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mummy there is a turd floating in the pool


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Just when you think relations between our domestic football and the power houses of the game FIFA and UEFA along comes Sir Dave Richards chair of the Premier League and village idiot.

Shortly afterwards at a gala dinner the 68 year-old did for himself what many at Fifa and Uefa might have liked to do to him: he stumbled into an ornamental pool, soaking his suit.

The Premier League chairman was using a sports-security conference in Qatar as his platform to attack Fifa and Uefa. Among the delegates was the recently elected Fifa vice-president, Prince Ali Bin Hussein of Jordan.

“England gave the world football,” said Richards. “Then, 50 years later, some guy came along and said you’re liars and they actually stole it. It was called Fifa. Fifty years later, another gang came along called Uefa and stole a bit more.”

Both Fifa and Uefa declined to comment when asked for a response. But neither needed to spell out how the comments come at a delicate time for British football’s international relations.

Fifa’s German executive-committee member, Theo Zwanziger, has tabled a motion seeking to strip the British of their vice-presidency at the world governing body. If that comes to pass it will end a 66-year-old privilege held by the home unions.

The Football Association will fight hard to retain its position at Fifa’s top table and distanced itself from its vice-chairman’s injurious comments. “Sir Dave Richards is not representing the FA at this conference and his personal views are in no way shared or endorsed by the FA.”

The Premier League had also swiftly sought to limit the damage wrought by its top official.

“Sir Dave is attending the conference in a private and personal capacity; his comments in no way reflect the views of the Premier League,” it said in a statement.

Richards last night said sorry for his outburst. He said: “I would like to apologise for any offence caused.” Following criticism of what he said, Richards said his “comments on the heritage of the game were intended to be light-hearted,” adding that “I sincerely regret making them and any resulting negativity that may have been interpreted towards Fifa and Uefa.”

There is no question English football has been embarrassed by Richards: his views about Uefa and Fifa have never been discussed at executive level or at meetings of the League’s 20 shareholder clubs. They have not been raised at FA board level either.

Indeed there is private exasperation that a man whose League and FA positions are also combined with his presidency of the European Professional Football Leagues body has once more become muddled in a tangle of agendas. Under English football statutes Richards must resign from his Premier League position — and with it his FA posts – when he turns 70 in October next year. In theory he retains his League chairmanship by annual re-election but he has never yet been challenged. That may change at the League’s June AGM when the 20 clubs will have the chance to oust him.

Moreover the explicit attack on the football authorities was not Richards’s only bungle at the Qatar conference. When Hussein told the conference of the Fifa belief that football in fact originated from China, Richards became shrill.

“It started in Sheffield 150 years ago,” said the Sheffield-born administrator. “We started the game and wrote the rules and took it the world. The Chinese may say they own it but the British own it and we gave it to the rest of the world.”

One eyewitness of Richards’s stumble into the ornamental pool reported how his fellow FA board member, the Bolton Wanderers chairman, Phil Gartside had been called upon to fish out the “bedraggled” executive.

“Gartside helped fish him out and he looked shocked and bedraggled,” said the eyewitness. “He turned tail and left to get changed. He didn’t come back.”

There is no suggestion Richards had taken on drink. He had earlier railed against the unavailability of alcohol when Qatar came to be the 2022 World Cup-organising nation.

“In our country and in Germany, we have a culture,” Richards said. “We call it, 'We would like to go for a pint and that pint is a pint of beer.’ It is our culture as much as your culture is not drinking. There has to be a happy medium.

“If you don’t do something about it, you are starting to bury your head in the sand because it needs addressing. You might be better off saying don’t come. But a World Cup without England, Germany, the Dutch, Danes and Scandinavians? It’s unthinkable.”

Nice one Dave, thanks for showing the world our culture by the way I think you have a gold fish in your pocket. Fancy another pint?


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We started the game and wrote the rules and took it the world.

Who's we? Everyone involved with the early formation and spread of football dead.

Just like the white people of today cannot be blamed for the persecution of black people, English people of today cannot take credit for 'giving the world football'.

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What a tosser.

In somewhat related news, when I was a schoolboy some twenty years ago we had our class swimming lesson evacuated because somebody did a shit in the swimming pool. Seeing a floating turd being fished out of a swimming pool by a man with a comedy sized net is something that will live with me for the rest of my days. When we got back on the bus the teacher made us all show our trunks so they could identify the culprit. To protect their identity because they are a Villa fan and there is an outside chance they post on this forum, lets say it was a girl called Jane Smith. When I got home from school I burst into the house all excited to tell my mum the news:

Me: "Mum! Mum! Jane Smith did a poo in the swimming pool today and we all got thrown out and sent home!"

Mum: (obviously not listening) "Mmmm, that's nice dear."


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Am pretty sure this moron is the reason Sheffield Wednesday are in their current financial predicament and somewhow got a great position in Premier League and FA. Can moan about FIFA corruption all you want but this guy stinks

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England will never host a world cup again if those in the FA or connected with it keep bad mouthing FIFA:

If the brown envelope is big enough those corrupt tossers at FIFA and UEFA will forget anything

But in terms of the incident very poor form , that sort of behaviour maybe acceptable in Sheffield but not the rest of the world

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They are governed by strict sharia law in Qatar and there has been widespread shock to what he said.

When asked if he wanted to get stoned for what he had done, he chose just to get pissed again instead.

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I wonder why he didn't call out the Brazilians for banning alcohol from football stadiums (it's prohibited by law there)....there hasn't been any resolution on that yet, and the Brazil WC is before Qatar...Strange to even say Qatar World Cup.....anyways I'd think he'd want to sort out Brazil first...he still comes off as pretty belligerent here though...not making any friends, to be sure.

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