what was best for the bicycle But they aren't simple -- they're software engineers and cable company owners and brilliant retirees or whatever. Why do they spend so much time and energy worrying about a broken bicycle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TRO Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 (edited) 4 hours ago, VillaCas said: The Emperor’s New Bicycle Once upon a time, many years ago there was an Emperor so exceedingly fond of bicycles that he dreamed of owning the fastest bicycle in the world. The bicycles in his own kingdom were not very good at all, so he travelled to a far-off land and bought a beautiful claret and blue bicycle from a kindly but miserly man called Mr Deadly (Mr Deadly was very well known to everyone who loved bicycles for he was the man who had invented something called the “bicycle kick” – but that’s a story for another day). The Emperor cared nothing about reviewing his soldiers, going to the theatre, or going for a ride in his carriage, all he wanted to do was look at his beautiful new bicycle Although the Emperor and Mr Deadly were both very rich, neither of them really knew how to ride a bicycle so whenever the bicycle was in a race, Mr Deadly had always asked a magical leprechaun to ride the bicycle for him. The leprechaun could peddle really fast and always finished near the front of the race. Race after race the magical leprechaun always finished right near the front, but as time passed the leprechaun became very mischievous and began asking the Emperor for more and more shiny new parts for the bicycle. The Emperor was confused because the leprechaun didn’t really use all the expensive bicycle parts he already had so he refused the leprechaun’s request. The leprechaun got very angry and ran away just before a very important race (taking a lot of the Emperor’s money with him!) The Emperor was very sad, but after talking it over with the leader of his army, General Clueless, they decided to ask an old Frenchman to ride the bicycle in the big race for them. He had once ridden a large, fast, red bicycle and so was very experienced and wise. The Emperor and General Clueless thought that the Frenchman might do very well in the next race. In fact, General Clueless, who had a very loud voice, boasted to the whole town about how fast the bicycle would go, but sadly, although he tried his best the Frenchman was just too old to ride fast anymore and he had to stop before the end of the race as he was so puffed out! The Emperor and General Clueless then asked the advice of the angry, red-nosed man whose bicycle always seemed to win the race, but the naughty red-nosed man was not very honest and he tricked the Emperor into employing an out-of-work Scotsman The Scotsman could not make the bicycle go very fast at all. In fact, he mostly liked to park the bicycle so that all the other bicycles could not get where they wanted to go. After not very long the Emperor had to ask the Scotsman to leave Not learning his lesson, he employed a second Scotsman who had shown he could ride a little bicycle quite well, but it turned out he couldn’t ride a big bicycle very well at all. The second Scotsman tried to put some new parts on the bicycle to make it go faster, but because the Emperor was now getting a bit fed up with bicycles, he would not give him much money and so the parts he could buy were not very good The second Scotsman tried and tried but failed again and again. The Emperor by now was sick and tired of bicycles and hardly ever came to watch the races. General Clueless refused to speak to the townspeople and eventually the Emperor announced that he was going to sell the bicycle. Time past but no-one came forward to buy the bicycle. The Emperor hated bicycles by now and so asked Mr Fox to look after the bicycle until it could be sold Mr Fox had great plans for the bicycle and vowed to the townspeople that he would make the bicycle very fast again like in the olden days. The people cheered (but were a little bit doubtful!) In the great city where he lived, life was always gay. Every day many strangers came to town, and among them one day came a swindler known as “Tricky Tim” – he claimed to be a bicycle expert and could make the most magnificent bicycle imaginable. Mr Fox was smitten and asked the swindler to start work at once. To begin with it looked like “Tricky Tim” might know what he was talking about and he qualified the bicycle for a very big race but when he got there he fell off the bicycle in front of everyone. People from all the other towns laughed. During the summer “Tricky Tim” and Mr Fox decide to rebuild the bicycle – “that’s the trouble” they thought, “We need new shiny parts to make the bicycle go faster!” With their helpers they bought lots of new parts, but to the dismay of the townsfolk they sold what seemed to be the best parts of the old bicycle. “Tricky Tim” wheeled the new bicycle out of the workshop and it looked very odd indeed! It had lots of parts in some places and not very many parts in others. The wheels at the front were tiny and it looked like the bicycle would not go very fast at all. Undaunted “Tricky Tim” wheeled the bicycle to the start of the race. “Watch me go!” he shouted (for as well as being a swindler, he was a massive knobhead too). The flag dropped and “Tricky Tim” peddled as fast as he could and at the start it looked like everything might be alright but soon the oddly-shaped bicycle overbalanced and “Tricky Tim” fell off, he kept getting back on and falling back off – he tried putting all the parts in different places but that just made things worse It became very obvious to the townspeople that “Tricky Tim” had no idea about bicycles at all and very soon Mr Fox had to ask him to get off the bicycle for good. Things had become very bad indeed and the Emperors once proud claret and blue bicycle was always last in all the races. There was no more money for new parts and no-one knew what to do In desperation Mr Fox asked another Frenchman to try and ride the bicycle in the race. The Frenchman got on the bicycle and had a go – “mon dieu! zis bicycle iz terrible” said the Frenchman The Frenchman was right - some parts of the bicycle could go backwards but not forwards and other parts of the bicycle would go forwards but not backwards. At the very front of the bicycle was a massive heavy bell on the end of the handlebar. The whole thing creaked and groaned as it moved forward. The Frenchman tried again “Peddle faster! Peddle faster!” the townsfolk shouted but nothing would work. Although it was not really the Frenchman’s fault, some of the crowd jeered and threw stones as they were by now very, very angry. When last seen the bicycle was moving very slowly in very last place in the race. The Emperor had not been seen for a very long time but people said that he still wanted to sell the bicycle. The Frenchman gamely kept talking about how he might make the bicycle a little bit faster. The General shouted something from a long way, away and Mr Fox just stood around with his minions looking very, very confused. The townspeople cried. People from nearby towns laughed and pointed. The townsfolk were never happy, ever again. THE END ....but Randy Lerner has never bought a bike Ps ....But can you get my daughters kids to sleep Edited January 8, 2016 by TRO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prmort Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 14 minutes ago, TRO said: The Scotsman could not make the bicycle go very fast at all. In fact, he mostly liked to park the bicycle so that all the other bicycles could not get where they wanted to go. That made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Barney_avfc Posted January 8, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2016 Banner fans will have for tomorrow's game! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreveryoung Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 13 minutes ago, Barney_avfc said: Banner fans will have for tomorrow's game! Thats pretty cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 How big is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 My dad mentioned he hopes he's nowhere near the banner. Its cringeworthy and small time. It's almost as if people don't realise Lerner has tried to sell the club. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Being marooned at the bottom of the league is cringeworthy and small time. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post dont_do_it_doug. Posted January 8, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted January 8, 2016 How big is it? About 6 and a half inches. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 9 minutes ago, dont_do_it_doug. said: About 6 and a half inches. Not really big enough for TV, is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 9 minutes ago, dont_do_it_doug. said: About 6 and a half inches. wet through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fun Factory Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 1 hour ago, coda said: Being marooned at the bottom of the league is cringeworthy and small time. Zing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 About 6 and a half inches. Not really big enough for TV, is it? [emoji6] I dunno, wang it up on a 55 inch LED and it looks alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaw_nuff Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 1 hour ago, kurtsimonw said: My dad mentioned he hopes he's nowhere near the banner. Its cringeworthy and small time. It's almost as if people don't realise Lerner has tried to sell the club. I can't sell my house. No one will give me the gazillion quid I demand. Drop the price. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 My dad mentioned he hopes he's nowhere near the banner. Its cringeworthy and small time. It's almost as if people don't realise Lerner has tried to sell the club. I can't sell my house. No one will give me the gazillion quid I demand. Drop the price. Or... Just a big "**** you" from is to him. Why not? What would make such a banner "cringeworthy"? Not every protest has to have such a worthy cause, simply expressing an opinion is equally valid. Anyone who finds that banner cringeworthy wants to get their head out their arse IMO 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 Of all the things about Villa that make me cringe, that banner is pretty far down the list. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 perfectly comfortable with someone making a banner, trying to work out the size of it though.....looks 'modest' 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCJonah Posted January 8, 2016 Share Posted January 8, 2016 1 hour ago, kurtsimonw said: My dad mentioned he hopes he's nowhere near the banner. Its cringeworthy and small time. It's almost as if people don't realise Lerner has tried to sell the club. I find this attitude cringworthy and small time 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted January 9, 2016 Share Posted January 9, 2016 (edited) 13 hours ago, dont_do_it_doug. said: Or... Just a big "**** you" from is to him. Why not? What would make such a banner "cringeworthy"? Not every protest has to have such a worthy cause, simply expressing an opinion is equally valid. Anyone who finds that banner cringeworthy wants to get their head out their arse IMO Lerner has dropped the price. Selling a football club, certainly with new FFP rules is definitely harder. Just because we won't him to give it away, doesn't mean he will. You say simply expressing an opinion is a valid thing to do, then call people for sharing my dad's opinion to "get their head out of their arse". Odd. some text removed by mods Edited January 9, 2016 by blandy breach of guidelines Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted January 9, 2016 Share Posted January 9, 2016 I got no problems with banners or fans venting their spleens it's "Lerner out" that bothers me slightly, he wants out, he's admitted it we all know it, that message is pretty meaningless Would prefer a banner along the lines of if you want out prove it drop the price, or questioning the CVs of the men running our club in to the ground or even just a good old "what the **** is going on" banner "Lerner out" is wasted effort IMO 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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