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April Jones


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Never liked that bitch Burley.

Kay Burley to undertake ‘how to act like a goddamn human being’ training

As Sky News gave up trying to get Kay Burley to act with sensitivity, the broadcaster has said it will now settle for her behaving like a goddamn human being every now and again.

As Burley accosted the godmother of missing five year old April Jones to tell her the youngster was probably dead, executives admitted it was probably time to do something about her.

A Sky spokesperson explained, “It’s not her fault, she’s like one of those automotons you get in science fiction movies. Completely devoid of emotion and empathy – it makes her brilliant with an autocue, but awful with other human beings.”

“She has no comprehension of human emotions, and as such can sometimes ask the most awful questions imaginable, and present them in the bluntest terms possible.”

“Sure, that makes her come across as something of a heartless witch, but we hope that with a little training she might be able to be reintegrated into polite society without everyone questioning whether she has a soul inside her black heart.”

Kay Burley interview

However viewers have insisted it’s probably now a little late for training, and it would be best for all concerned if she was burned at the stake.

As one viewer explained, “I’m not saying she has the most hateful, sociopathic approach to journalism on the planet, or that she is entirely bereft of humanity – I’m just saying I’d have no idea where to start looking for someone worse than her.”

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Seem a man has been arrested over the missing April Jones. Suspected murder. :cry:

I thought he was arrested on Tuesday?

Well yeah quite, he was held for questioning, that's now changed to suspicion of murder.

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Well yeah quite, he was held for questioning, that's now changed to suspicion of murder.

Yep, I see now. Only just looked at the news.

So who is this Mark Bridger guy they arrested and why were they on to him so quickly?

I think many newspaper outlets have been carrying almost a full life history of this guy since his original arrest including former partners, details of his children, his parents and where they live (what the point of that is, I don't know) and so on.

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I haven't really followed it too closely but I am interested to know why he is connected to the case. They pulled him in the first time pretty much the day after she went missing so they must have known something about him?

What was reported was that he was a family friend and the (or a) child with whom this little girl was playing was one of his. Whether that's right or not - well, your guess is as good as mine.

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Initially I thought maybe they had taken him into questioning as he had a previous convition for abduction, or child abuse, or was on the sex offenders register, aswell as having a car that matched the description the girl was seen getting into. The former doesnt seem to be the case, though, unless the fact hasnt been gobbled up by the media yet.

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