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If I ruled the world.....


chrisp65

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MJMooney did go to the trouble of printing the lyrics rather than some modern affectation of 'linking'.

I do now have a mental picture of Mr M as a short rotund jolly welshman in black and white.

For what it's worth, I'd be banning umbrellas and I wouldn't look kindly on the use of the word soccer. People that say 'soccer' suggest to me they have to distinguish 'football' from their own oddly shaped perversions. I think we've agreed elsewhere what we are doing with perverts.

Nobody fit and well gets benefits without contributing somehow. They can pick litter, paint, help out in care homes. a million jobs that need doing. No fit and able people 'on the dole' with economic migrant workers getting low wage jobs. That's not a downer on foreign types, they are more than welcome. But let's not bring people in to do the jobs some of us can't be arsed with.

I really really don't read the Daily Heil.

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Nobody fit and well gets benefits without contributing somehow. They can pick litter, paint, help out in care homes. a million jobs that need doing.

*cough* slave trade *cough* That only works if there are jobs out there for them :) If I didn't have a job, I'd hope to be very busy LOOKING for a job rather than picking shite up off the side of the road. Jobs don't find you. You find jobs. And you don't tend to find them in a chain gang walking up a country lane.

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Nobody fit and well gets benefits without contributing somehow. They can pick litter, paint, help out in care homes. a million jobs that need doing.

*cough* slave trade *cough* That only works if there are jobs out there for them :) If I didn't have a job, I'd hope to be very busy LOOKING for a job rather than picking shite up off the side of the road. Jobs don't find you. You find jobs. And you don't tend to find them in a chain gang walking up a country lane.

yeah a good point and one I've agonised over for literally seconds. I'm really not suggesting a shitty chain gang that the currently political parties would turn it into. I'm talking about some magical ingredient 'x' I haven't yet quite nailed that turns chain gangs, slave labour, big society and all that into a productive thing. A bit like Remploy before they dismantled it.

A couple of days a week doing stuff that will contribute, no shame in it, no stigma, no orange boiler suits. just a form of resource we can call on to do 'stuff'. Do you know what, we could even spend lottery money building factories that make stuff we don't currently make. Off the top of my head, we don't make washing machines here, so let's build a washing machine factory in.....Merthyr or Redditch.

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Hang on!

Nobody tutted at the idea of pushing women to the ground for being a nuisance. But getting the unemployed working causes debate!

You're going in my little book, what your name?

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Nobody fit and well gets benefits without contributing somehow. They can pick litter, paint, help out in care homes. a million jobs that need doing.

*cough* slave trade *cough* That only works if there are jobs out there for them :) If I didn't have a job, I'd hope to be very busy LOOKING for a job rather than picking shite up off the side of the road. Jobs don't find you. You find jobs. And you don't tend to find them in a chain gang walking up a country lane.

It seems BOF has a JOB :shock:

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Nobody fit and well gets benefits without contributing somehow. They can pick litter, paint, help out in care homes. a million jobs that need doing.

*cough* slave trade *cough* That only works if there are jobs out there for them :) If I didn't have a job, I'd hope to be very busy LOOKING for a job rather than picking shite up off the side of the road. Jobs don't find you. You find jobs. And you don't tend to find them in a chain gang walking up a country lane.

yeah a good point and one I've agonised over for literally seconds. I'm really not suggesting a shitty chain gang that the currently political parties would turn it into. I'm talking about some magical ingredient 'x' I haven't yet quite nailed that turns chain gangs, slave labour, big society and all that into a productive thing. A bit like Remploy before they dismantled it.

A couple of days a week doing stuff that will contribute, no shame in it, no stigma, no orange boiler suits. just a form of resource we can call on to do 'stuff'. Do you know what, we could even spend lottery money building factories that make stuff we don't currently make. Off the top of my head, we don't make washing machines here, so let's build a washing machine factory in.....Merthyr or Redditch.

lifts, no one makes lifts, i think they are all made in italy and shipped here

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No, shh, Tony's my name, innit.

slightly OT but after my hotel rooftop escaped in North Korea the hotel security asked me my name and room number .. which of course I made up and went on my way

the hotel staff having discussed it further with the local heirachy , our DPRK overlords decided we had a bit more to answer for and went up to my room only to wake up some little old lady ... they then proceeded to knock on every hotel room waking everybody up trying to find us

My partner in crime and myself were blissfully unaware sitting in the bar with our official minder who had found the whole thing rather amusing ... as we pointed out , we were explicitly told things we couldn't do and climbing off the hotel balcony onto the hotel foyer roof for a picture standing next to Kim Il-sung's portrait at 2am wasn't one of them .. we had to delete the pictures sadly but other than that after much bemusement we were free to go back on our merry way .. seems the concern was that we may have draped a blanket over his portrait or something that the US could use for propaganda

actually there is a lesson there for any would be world ruler , be crystal clear in your rules when creating your system of dictatorship

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actually there is a lesson there for any would be world ruler , be crystal clear in your rules when creating your system of dictatorship
Everything not compulsory is forbidden.

Everything not forbidden is compulsory.

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Just a glorified things that piss you off thread from a different angle. :)

But if I ruled the world, every girl I moved to would have to suck my penis on demand.

Oh and i would bring back public hangings.

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I'd enforce an international cull of snakes and gypsies.

Cars that look stupid (Smart cars, Minis) and cars that have stupid names (Ford Ka, Nissan Qashqai) would be melted down, back into usable metal.

Those dorky emo kids who comb their hair over one eye and walk around with their heads at an angle so that they can see will have their heads shaved.

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Also, if you did rule the World, would you wear a sharp suit like our Western leaders or would you go mad and dress up in some military uniform covered in meaningless medals like Colonel Gaddafi or Prince Philip.

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