Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

[Demitri_C]

2 hours ago, rodders0223 said:

Not going to lie to you, I miss you losers talking about your pathetic love life.

Makes me feel a lot better about mine..

Do tell. We want the goss

[Mark Albrighton]

I’m currently on a dating app (well two, actually). I gave it a go about six months ago, did manage to go on a date which was pleasant enough but it didn’t lead anywhere. I left because trying to arrange a date with another lockdown impending seemed somewhat tricky. Things reopening means I’ve decided to try again.

It’s alright, good things and bad things about it. I find if I send out likes or reactions to someone I like the look of and there’s no reply, after a while of that I can start to feel a bit like Joseph Merrick’s not so photogenic brother. Did receive a match request/like from someone who I was crazy about 15 years ago. Decided to decline - it took a decade and a half, but I did finally gain the upper hand in that dynamic.

I find you just have to keep expectations in check and also remind yourself that, like pretty much everything else, women will be experiencing the app differently - good and bad. An objectively attractive woman will be inundated with messages from decent fellas and creeps and as such there’s a chance that you’ll be lost among them all.

[Genie]

On the dating app thing there was an older lady at work who was telling me about her experience. She’s probably early 50’s and quite attractive. She said she constantly gets dick pics sent, pretty much every day.

I mean really, has that tactic ever worked? I bet 9 times out of 10 it’s not even the senders dick.

The comment from @Mark Albrighton made me think, as a guy an unexpected picture of tits or vag in the Mail is probably a perfect way to start a relationship. But women, I imagine it has the opposite effect.

[HanoiVillan]

48 minutes ago, Genie said:

On the dating app thing there was an older lady at work who was telling me about her experience. She’s probably early 50’s and quite attractive. She said she constantly gets dick pics sent, pretty much every day.

I mean really, has that tactic ever worked? I bet 9 times out of 10 it’s not even the senders dick.

The comment from @Mark Albrighton made me think, as a guy an unexpected picture of tits or vag in the Mail is probably a perfect way to start a relationship. But women, I imagine it has the opposite effect.

I've got to say, if a woman sent me a picture of her genitalia as part of an initial contact on an app, I would think she was an idiot and it would be a massive red flag.

I doubt there are many women who have ever thought to do that though, so it's a bit moot. It seems to be an almost exclusively male form of idiocy.

[Genie]

6 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said:

I've got to say, if a woman sent me a picture of her genitalia as part of an initial contact on an app, I would think she was an idiot and it would be a massive red flag.

I doubt there are many women who have ever thought to do that though, so it's a bit moot. It seems to be an almost exclusively male form of idiocy.

Yeah, I should have elaborated on it a bit more. As a guy if I got a random nude from a female I’d be quite pleased, but would rule that person out as a potential partner.

[fruitvilla]

3 minutes ago, Genie said:

Yeah, I should have elaborated on it a bit more. As a guy if I got a random nude from a female I’d be quite pleased, but would rule that person out as a potential partner.

OK? If this woman was intelligent, outgoing, attractive, liberated, had a sense of humour and sane, you would rule her out; because?

[HanoiVillan]

Just now, fruitvilla said:

OK? If this woman was intelligent, outgoing, attractive, liberated, had a sense of humour and sane, you would rule her out; because?

It's not 'intelligent' for a woman (or for a man) to send a naked photo of themselves to a complete stranger, as a first approach.

Doing that suggests you're either lacking a] intelligence, b] impulse control or maturity, or c] self-respect.

Talk a bit first, find out they're interested, get the impression they'd actually welcome a chance to see you naked, then send your naked photo. It's not a first move.

[Genie]

7 minutes ago, fruitvilla said:

OK? If this woman was intelligent, outgoing, attractive, liberated, had a sense of humour and sane, you would rule her out; because?

What @HanoiVillan said. That act would say a lot about the person without actually speaking a word.

[fruitvilla]

7 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said:

It's not 'intelligent' for a woman (or for a man) to send a naked photo of themselves to a complete stranger, as a first approach.

Doing that suggests you're either lacking a] intelligence, b] impulse control or maturity, or c] self-respect.

Talk a bit first, find out they're interested, get the impression they'd actually welcome a chance to see you naked, then send your naked photo. It's not a first move.

I get what you mean ... OK ... if someone makes a "mistake" does that make them unintelligent?. I've done some unintelligent stuff over my sixty odd years ... I don't think that in of itself makes me unintelligent. But based on experience I would be suspicious. If my marital status did not preclude it, and I was interested in that sort of thing, surely the intelligent thing would be to investigate.

Edited May 6, 2021 by fruitvilla

[fruitvilla]

2 minutes ago, Genie said:

What @HanoiVillan said. That act would say a lot about the person without actually speaking a word.

She was drunk and a girlfriend dared her to do it? 

[HanoiVillan]

1 minute ago, fruitvilla said:

I get what you mean ... OK ... if someone makes a "mistake" doe that make them unintelligent. I've done some unintelligent stuff over my sixty odd years ... I don't think that in of itself makes me unintelligent. But based on experience I would be suspicious. If my marital status did not preclude it, and I was interested in that sort of thing, surely the intelligent thing would be to investigate.

I take your point, but I think this is one of those situations where the old saying about only having one chance to make a first impression is very relevant.

[Genie]

1 minute ago, fruitvilla said:

She was drunk and a girlfriend dared her to do it? 

She needs to dare her friend to share her nudes to even it up

[fruitvilla]

3 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said:

I take your point, but I think this is one of those situations where the old saying about only having one chance to make a first impression is very relevant.

And that would say more about you than her?

 

2 minutes ago, Genie said:

She needs to dare her friend to share her nudes to even it up

But I hope you got my point?

Edited May 6, 2021 by fruitvilla

[snowychap]

2 hours ago, Mark Albrighton said:

women will be experiencing the app differently - good and bad

From what I've heard and discussed, women on dating apps and sites overwhelmingly get the bad. Over and over again. Disgraceful shite.

Occasionally they get the good. Be the good.

[HanoiVillan]

1 minute ago, fruitvilla said:

And that would say more about you than her?

Sure, I guess. It would say that I'm not interested in a woman who started our very first interaction by showing me her genitalia. Which was what I said in the first place.

Look, if it would rock your world, then fair play, don't let me interrupt. But I'm giving my opinion about how I would feel.

[Genie]

2 minutes ago, fruitvilla said:

But I hope you got my point?

I understand your point, but for me, the odds would be stacked well against her being my cup of tea.

[chrisp65]

OK, so long long ago I worked in a hotel, I worked the bar, I was the gofer, I worked as night porter.

Every once in a while, you’d get a hint of an offer something a little more than flirting.

Once in a blue moon, you’d get an absolute flat out offer of or request for sex.

For all our teenage male bravado, I don’t know one instance where a woman was successful in the full on direct approach with any one of us.

I guess when push came to shove, faced with a woman we didn’t know, we were scared / wary / choosey / suspicious.

That’s not to say people didn’t shag, it was a hotel. They just didn’t shag following the female equivalent of a dick pick.

 

 

[rjw63]

19 minutes ago, fruitvilla said:

And that would say more about you than her?

 

But I hope you got my point?

For some reason I find it strange that someone called Fruit is older than me.

You fruity olde ryddddeee

[rjw63]

Married women used to send me nudes on MySpace.

Shame they were all 3000+ miles away

[HanoiVillan]

3 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

Married women used to send me nudes on MySpace.

Shame they were all 3000+ miles away

That's weird, whenever I try to stream a Villa game there are no end of pictures of nearly-naked women poppig up on the screen, the majority of them apparently within the same postcode . . .