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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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31 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

That seems to be the mentality of some people. And I won't say women because I"m sure some blokes are the same.

Basically they can be upset and moody about anything they want at any time. They don't see how weird and upsetting it is for you to one minute seem fine and the next minute be in the doghouse for something that never even happened.

Yet if you get upset or moody about anything they kick off.

Said it before but I genuinely see it as abusive. It's mental torture. Do what I want or else.

That sort of behaviour is, I think it's a sign of borderline personality disorder. 

As bad as it sounds, one of the last things you want to do is enter into a serious relationship with someone who has a mental illness. I've been there at it was the most miserable experience of my life.

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4 minutes ago, Xela said:

I genuinely would rather be on my own than in a relationship which had mind games in it. I'm very comfortable with my own company though, I know a lot of people aren't and feel they need to be in a relationship to have any worth as a person. 

Hmmm. I know what you mean, but... part of being in a relationship is learning to deal with those things. It's the price you pay for the benefits of companionship. If you're unlucky, or you're just plain incompatible with that person, then sure, the game's not worth the candle. But a relationship that has some difficulties that you learn to cope with probably makes you a better person in the long run than being alone, and having a superficially 'easy' life. I've been married 37 years, and you can bet there are days when I fantasise how great it would be to live the single life. And I'm sure my missus feels the same. But I know damn well that the reality would be different. No amount of 'freedom' would make up for the creeping loneliness. I'm an only child, and I've always been OK with my own company - there's nothing I enjoy more than a day free to do what I want - but permanently? Day in, day out? The novelty would soon wear off, and I'd start to miss even the irritating bits. My wife has a single friend who's been on her own for years. She's a nice enough person, quite presentable looking, and she claims she'd love to be with a bloke again. But she's crazily picky - nobody is good enough, especially if they don't fit in with her almost neurotic obsessions and tastes. She's incapable of the give-and-take compromises that being in a couple entails. So she's stuck on her own, grumbling about it. 

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20 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Hmmm. I know what you mean, but... part of being in a relationship is learning to deal with those things. It's the price you pay for the benefits of companionship. If you're unlucky, or you're just plain incompatible with that person, then sure, the game's not worth the candle. But a relationship that has some difficulties that you learn to cope with probably makes you a better person in the long run than being alone, and having a superficially 'easy' life. I've been married 37 years, and you can bet there are days when I fantasise how great it would be to live the single life. And I'm sure my missus feels the same. But I know damn well that the reality would be different. No amount of 'freedom' would make up for the creeping loneliness. I'm an only child, and I've always been OK with my own company - there's nothing I enjoy more than a day free to do what I want - but permanently? Day in, day out? The novelty would soon wear off, and I'd start to miss even the irritating bits. My wife has a single friend who's been on her own for years. She's a nice enough person, quite presentable looking, and she claims she'd love to be with a bloke again. But she's crazily picky - nobody is good enough, especially if they don't fit in with her almost neurotic obsessions and tastes. She's incapable of the give-and-take compromises that being in a couple entails. So she's stuck on her own, grumbling about it. 

Are you basically saying Xela should hook up with this single friend of your wife? 

 

Only my child here too, and I’ve always been happy in my own company. If me and the missus broke up I’m not sure how I’d feel in terms of wanting to be single or not, but I certainly don’t have to be with someone to make me feel better. I know people who cannot be on their own. Quite sad really. 

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Just now, Rugeley Villa said:

You listen to that crap? 

Great albums!

Saw em live at the Slade Rooms a few years back, met the vocalist after, nice dude

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25 minutes ago, Dr_Pangloss said:

That sort of behaviour is, I think it's a sign of borderline personality disorder. 

As bad as it sounds, one of the last things you want to do is enter into a serious relationship with someone who has a mental illness. I've been there at it was the most miserable experience of my life.

My wife got diagnosed a few months back with Emotional Personality Disorder. She lost the plot a few months back and had to go to a specialised place for a couple of weeks. It’s certainly not easy. 

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1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

He looks like Jim Morrison circa 1971 

Which one? Dunno who the other bloke is, but he's too skinny to be the late Jim Morrison. In fact Rob looks more like Mr Mojo Risin', what with the beard an' all. 

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17 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Which one? Dunno who the other bloke is, but he's too skinny to be the late Jim Morrison. In fact Rob looks more like Mr Mojo Risin', what with the beard an' all. 

I was being sarcastic mike. I was making out rob was the skinny one and the Jim Morrison looking type was the singer . 

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7 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Xela,  mine will also wake up in a mardy if she’s had dreams that I’ve been cheating on her. Not to the extent that Mike describes mind. I always just say “Chance would be a fine thing” which doesn’t cheer her up too much. 

 

BAEE5692-7A2A-4C29-800F-83C7CEA549A6.jpeg

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5 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Are you basically saying Xela should hook up with this single friend of your wife? 

Well she's 65, but she's very keen on younger blokes (which maybe one of her problems). 

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1 hour ago, chrisp65 said:

I’ve got a good buddie that for years was ‘single but looking’ and he basically wanted a big titted young beauty that could cook with one hand and wank him off with the other whilst she paid for surprise holidays.

Yep. My wife's mate is the exact female equivalent of that. She's going to have to lower her standards, or give up. 

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3 hours ago, Davkaus said:

Been with my other half for 3 years next month.

Last night, we went to a Stewart Lee gig (paging @tonyh29 :P), it was a great night out. We met for the first time after chatting online for a few days and I mentioned I had a spare ticket to his show in 2017. We were at the same venue, sat in the same seats.

We had a chat with him afterwards, I told him the story, thanked him for playing a small part in bringing us together, mentioned we were getting married in a few months and he gave us a free dvd of his last tour and signed it wishing us a happy marriage.

Top night, and he's a bloody nice bloke. 

Terry Christian has let himself go 

 

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