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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad
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I'm not sure "but you said it was ok" is going to go down if (when) she changes her mind and feels betrayed, so the safest bet is taking her up on it but lying about it, not only getting his end away but appearing to be a caring and considerate husband. ;) 

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18 minutes ago, Follyfoot said:

Asking for a friend.......

He is in a loving caring relationship and really happy. His wife has just gone through the change and is on tablets for it and as a combination of the two has completely lost her sex drive. They have discussed the situation and she has no objection to him getting it elsewhere until her libido returns as long as he is discreet and careful and it is not with her younger sister (sigh) or one of her friends. He feels even though she has been so understanding it would be an act of betrayal to take her up on her offer but needs his release. Has anyone been in this situation or could maybe offer some advice I can give him as I am at a loss as to what to say. 

You could also play "Cock Hero" and see how long you can last. Plenty of videos are available (I think).

Google is your friend if you are puzzled.

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7 minutes ago, Wainy316 said:

How does "your mate" know anyone else is gonna want to shag him?

Successful guy, good looking has turned down dozens of offers from female staff (And the fact his misses was a co director) 

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6 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

It feels, if what Follyfoot is describing is to be took as true, my wife has been going through the change for the last 18 years. 

Cos you’ve been shagging her sister?

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56 minutes ago, Follyfoot said:

Asking for a friend.......

He is in a loving caring relationship and really happy. His wife has just gone through the change and is on tablets for it and as a combination of the two has completely lost her sex drive. They have discussed the situation and she has no objection to him getting it elsewhere until her libido returns as long as he is discreet and careful and it is not with her younger sister (sigh) or one of her friends. He feels even though she has been so understanding it would be an act of betrayal to take her up on her offer but needs his release. Has anyone been in this situation or could maybe offer some advice I can give him as I am at a loss as to what to say. 

The key is in bold. If the situation has been really and frankly discussed (not one person hinting at it but not really and trying to maintain plausible deniability later, but actually cards-on-the-table discussed) then this person has permission, and should feel free to use it.

Slightly disappointed at the number of responses saying this person shouldn't go through with it. Real relationships are complicated, and lifelong monogamy isn't for everybody. The wife may be doing the best that she can to help preserve the long-term future of the relationship by giving permission, and the long-term future of the relationship might be better secured if the husband does have sex with others, as long as they are clear and upfront about what they are doing.

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On 25/08/2021 at 19:04, Mark Albrighton said:

It’s a pretty shitty thing for her to do I think. 

Whether one should confess to an affair, or whether you keep quiet, leaving the other person in blissful ignorance and the person who had the liaison should quietly suffer the guilt…there are valid arguments to both sides.

But it’s certainly not the place for this woman to tell someone she doesn’t know. Especially as she knows a child is now involved. Spiteful.

A friend of mine had a knock on the door years ago watching tele with his wife who was six months pregnant with twins by his spurned knock off who had just found out she was pregnant as well by said fella. They split up 

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2 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

A standing cock has no conscience. That’s what my grandad always said to me.

I like the one “god gave men a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time”.

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4 hours ago, HanoiVillan said:

The key is in bold. If the situation has been really and frankly discussed (not one person hinting at it but not really and trying to maintain plausible deniability later, but actually cards-on-the-table discussed) then this person has permission, and should feel free to use it.

Slightly disappointed at the number of responses saying this person shouldn't go through with it. Real relationships are complicated, and lifelong monogamy isn't for everybody. The wife may be doing the best that she can to help preserve the long-term future of the relationship by giving permission, and the long-term future of the relationship might be better secured if the husband does have sex with others, as long as they are clear and upfront about what they are doing.

Valid points but, again, the key bit is in bold - why get married if lifelong monogamy isn't for you?

There is absolutely no good that can come from "I'm horny so I'll shag someone else", unless the situation happens to change the marriage entirely and they become swingers/have an "open" relationship and somehow this works and doesn't end up with one party getting jealous.

 

Would be interesting to know how the discussion came to a resolution of "go and shag someone else, but not my sister or my friends".  Is this something that he suggested?  Alarm bells, if so.

Edited by bobzy
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13 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

Urgh.

Men are repulsive sometimes.

With regards to my post, Im hoping it was plainly obvious I wasn’t being serious and it was purely for effect. I don’t think for a second anyone actually thought I was recommending him to do what I said? 

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2 minutes ago, Ingram85 said:

With regards to my post, Im hoping it was plainly obvious I wasn’t being serious and it was purely for effect. I don’t think for a second anyone actually thought I was recommending him to do what I said? 

Not you mate.

The situation.

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6 hours ago, Davkaus said:

I'm not sure "but you said it was ok" is going to go down if (when) she changes her mind and feels betrayed, so the safest bet is taking her up on it but lying about it, not only getting his end away but appearing to be a caring and considerate husband. ;) 

This kind of makes sense,  a bit of give-and-take. I will suggest this to him
 

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