The Amazon.co.uk Review Game

[GarethRDR]

This review is from: 5 Star Pencil Sharpener Pocket-sized Metal for Max. Diameter 8mm Double Hole [Pack of 5] (Office Product)

5.0 out of 5 stars superb, 28 Sep 2010

This is simple to use, just insert pencil and turn, produces quality sharpness, unparalled by any other sharpner. The only downside is that the shavings produced are not contained but this can be overcome by simply standing over a bin.

Overall i would recommend this to anyone who would wants to give their pencil a good seeing to.

[Brumerican]

Not 1 star but still...

45 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Quite simply miraculous!, 15 Sep 2009

By L. Hennessy (Twickenham) - See all my reviews

(TOP 50 REVIEWER) This review is from: Jesus - first aid in a tin - plasters / band aids

As a semi-professional nurse attending an Accident and Emergency ward in a large London hospital, I was constantly frustrated by the limitations of the technology we were using to treat patients.

As the economy turned towards recession and departmental funding started to be reduced, our managers started looking for ways to make cuts - at first it was small items: no coffee-making facilities in the kitchens; toilet rolls instead of swabs - that sort of thing.

Fortunately this little box saved the day - soon after the x-ray machine was dispensed with, one of our staff stumbled across it as they were sweeping up patient detritus in the waiting room. Coincidentally, he had just cut his finger on a discarded scalpel and gladly made use of them as quickly as he could.

To all our amazement, when he peeled off the plaster to show us the gory details, there was NO WOUND AT ALL. It wasn't long before we put two and two together; now we use these little beauties for everything! Broken leg? Stick on a plaster! Funny rash - slap it on! Annoying voices in your head telling you to kill and bury the dog in the back garden? place one of these on your forehead and they're a thing of the past.

They not only provide the user with breathable padding, but also lend a sense of one-ness with the universe.

And don't worry about the pack running out - we've treated over 40 patients tonight, but strangely only one plaster has gone.

This could be the answer to the problem of the NHS. Thanks Amazon! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse | Permalink

Comment Comments (5)

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome, 25 July 2011

By Glenn Williams - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Jesus - first aid in a tin - plasters / band aids

Sometimes advances in medicine take your breath away (but luckily my Jesus Inhaler is never too far away when they do). Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse | Permalink

Comment Comment

11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Magic, 13 Jan 2011

By Lewton Wicks - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Jesus - first aid in a tin - plasters / band aids

I found this guy in a cave, with holes in his hands, and luckily I had some Jesus plasters on me. Applying the plasters at first didn't seem to do anything, but suddenly this dude just gets up and walks out. Didn't say thank you. Rude. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse | Permalink

Comment Comments (2)

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally, a universal weapon against atheism!, 21 Aug 2011

By Shopaholique (UK) - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Jesus - first aid in a tin - plasters / band aids

this has to be the greatest thing the world has seen for the past 2,000 years - and surely the one and only answer to that bloody good question posed by those pesky atheists: 'Why doesn't god heal amputees?' (well, a question better than all them ridiculous scientific explanations against the 'banana as proof of intelligent design' theory anyway...)

Like the good nurse above bore witness, finally the answer is here for the whole of christianity to behold. Just stick a Jesus plaster on any remains of any amputatated member and invite the whole world to see the long-awaited miracle finally happening. The leg / arm surely will grow back... Take that, you atheists you! Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse | Permalink

Comment Comment

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing, 2 Mar 2011

By kieran - See all my reviewsThis review is from: Jesus - first aid in a tin - plasters / band aids

I had previously suffered a shotgun blast to the head and the doctors said there was nothing they could do. Eventually I discovered these and within seconds of applying the small plaster to the huge hole in my head i was cured.

Praise the Lord and his mighty ways.

[choffer]

Bic Biro's are a popular review item on Amazon:

Worked fine with my right hand, but when I came to use my left hand my writing came out looking like the work of a complete imbecile. I can only assume Bic have created a right-handed only pen, and would caution left-handers to "try before you buy".

While this pen is functional and easy to use, a downside is it only supports one default font (that appears to be user specific?). I have tried multiple times to access Helvetica, Times New Roman, Impact etc. to no avail... I don't even see any input buttons.

The default font is pretty shoddy looking, resembling Comic Sans.

An update would be appreciated Bic!

Having unwrapped my new Bic pen from the two foot wide box Amazon sent it in, I happily started to write some memoirs in the A4 note pad I'd stolen from a small child earlier that day. With a bottle of Blue Nun and some sugar coated monkey nuts at my side, I set about penning my latest ode to existence, entitled 'If I Stick My Hand Up Here, Will My Dreams Come True?'.

For a blissful three hours the pen was wonderful. However as I wended my merry way into the fourth hour of composition, I noticed that the pen was no longer writing what I wanted it to! Instead of recounting the delightful time I went punting on the river with Reverend Chumley on that clear August day when the mescaline was really kicking in, it instead began to write out such odd epithets as: 'Bow to your lord and master Shaberoth, he of the tentacles and oddly shaped genitalia' & 'The sky will rain blood as Shaberoth comes down among you...and waves his oddly shaped genitalia'.

Imagine my surprise!

I was further amazed when said demon lord Shaberoth appeared from the end of the pen in a cloud of sulfur...and waved his oddly shaped genitalia at me. This didn't phase me, having played rugby in my younger days, and I subdued the hellspawn with large Blue Nun and all the monkey nuts he could eat.

So, while the pen did turn out to be possessed, a lovely evening was had by all - until Shaberoth ate my pet guinea pig Winklehoven. I had to kindly ask him to leave at that point.

Other than this slight problem, the pen was very reliable and I still have it.

I purchased this biro to test out the old adage that the pen is mightier than the sword. Having challenged a black belt Kendo champion to a fight I am now down to one arm and I think the bic got stepped on - so the old saying is a load of rubbish.

[islingtonclaret]

This game is the funniest thing I've seen on teh internets for a long time...

[islingtonclaret]

I got me one.

Bleak House - Charles Dickens.

3 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Urgh, 21 Mar 2009

By Nt Deregowski (Brazil) - See all my reviews

(REAL NAME) This review is from: Bleak House (Penguin Classics) (Paperback)

I couldn't read past the first page.

It immediately gives the tedious impression of book vastly in need of editing. There is scarely anything that is written on the first page that conuld not be expressed more concisely, and this to me was a bad sign: that the rest of the book would be even more verbose.

So I jumped ship.

I have a feeling that Dickens is really a writer that appeals to a very narrow sector fo the reading public, but that we've all been hood-winked into believing him to be accessable.

[mjmooney]

I got me one.

Bleak House - Charles Dickens.

3 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Urgh, 21 Mar 2009

By Nt Deregowski (Brazil) - See all my reviews

(REAL NAME) This review is from: Bleak House (Penguin Classics) (Paperback)

I couldn't read past the first page.

It immediately gives the tedious impression of book vastly in need of editing. There is scarely anything that is written on the first page that conuld not be expressed more concisely, and this to me was a bad sign: that the rest of the book would be even more verbose.

So I jumped ship.

I have a feeling that Dickens is really a writer that appeals to a very narrow sector fo the reading public, but that we've all been hood-winked into believing him to be accessable.

Nothing funny about that. My feelings in a nutshell.

[mjmooney]

[mjmooney]

[AshVilla]

What a strange thread quite a cooincidence actually as i was looking for a supplement this morning as a replacement to Maximuscle cyclone and came across this review which had me in stitches

PHD Synergy ISO-7

"This stuff is so damn good I sometimes get a handful and wipe it all over my ringpiece then my dog licks it off!”

[Stevo985]

Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

Why, why, why did Nintendo think it was okay to release this tedious, unfun game as it was. Many people have said that this is one of the best Zelda games ever. Did they even play it? I found the game to be completely boring. So much so that I stopped playing after I completed the first dungeon. I could have watched a film in that time.

[The_Rev]

I just realised that the item which started this game in the first place has not been mentioned yet. For shame.

Three Wolf Moon

It is the best selling item of clothing ever on Amazon, and it made the designer a lot more money that she ever dreamed of. It even has it's own page on Wikipedia. There are countless spin off designs, and I guess you know you have made it firmly into geek culture if you get a joke which references a meme.

I havent included any reviews btw. Click the link to go to the page, it's worth it.

[Stevo985]

Yeah, that wasn't really the game I intended, but the thread seems to have evolved into that so three wolves definitely deserve a mention!

[villa89]

Street cleaning simulator

Part of what makes this so spectacular is how unpredictable it is. When rounding a corner, you feel the tension as to what happens next. Will there be gum on the floor? Will a burger have been dropped? Has someone left a newspaper by the curb? I sometimes had to put the game down and go for a walk to calm myself. With such impressive and articulate missions such as "Clean the curb on Anderson street" and "Clean the curb in Market Way", it is obvious as to why you would play this game for hours at a time. On the mission "Clean the curb in Chinatown" there was a major plot twist - (WARNING: SPOILERS) there was actually different types of litter than in the rest of the game! Huge easter eggs like this make te game so worth it.

The only downside is that the street cleaners sometimes go so fast they make you feel sick. If you go up to the maximum speed of 6mph then you can get a bit queesy as the world hurtled by in a blur.

So I just got off a 4 day stint, working real hard cleaning the streets of Detroit of all its impurities. That's right, I'm an honest trash man. It's me you can thank for keeping Motor City a place that all of America can look up to. And when the day is done, what better way to spend my time than brushing up on the skills in a co-op game with my good buddy Russ. Now look, I don't want you all to get the wrong idea here. See, I don't always play simulators. Just ain't my thing. But Street Cleaning Simulator is just... different. The refuse animation engine they've got doing all the backend work is just about photo realistic. You can practically smell the streets, that's just how real it is. Does something for me. The boys at Central say there's talk of adding a couple Scania P270 side-loaders to our collection, come September, maybe sooner. First time I unlocked the P270, the little fuzzies all stood up. You know, the ones on the back of the neck. They all stood up at once - really was some feeling. Take it from a Pro, this here is more than just some simulator. It is a gateway to a way of life.

[islingtonclaret]

I got me one.

Bleak House - Charles Dickens.

3 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Urgh, 21 Mar 2009

By Nt Deregowski (Brazil) - See all my reviews

(REAL NAME) This review is from: Bleak House (Penguin Classics) (Paperback)

I couldn't read past the first page.

It immediately gives the tedious impression of book vastly in need of editing. There is scarely anything that is written on the first page that conuld not be expressed more concisely, and this to me was a bad sign: that the rest of the book would be even more verbose.

So I jumped ship.

I have a feeling that Dickens is really a writer that appeals to a very narrow sector fo the reading public, but that we've all been hood-winked into believing him to be accessable.

Nothing funny about that. My feelings in a nutshell.

It was more for the fact that he'd dismissed the entire book after the first page by which time he'd stopped. I don't think one page and then thinking "this is not for me" is a sufficient base for a review....

[mjmooney]

I got me one.

Bleak House - Charles Dickens.

3 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Urgh, 21 Mar 2009

By Nt Deregowski (Brazil) - See all my reviews

(REAL NAME) This review is from: Bleak House (Penguin Classics) (Paperback)

I couldn't read past the first page.

It immediately gives the tedious impression of book vastly in need of editing. There is scarely anything that is written on the first page that conuld not be expressed more concisely, and this to me was a bad sign: that the rest of the book would be even more verbose.

So I jumped ship.

I have a feeling that Dickens is really a writer that appeals to a very narrow sector fo the reading public, but that we've all been hood-winked into believing him to be accessable.

Nothing funny about that. My feelings in a nutshell.

It was more for the fact that he'd dismissed the entire book after the first page by which time he'd stopped. I don't think one page and then thinking "this is not for me" is a sufficient base for a review....

It is when it's by Charles **** Dickens.

[islingtonclaret]

ouch!

[Rodders]

The best reviews ever are for the world famous Paul Ross Canvas

"Don't buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn't stopped crying for a week. "

"I purchased this wonderous print almost 2 years ago & it means more to me than you can ever imagine.

In fact I recently had a horrific house fire & only had time to save 2 things - I chose this & one of the twins! "

[saturdaygig]

Following the tragic loss of my entire family, in a freak onion peeling accident, I was resigned to a diet of woodbines and white spirit. Fortunately for me I was plucked from the depths of dispair when one day, whilst rummaging through my local dump in search of unwanted chicken giblets, I unearthed a copy of "microwave for one".

from here

[MrDuck]

Reviews of the King James Bible...

This book really does have it all - Sex, murder, duplicity, magic-tricks, incest and ghosts! It's like a full season of Dynasty set a few thousand years ago with a guest appearance by Superman.

**SPOILER ALERT**

I was extremely disappointed when the hero dies prematurely however I will only say - keep reading, there's a surprise around the corner.

Bad points:

1. Whilst the lead character is from the middle-east it never explains why he has a Hispanic name.

2. It does seem to repeat itself a lot and I was constantly expecting the Charlton Heston character to return with super-powers like Jesus.

3. A bit depressing in the end - could do with a rewrite of the last few chapters, **SPOILER** the "everyone dies" scenario strikes me that the author ran out of ideas.

[Phumfeinz]

I just realised that the item which started this game in the first place has not been mentioned yet. For shame.

Three Wolf Moon

It is the best selling item of clothing ever on Amazon, and it made the designer a lot more money that she ever dreamed of. It even has it's own page on Wikipedia. There are countless spin off designs, and I guess you know you have made it firmly into geek culture if you get a joke which references a meme.

I havent included any reviews btw. Click the link to go to the page, it's worth it.

Haha god damn, that bloody t-shirt. There's a woman at my work who does wolf trust shit and has a first-aid certificate who would unironically wear that t-shirt.