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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

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7 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

I remember being out for a pint with a fairly elderly relative, and in having a conversation with him I clocked that his eyes flicked to every female that walked in the pub, every low top every decent arse in jeans.

I remember thinking, jeebus, it never ends, you don’t get to a.point where you can just bloody relax.

Don’t take my word as any sort of expert on anything. I’m in my 50’s and I’ve been married since my 20’s. You haven’t described anything particularly unusual as yet.

Or, I’m also a sex pest. 😀

 

FFS, don’t say that 🤦‍♂️😀

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My sex drive is very up and down but more often down than up. Number of reasons for it I suppose. I’ve also noticed over the last couple of years that I don’t last long anymore where as I used to last for ages. Too much information I know 🙂

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1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

My sex drive is very up and down

That’s the basics covered.

Next week we’ll go over some enhanced techniques.

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3 hours ago, wazzap24 said:

My sex drive is too high and it’s getting on my nerves. I’m at the point where I’m considering going the docs to see if I can get put on anti-depressants because I’ve heard they kill it off? 

I’m 40 and it’s higher than it was in my 20’s. If I have to go more than a week without, it’s constantly on my mind and as I’ve been married for nearly 18 years, that’s more of a calorie controlled diet than an all you can eat buffet these days. 

Surely it should be on the wane by now? It’s genuinely pissing me off. 

Get used to it.

I'm 56 and 4 or 5 times a week is still the norm. I used to be worse though so it does slow a little.

You'll be OK by the time you're 75 ;)

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11 hours ago, rjw63 said:

Get used to it.

I'm 56 and 4 or 5 times a week is still the norm. I used to be worse though so it does slow a little.

You'll be OK by the time you're 75 ;)

Alpha male aint ya 

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Does anyone else on here have something that their partner says that sets you right off.....

Anytime I tell me my wife anything she doesn't want to hear she tells me to grow up.... Sounds silly but she has said that many times that I can't take it.

We were seperated for 6 months last year but sorted it out and things have been really good for the last 5 months. 

Anyhow we just had a disagreement and as I walked off she said "grow up" and I just lost it!

Now I know I'm the wrong for losing my cool, but she promised she wouldn't say it anymore. I want to apologise for the way I spoke to her but I know she won't apologise or see anything wrong with what she did.

I'm a stepdad to her 2 kids and in these moments I feel really isolated as they obviously will gravitate towards her.

They're inside eating dinner and I'm out the back having a beer because I don't want to be anywhere near her. Unfortunately I'm not one of these awesome humans who are calm all the time. I wear my heart on my sleeve and show my raft of emotions (as you've probably seen through my VT posts 😂).

I know "grow up" is just two words but she literally says it everytime we argue as a way of dismissing me and my feelings.

Please, can someone rational thinking tell me if I'm being a massive bellend or do I have a point 😔

Edited by Villan_of_oz

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3 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

If it pisses you off and she knows it, you have a valid point.

DHUTWU, with no lube.

Thank you, you have no idea how much I needed to laugh. 

I might just take your advice 🤫

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I used to be quite ragey when I was young, would fly off the handle at the slightest thing. Something like grow up would certainly be a catalyst for telling my wife to go away. Now, and this isnt a joke, I have grown up and comments like that no longer enrage me. Instead of it pushing you, stand back, assess things and think if it's me being petulant, calm the **** down, if it's her, then I silently have the higher ground. In the end, look from the outside, is this worth an argument. 

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33 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

If it pisses you off and she knows it, you have a valid point.

This.

If you've asked her not to say it and she knows it pisses you off then she's doing it deliberately because she knows you hate it.

I hardly ever get annoyed at my OH, to be honest I rarely get annoyed at anyone, but if she does something that she knows I hate and I've asked her not to do then I'll kick off a bit. Doesn't matter what it is, if you don't like it she shouldn't do it

 

Not saying you should fly off the handle, but you have every right to be pissed off about it.

Edited by Stevo985

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7 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

This.

If you've asked her not to say it and she knows it pisses you off then she's doing it deliberately because she knows you hate it.

I hardly ever get annoyed at my OH, to be honest I rarely get annoyed at anyone, but if she does something that she knows I hate and I've asked her not to do then I'll kick off a bit. Doesn't matter what it is, if you don't like it she shouldn't do it

 

Not saying you should fly off the handle, but you have every right to be pissed off about it.

I freely admit that my anger can flicker pretty quickly, through my 20's I let it run riot but after seeing the hurt I could do I have spent the best part of 10 years trying to be a better person. I still run my mouth from time to time (as you all have seen on VT) but I also think I'm pretty good at putting my hand up and saying Ive been a dick.

I know I'll die still trying but I won't give up, I guess I just figured if there is one person in the world who would know how hard I try, would be my wife.

She also doesn't do apologies which doubles the problem. 

I get quite down when I act like this as I'm the type of person who you could quite easily dislike but if you get to know me I think I'm a pretty decent person.

She knows this but she won't approach me she will just hold out until I buckle and say it's all my fault. I'm in no mood to make such a concession at this point though.

I wish I was calm and rational and level headed but I'm me, for better or worse.

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1 minute ago, Villan_of_oz said:

I freely admit that my anger can flicker pretty quickly, through my 20's I let it run riot but after seeing the hurt I could do I have spent the best part of 10 years trying to be a better person. I still run my mouth from time to time (as you all have seen on VT) but I also think I'm pretty good at putting my hand up and saying Ive been a dick.

I know I'll die still trying but I won't give up, I guess I just figured if there is one person in the world who would know how hard I try, would be my wife.

She also doesn't do apologies which doubles the problem. 

I get quite down when I act like this as I'm the type of person who you could quite easily dislike but if you get to know me I think I'm a pretty decent person.

She knows this but she won't approach me she will just hold out until I buckle and say it's all my fault. I'm in no mood to make such a concession at this point though.

I wish I was calm and rational and level headed but I'm me, for better or worse.

If it's any consolation I have known my wife over 30 years and she has never apologised once. 

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20 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

If it's any consolation I have known my wife over 30 years and she has never apologised once. 

Has any woman?

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1 hour ago, Villan_of_oz said:

Does anyone else on here have something that their partner says that sets you right off.....

Anytime I tell me my wife anything she doesn't want to hear she tells me to grow up.... Sounds silly but she has said that many times that I can't take it.

We were seperated for 6 months last year but sorted it out and things have been really good for the last 5 months. 

Anyhow we just had a disagreement and as I walked off she said "grow up" and I just lost it!

Now I know I'm the wrong for losing my cool, but she promised she wouldn't say it anymore. I want to apologise for the way I spoke to her but I know she won't apologise or see anything wrong with what she did.

I'm a stepdad to her 2 kids and in these moments I feel really isolated as they obviously will gravitate towards her.

They're inside eating dinner and I'm out the back having a beer because I don't want to be anywhere near her. Unfortunately I'm not one of these awesome humans who are calm all the time. I wear my heart on my sleeve and show my raft of emotions (as you've probably seen through my VT posts 😂).

I know "grow up" is just two words but she literally says it everytime we argue as a way of dismissing me and my feelings.

Please, can someone rational thinking tell me if I'm being a massive bellend or do I have a point 😔

It partly depends on whether the thing you were doing that was annoying her was you being immature or not?

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35 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said:

It partly depends on whether the thing you were doing that was annoying her was you being immature or not?

Nope, I didn't even say one word of my sentence and she assumed what I was going to say. Which was the complete opposite of what I was going to say. I called BS and walked off (me trying not to lose my shit) as I walked off she said "grow up", then when I got upset and had a go at her she had a go at me for saying the sentence she assumed I was going to say but I NEVER ACTUALLY SAID ANYTHING 🤪

This is a common tactic with a lot of people. It goes like this

They get upset ...... You apologise

You get upset ....... They get upset ....... You apologise.

She knows damn well it's the truth too

Edited by Villan_of_oz

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7 minutes ago, Villan_of_oz said:

Nope, I didn't even say one word of my sentence and she assumed what I was going to say. Which was the complete opposite of what I was going to say. I called BS and walked off (me trying not to lose my shit) as I walked off she said "grow up", then when I got upset and had a go at her she had a go at me for saying the sentence she assumed I was going to say but I NEVER ACTUALLY SAID ANYTHING 🤪

This is a common tactic with a lot of people. It goes like this

They get upset ...... You apologise

You get upset ....... They get upset ....... You apologise.

She knows damn well it's the truth too

In that case, I think you have a right to ask her not to say the phrase you've agreed she won't say.

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1 hour ago, Villan_of_oz said:

 

She also doesn't do apologies which doubles the problem. 

 

I really hate that too. People too stubborn to admit they were wrong.

I also despise people being in a mood in general. And I mean when someone is moody because of something you've done but they won't tell you what you've done. **** that. Cryptic word removed.

If something has upset you then talk about it, squash it and move on. I'm not into spending days arguing and moody because someone got pissed off that you answered a question in a weird way or some bullshit.

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