kidlewis Posted January 28, 2020 Share Posted January 28, 2020 3 hours ago, chrisp65 said: My absolute ‘go to’ if I want to trigger someone. Just after Christmas some woman pushed in front of my nipper to get in a lift. I blocked her and told her ‘calm down love, we’ll all be at the shops quick enough’. My nipper later complimented me on the addition of ‘love’. If you want to upgrade try “wind ya neck in” that’s nuclear 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted January 29, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted January 29, 2020 I'm not allowed to disagree with my wife. Unless I eventually come around to her point of view. If I start using logic to convince her why I'm right it quickly changes from a disagreement and debate into me being a bad guy. Luckily, I don't seem to have as great a need as her to fight every battle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 29, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted January 29, 2020 3 hours ago, il_serpente said: I'm not allowed to disagree with my wife. Unless I eventually come around to her point of view. If I start using logic to convince her why I'm right it quickly changes from a disagreement and debate into me being a bad guy. Luckily, I don't seem to have as great a need as her to fight every battle. I'm on one about this ex now. If I did the bit in bold then it was me being self righteous and superior, thinking I'm right. Obviously I think I'm right. Why would I think something if I thought it was wrong? Everybody thinks they're right until someone shows them theyr'e wrong. Apart from women. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 29, 2020 Share Posted January 29, 2020 I use neutralising techniques like asking her to explain what I've done pr if we can be civil with each other, because getting angry with one another doesn't help anyone. I've often had to "tread on eggshells" with my wife because she suffers with anxiety a little at times, which is heightened under stress. Coupled with being very smart and she has a crystal clear memory of everything she has done and said (oh how I wish I could remember what I said about something 5 mins ago), means that often times, even when I think I've done the right thing, I could have done it or said it better. I think I was 28 before I realised that my words could seriously affect other people. I've always had the facade of "I don't give a shit about anything and I'll say what I want", but at 28 I realised that words and how you put them together can be pretty damaging. In an argument, I'd say "can you stop being mental?" or "you're crazy" - which used to make any argument or disagreement 10 times worse. Turns out that she often felt like she was actually a bit crazy and being told that in a fight really hurt her. I think we actually manage each other quite well nowadays. We've a 5 year old and a 8 month old so mornings now she's started back at work after Xmas are proving to be stress hot spots, but even this morning we spoke about how we can get the kids to nursery/school easier and less stress-fully. My 5 year old has to go to before and after school clubs now, which he doesn't particularly enjoy, and he doesn't really understand time constraints and how being late for work doesn't benefit him, so him digging his heels on a morning can become quite irksome! I'd recommend for anyone who is continually stressed and being run down that you book something, so you can focus on that - have something to look forward to. Doesn't matter what, but a holiday or a weekend planned for a few months time can give you a lot distraction. Little things go a long way. I'm terrible at seeing jobs that need doing and I'm really working on checking the washing bin on a night and throwing a load into the washing machine, or getting the kids bags ready for tomorrow, or sterilising bottles, putting shit away, keeping the bog clean - anything that takes the burden off (or just sharing the burden as it should be) is really noticed. Take care of yourself, and each other.. Next time on Uncle Lap - how approach the subject of anal - for the husband 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted January 29, 2020 Share Posted January 29, 2020 14 hours ago, Xela said: I've been in too many of those types of relationships. Maybe opposites attract but I always seem to attract the drama queen. Of course, the drama is well hidden to begin with but it soon manifests itself. I have a stressful enough job without having to tread on eggshells at home. Now I have a zero tolerance to behaviour like that. I read somewhere that a lot of women thrive on conflict, so even if everything is going well they will throw a shit test bomb in to mix things up. Must give them an endorphin rush! Oh sorry, i assumed you meant : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wazzap24 Posted January 29, 2020 Share Posted January 29, 2020 2 hours ago, lapal_fan said: I use neutralising techniques like asking her to explain what I've done pr if we can be civil with each other, because getting angry with one another doesn't help anyone. I've often had to "tread on eggshells" with my wife because she suffers with anxiety a little at times, which is heightened under stress. Coupled with being very smart and she has a crystal clear memory of everything she has done and said (oh how I wish I could remember what I said about something 5 mins ago), means that often times, even when I think I've done the right thing, I could have done it or said it better. I think I was 28 before I realised that my words could seriously affect other people. I've always had the facade of "I don't give a shit about anything and I'll say what I want", but at 28 I realised that words and how you put them together can be pretty damaging. In an argument, I'd say "can you stop being mental?" or "you're crazy" - which used to make any argument or disagreement 10 times worse. Turns out that she often felt like she was actually a bit crazy and being told that in a fight really hurt her. I think we actually manage each other quite well nowadays. We've a 5 year old and a 8 month old so mornings now she's started back at work after Xmas are proving to be stress hot spots, but even this morning we spoke about how we can get the kids to nursery/school easier and less stress-fully. My 5 year old has to go to before and after school clubs now, which he doesn't particularly enjoy, and he doesn't really understand time constraints and how being late for work doesn't benefit him, so him digging his heels on a morning can become quite irksome! I'd recommend for anyone who is continually stressed and being run down that you book something, so you can focus on that - have something to look forward to. Doesn't matter what, but a holiday or a weekend planned for a few months time can give you a lot distraction. Little things go a long way. I'm terrible at seeing jobs that need doing and I'm really working on checking the washing bin on a night and throwing a load into the washing machine, or getting the kids bags ready for tomorrow, or sterilising bottles, putting shit away, keeping the bog clean - anything that takes the burden off (or just sharing the burden as it should be) is really noticed. Take care of yourself, and each other.. Next time on Uncle Lap - how approach the subject of anal - for the husband Me too. Chloroform works best 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wazzap24 Posted January 29, 2020 Share Posted January 29, 2020 On 28/01/2020 at 11:41, Tegis said: And these. I'm convinced they are a big part of perfectly good relationships going down the drain. Stuffing a hormone bomb into a person already dealing with mood-swings during menstrual cycles just can't be good My Mrs has been using that coil thingy for the past decade and it was a marked improvement over the pill. You can still notice the ‘cycle’. In any 4 weeks there are 2 weeks of ‘normal’, a week of moodiness and a week where the baby making hormone must be present and she’s actually quite nice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 On 28/01/2020 at 08:29, Rugeley Villa said: When I get told to shut up or go away. That boils my piss . When did Henry learn to speak? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 On 28/01/2020 at 09:56, Villan_of_oz said: They get upset ...... You apologise You get upset ....... They get upset ....... You apologise. She knows damn well it's the truth too I used to have this situation a lot, it was basically I could not win whatever I said or did. I’d offer to take her out for a date night, “no not in the mood”, a week later “you never take me out anymore”, next day I offer to take her out (she worked shifts), she would’ve had the day off work and not in for a week, “do I look like I’m dressed to go out, you could’ve text me earlier”, my response was to say you don’t normally reply when I’m at work and you’re catching up on sleep “well you could’ve tried” On 28/01/2020 at 10:12, Stevo985 said: If she was angry about something, she'd be moody and horrible and argumentative. And she'd excuse any behaviour because "she was upset" so basically it doesn't matter if she was horrible, she was upset so it's ok. Kind of annoyed me because I'm not wired that way, but whatever. I can understand it. asking her to explain what I've done pr if we can be civil with each other, because getting angry with one another doesn't help anyone. On 29/01/2020 at 09:56, lapal_fan said: In an argument, I'd say "can you stop being mental?" or "you're crazy" - which used to make any argument or disagreement 10 times worse. Turns out that she often felt like she was actually a bit crazy and being told that in a fight really hurt her. (Quotes not working properly) in response to Stevo quote: Same girl as mentioned above, woke up one morning and plain blankly just refused to speak to me. Eventually at work during the day I got a text saying “can’t believe what you did last night”.... I racked my brain for hours trying to think what I’d done (knowing we’d gone to sleep on good terms). Despite me texting and asking what was wrong I didn’t get a response. Walked in on the evening for her to completely ignore me all evening. Eventually the next day she’d say “you really pissed me off yesterday and you haven’t apologised” again I asked what I’d done, “I had a dream you cheated on me” asking how I could apologise about some fictional thing that I could have no knowledge about, was seemingly totally unreasonable. Lapal fan: When we would get into an argument, I would occasionally say, stop being childish, to which she’d respond “well you’re the one who chose to go out with someone 7 years younger than you, so thats why you think I’m a child”, No, there’s a clear difference between a child and acting childish, you are still in your mid 20’s, I expect you to act like an adult.... And I wonder why I’ve been single for 5 years, similar to what Xela said, I have little tolerance to bullshit drama these days, and so when approaching someone new I’m very closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 6 minutes ago, mikeyp102 said: Same girl as mentioned above, woke up one morning and plain blankly just refused to speak to me. Eventually at work during the day I got a text saying “can’t believe what you did last night”.... I racked my brain for hours trying to think what I’d done (knowing we’d gone to sleep on good terms). Despite me texting and asking what was wrong I didn’t get a response. Walked in on the evening for her to completely ignore me all evening. Eventually the next day she’d say “you really pissed me off yesterday and you haven’t apologised” again I asked what I’d done, “I had a dream you cheated on me” asking how I could apologise about some fictional thing that I could have no knowledge about, was seemingly totally unreasonable. That is mental. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan_of_oz Posted February 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2020 (edited) She has let me play Xbox all day and brought me lunch so she is forgiven like I said my wife is a handful but in general she is pretty awesome Edited February 1, 2020 by Villan_of_oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 I’ve always thought relationships were a Love/Hate kind of thing anyway . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 7 hours ago, Xela said: That is mental. Xela, mine will also wake up in a mardy if she’s had dreams that I’ve been cheating on her. Not to the extent that Mike describes mind. I always just say “Chance would be a fine thing” which doesn’t cheer her up too much. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 3 hours ago, Villan_of_oz said: She has let me play Xbox all day and brought me lunch so she is forgiven like I said my wife is a handful but in general she is pretty awesome Thats ok then. Like when a bloke batters his missus then makes her cup of tea and buys her a bit of jewellery from Argos! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 4 minutes ago, Xela said: Thats ok then. Like when a bloke batters his missus then makes her cup of tea and buys her a bit of jewellery from Argos! Does the trick every time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 3 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said: I’ve always thought relationships were a Love/Hate kind of thing anyway . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted February 1, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted February 1, 2020 11 hours ago, mikeyp102 said: I used to have this situation a lot, it was basically I could not win whatever I said or did. I’d offer to take her out for a date night, “no not in the mood”, a week later “you never take me out anymore”, next day I offer to take her out (she worked shifts), she would’ve had the day off work and not in for a week, “do I look like I’m dressed to go out, you could’ve text me earlier”, my response was to say you don’t normally reply when I’m at work and you’re catching up on sleep “well you could’ve tried” (Quotes not working properly) in response to Stevo quote: Same girl as mentioned above, woke up one morning and plain blankly just refused to speak to me. Eventually at work during the day I got a text saying “can’t believe what you did last night”.... I racked my brain for hours trying to think what I’d done (knowing we’d gone to sleep on good terms). Despite me texting and asking what was wrong I didn’t get a response. Walked in on the evening for her to completely ignore me all evening. Eventually the next day she’d say “you really pissed me off yesterday and you haven’t apologised” again I asked what I’d done, “I had a dream you cheated on me” asking how I could apologise about some fictional thing that I could have no knowledge about, was seemingly totally unreasonable. Lapal fan: When we would get into an argument, I would occasionally say, stop being childish, to which she’d respond “well you’re the one who chose to go out with someone 7 years younger than you, so thats why you think I’m a child”, No, there’s a clear difference between a child and acting childish, you are still in your mid 20’s, I expect you to act like an adult.... And I wonder why I’ve been single for 5 years, similar to what Xela said, I have little tolerance to bullshit drama these days, and so when approaching someone new I’m very closed. That seems to be the mentality of some people. And I won't say women because I"m sure some blokes are the same. Basically they can be upset and moody about anything they want at any time. They don't see how weird and upsetting it is for you to one minute seem fine and the next minute be in the doghouse for something that never even happened. Yet if you get upset or moody about anything they kick off. Said it before but I genuinely see it as abusive. It's mental torture. Do what I want or else. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 11 hours ago, mikeyp102 said: And I wonder why I’ve been single for 5 years, similar to what Xela said, I have little tolerance to bullshit drama these days, and so when approaching someone new I’m very closed. I genuinely would rather be on my own than in a relationship which had mind games in it. I'm very comfortable with my own company though, I know a lot of people aren't and feel they need to be in a relationship to have any worth as a person. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 (edited) Relationships are like minefields in my experience . Edited February 1, 2020 by Rugeley Villa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: Awful American shite 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts