HanoiVillan Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 18 hours ago, Sam-AVFC said: Tell your soldiers to stand down boys. I’m afraid if I was a female it would not be attractive. I just used spinster because bachelor has connotations of an old homosexual. I always thought pople meant a homosexual if they called someone a 'confirmed bachelor' but for me 'bachelor' on its own just sounds like a playboy. Not to get all political and feminist and stuff, but there's a huge disparity between the connotations of 'bachelor' and those of 'spinster'. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 I got given the flick from a very, very short-lived relationship. Was told I'm a great guy yada-yada but that I'm not interested enough in her for it to work. Spent two hours on the phone telling her how I felt about her, where I thought we were good together, and listening to her take on what she was on about, which was interesting because essentially she's telling me about my own thoughts and feelings in saying that I don't have enough interest in her for the relationship to work. After a while I thought, you know what? If she's not feeling the love she needs then who am I to do anything but respect her feelings. She declined my offer to rectify things by making a concerted effort to rekindle and build on the things which attracted her to the relationship in the beginning. Messaged her the other day to check in with her. No reply. Ah well, not to be.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 Women are complicated imo, they seem to be massively turned off by being told that you’re really into them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 (edited) The old cynic that I am thinks that she's got a new bloke lined up and not only is she dumping you but seems like she's turning the blame on YOU for not being interested enough in her ! I hope I'm wrong but I've seen that "reason" given before. The fact that she didn't reply to your message kinda makes me think that even more. Edited February 15, 2020 by mottaloo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saturdaygig Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 On 14/02/2020 at 17:43, mottaloo said: Bachelor, you say ? There can be only one : Peter Wyngarde. He looked cool at the time but wow, he looks creepy now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 7 hours ago, saturdaygig said: Peter Wyngarde. He looked cool at the time but wow, he looks creepy now. Different times, but the song he recorded about rape is...interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KentVillan Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 On 15/02/2020 at 17:38, A'Villan said: I got given the flick from a very, very short-lived relationship. Was told I'm a great guy yada-yada but that I'm not interested enough in her for it to work. Spent two hours on the phone telling her how I felt about her, where I thought we were good together, and listening to her take on what she was on about, which was interesting because essentially she's telling me about my own thoughts and feelings in saying that I don't have enough interest in her for the relationship to work. After a while I thought, you know what? If she's not feeling the love she needs then who am I to do anything but respect her feelings. She declined my offer to rectify things by making a concerted effort to rekindle and build on the things which attracted her to the relationship in the beginning. Messaged her the other day to check in with her. No reply. Ah well, not to be.. Dumping is a minefield. Men usually want to be shot cleanly through the heart after a simple judgment is passed "YOU ARE GUILTY OF HAVING GINGER HAIR AND A MICROPENIS." *BANG* Women prefer to spend five hours rolling smoke bombs and flashbangs under your feet, before stabbing you once in the leg and holding you in their arms as you bleed out, credits rolling. "I loved you, I truly loved you. But 'twas not meant to be, my darling." 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) On 17/02/2020 at 12:24, KentVillan said: Dumping is a minefield. Men usually want to be shot cleanly through the heart after a simple judgment is passed "YOU ARE GUILTY OF HAVING GINGER HAIR AND A MICROPENIS." *BANG* Women prefer to spend five hours rolling smoke bombs and flashbangs under your feet, before stabbing you once in the leg and holding you in their arms as you bleed out, credits rolling. "I loved you, I truly loved you. But 'twas not meant to be, my darling." Great post, took me a while to accept it as it was intended though, as a joke. Tangent alert. To be fair to that girl, she was not one for drama or leading anyone astray, it was me who initially engaged the conversation that would end up being two hours of back and forth. I'm not in any sort of regretful or lamenting state about her, but in hindsight, I can see how she felt and therefore how she thought about me in regards to a relationship. After coming on strong and stating her affections to the point I openly questioned if she was perhaps over eager, I can see how from the get-go she'd get the impression maybe I didn't feel the same. I'm not sure she was aware that I was just trying to look out for the both of us, hasty judgements and decisions are a recipe for disappointment and misunderstanding. She has a lot going for her, a beautiful human. I feel like her insecurities surrounding not having had a family by 30 were probably the only thing holding her back from being at her best. I truly was attracted to her, interested in her and excited about the potential of the relationship. I was perhaps also careful to stay grounded and keep things in perspective, which admittedly doesn't represent the common idea of romance, but in my heart and mind representing what's true of you, is being truly romantic, as it represents what's in your heart and mind, genuinely. Telling someone what they want to hear in order to receive what you want from them only lasts as long as the facade remains unveiled. "Castles made of sand, fall in the sea, eventually" Ironic given that my relationship to this girl ended before it took off. Edited February 27, 2020 by A'Villan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KentVillan Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 9 hours ago, A'Villan said: Great post, took me a while to accept it as it was intended though, as a joke. Tangent alert. To be fair to that girl, she was not one for drama or leading anyone astray, it was me who initially engaged the conversation that would end up being two hours of back and forth. I'm not in any sort of regretful or lamenting state about her, but in hindsight, I can see how she felt and therefore how she thought about me in regards to a relationship. After coming on strong and stating her affections to the point I openly questioned if she was perhaps over eager, I can see how from the get-go she'd get the impression maybe I didn't feel the same. I'm not sure she was aware that I was just trying to look out for the both of us, hasty judgements and decisions are a recipe for disappointment and misunderstanding. She has a lot going for her, a beautiful human. I feel like her insecurities surrounding not having had a family by 30 were probably the only thing holding her back from being at her best. I truly was attracted to her, interested in her and excited about the potential of the relationship. I was perhaps also careful to stay grounded and keep things in perspective, which admittedly doesn't represent the common idea of romance, but in my heart and mind representing what's true of you, is being truly romantic, as it represents what's in your heart and mind, genuinely. Telling someone what they want to hear in order to receive what you want from them only lasts as long as the facade remains unveiled. "Castles made of sand, fall in the sea, eventually" Ironic given that my relationship to this girl ended before it took off. Apologies if the joke was a bit too soon. IMO you're overthinking this situation. I used to kick myself about a brief relationship I had a few years back, which fizzled out because I played it too cool and something similar to the above happened. She felt I wasn't interested in her, I was actually really keen but didn't want to show it. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and let your feelings show to some extent. (And it's worth bearing in mind, that sometimes how you think you feel isn't the same as how you truly feel deep down, and other people can pick up on it before you do. She may have been right, and doing you a favour. Or maybe she's self-sabotaging because of paranoia, anxiety, whatever. Or maybe she's lying for reasons unknown. Who knows? Best thing is to move on and not dwell on it too much. Easier said than done, of course.) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rodders0223 Posted February 27, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted February 27, 2020 Far too much reflection going on here, I always work on the simple rule that if you get binned you are too big and she likes women. 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 34 minutes ago, KentVillan said: Apologies if the joke was a bit too soon. IMO you're overthinking this situation. I used to kick myself about a brief relationship I had a few years back, which fizzled out because I played it too cool and something similar to the above happened. She felt I wasn't interested in her, I was actually really keen but didn't want to show it. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and let your feelings show to some extent. (And it's worth bearing in mind, that sometimes how you think you feel isn't the same as how you truly feel deep down, and other people can pick up on it before you do. She may have been right, and doing you a favour. Or maybe she's self-sabotaging because of paranoia, anxiety, whatever. Or maybe she's lying for reasons unknown. Who knows? Best thing is to move on and not dwell on it too much. Easier said than done, of course.) No, cracking a smile is always timely. I'm not sure if I'm overthinking it but I appreciate the sentiment and your message, because you are right about there being a risk of ruminating on something no longer a worthy investment of my time and energy. I think it was a myriad of factors, but as with all failures the underlying theme is misunderstanding. I've been told by those who love me dearest that I can be quite serious and demanding of others concentration, and I think I showed that side of myself to this girl instead of just 'going with the flow'. I'm quite headstrong and unless I'm being stubborn or egotistical about something I consider it a strength. You're also right in that I don't know beyond my own intuition, my powers of observation and discernment, and my ability to reflect and introspect, what was going on for each of us moment by moment and where whatever potential their was diminished. I don't like promises because in the blink of an eye the world changes. Just about the only universal promise is that we don't know when our time comes. So without promising myself, I am making a concerted effort to show kindness, trust, faith and forgiveness where I can. Ruing what can not be undone isn't the aim of my thinking here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted February 28, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted February 28, 2020 OK, so someone has to say it: I think by saying you weren’t interested enough in her she really meant she got tired of waiting for you to DHUTWU. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dante_Lockhart Posted March 10, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2020 Thought I might as well drop in and give you an update as to my relationship. A short 8 years ago I posted in here about meeting a girl on eHarmony. She was a model/stripper. I'm sure some of you remember the early days. Well, we're still married, have a 5 year old, a house and mortgage and she's now a gardener and volunteers at his school doing a gardening club. Happy and very much in love (even if we do drive each other mad). 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbojangles Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 (edited) 33 years old and been with my new lady friend for 8 months now (known each other for 9 years though). I have a little lad from a previous relationship and in the past have not shown my feelings enough. decided this time i would learn from my mistakes I tell her she is beautiful and loved every day, I buy her flowers and favourite chocolates almost every other week. She in turn does pretty much the same but with pastries My only advice to anyone is if you find someone that you are lucky enough to love is to not be afraid to show them and tell them how you feel, always try and smile and sometimes just agree to disagree. Life is too short to argue Edited March 10, 2020 by mrbojangles 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 In my current case, difficult to agree to disagree when my opinion means we go on holiday (Gran Canaria) and hers means we stay at home and lose hundreds of quid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted March 10, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted March 10, 2020 37 minutes ago, Dante_Lockhart said: Thought I might as well drop in and give you an update as to my relationship. A short 8 years ago I posted in here about meeting a girl on eHarmony. She was a model/stripper. I'm sure some of you remember the early days. Well, we're still married, have a 5 year old, a house and mortgage and she's now a gardener and volunteers at his school doing a gardening club. Happy and very much in love (even if we do drive each other mad). I can't **** believe that was 8 years ago! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 18 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: I can't **** believe that was 8 years ago! Tell me about it. Scary fast. I still remember all the anxiety early on >_< 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 My only relationship problem is that my wife understands me. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 10, 2020 Moderator Share Posted March 10, 2020 Saw this and thought of you ... Quote Tens Of Thousands Join New Dating Website For Men With Small Penises A new dating site has been launched with one simple mission - 'to connect those with a smaller penis to those who prefer one'. It goes without saying that in our society bigger is generally considering better, but then again we also like to think there is someone for everyone, and dinky ONE is hoping it will provide a perfect platform for those who have or crave a smaller appendage. The site is totally free to join for people of all sexes and genders - the only requirement is that men's penises are smaller than the erect average of about 5.5 inches (14 cm). Touch right here to make it longer... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 (edited) As I’ve told you before, what you’ve got to remember when I send you photos is that I’ve got really big hands. Edited March 10, 2020 by chrisp65 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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