lapal_fan Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 22 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said: On the subject of being best man... is a speech absolutely necessary? I'm meant to be best man for someone I work with. I found it a bit odd he asked me, we'd only known each other a year at that point. We've barely done anything outside of work. I've got absolutely no funny stories, and know none of his family or friends that I don't work with. I'm also terrified of public speaking. With he, his partner and some friends being actors, it makes it worse as I'm sure they'd be expecting someone super confident to be doing a speech. If I was asked to fill 1 minutes worth of talking, I'd really struggle. Is the dude an accountant, or in finance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 6 minutes ago, lapal_fan said: Is the dude an accountant, or in finance? We both work in the accounts department, but he's not an accountant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 10 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said: We both work in the accounts department, but he's not an accountant. Whatever you do, just record it and get one of your loved ones to post it post mortem, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 How come he asked you out of interest? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodders0223 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 48 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said: On the subject of being best man... is a speech absolutely necessary? I'm meant to be best man for someone I work with. I found it a bit odd he asked me, we'd only known each other a year at that point. We've barely done anything outside of work. I've got absolutely no funny stories, and know none of his family or friends that I don't work with. I'm also terrified of public speaking. With he, his partner and some friends being actors, it makes it worse as I'm sure they'd be expecting someone super confident to be doing a speech. If I was asked to fill 1 minutes worth of talking, I'd really struggle. Maybe start with a few quips on the fact the lad has no mates. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 3 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: How come he asked you out of interest? No idea. We get on really well, but I've no idea why he felt he should choose me over people he's known for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rodders0223 Posted August 22, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted August 22, 2019 3 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said: No idea. We get on really well, but I've no idea why he felt he should choose me over people he's known for years. Stefan is on here sobbing his poor little heart out at not being given best man duties to his BFFand you're here humble bragging. Shame on you. 1 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 (edited) 12 minutes ago, kurtsimonw said: No idea. We get on really well, but I've no idea why he felt he should choose me over people he's known for years. It's a compliment for sure but yeah, I think I'd have declined on the basis that outside of work, I have no idea about the guy. Its not like itd be easy to ask his old mates either as id be worried about pissing them off in case they resented me. Good luck with it though. Can only try your best. Make the stag do great to make up for a possibly crap speech is the tactic I'd go for. Edited August 22, 2019 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 22, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 22, 2019 59 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: It's a compliment for sure but yeah, I think I'd have declined on the basis that outside of work, I have no idea about the guy. Its not like itd be easy to ask his old mates either as id be worried about pissing them off in case they resented me. Good luck with it though. Can only try your best. Make the stag do great to make up for a possibly crap speech is the tactic I'd go for. If you make the stag do great enough it will give you plenty of material for the speech anyway! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 21 hours ago, il_serpente said: You know David Beckham? I call him Becks 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villarule123 Posted August 22, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 22, 2019 Just make up stories about all the things you two have got up to all over the 'years' He'll be too hammered to say otherwise anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 I went to a wedding just before last Christmas, speeches were an absolute car crash. Father of the bride says a few words, he has some pieces of paper but just rambles shit. It goes on and on and on, eventually his wife gets him to sit down. Everyone has well and truly lost the will. Best man speech next, he has a few gags in there but everyone was so deflated from the FOTB it was just flat as a pancake. I felt really sorry for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 22, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted August 22, 2019 16 minutes ago, Genie said: I went to a wedding just before last Christmas, speeches were an absolute car crash. Father of the bride says a few words, he has some pieces of paper but just rambles shit. It goes on and on and on, eventually his wife gets him to sit down. Everyone has well and truly lost the will. Best man speech next, he has a few gags in there but everyone was so deflated from the FOTB it was just flat as a pancake. I felt really sorry for him. I kept my FOTB speech short, for that very reason. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 my memories of my mate's dad's father of the groom speech mean I will be ensuring all speeches at mine will be brief. Was the most uncomfortably 25 minute ramble with awkward humour. I will be brief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted August 22, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 22, 2019 (edited) I did one thing right, anyway. My daughter later wrote an account of the day for a wedding blog, including this bit: Quote Our evening entertainment was provided by The Distance, who played our first dance, ‘Day Too Soon’ by Sia. Unbeknownst to us, my Dad had also secretly written a song, which the band also performed, which was incredibly special and emotional. MEMORABLE MOMENTS Number one has to be the band playing my Dad’s song. I knew that he had written it as soon as they started, and I was in floods! Link Aw, shucks. Edited August 22, 2019 by mjmooney 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 2 hours ago, villarule123 said: Just make up stories about all the things you two have got up to all over the 'years' He'll be too hammered to say otherwise anyway. That's what I did. I said the first time I met him, he was in a library, looking at naked African women in a national geographic magazine. I said I was the leader of a gang, and that to join it, he had to eat a packet of dairy lea dunkers and I also said when he watched Jackie Chan movies, he sellotaped his eyes to look Chinese. None of it was true, but I said it. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogso Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 On 21/08/2019 at 12:44, Ginko said: I can genuinely only think of one person who I could ask to be best man, and even him I'm not sure of. I barely see my uni mates any more and I never really had any close friends growing up (well, one, but in sixth form my girlfriend at the time cheated on me with him so that put an end to that friendship). So yeah, @Stevo985 and @StefanAVFC, I may have a job for you in a few year's time. I can see the speeches now... 'I remember that one time on Rocket League...', and 'So we were playing GTA Online, right. @lapal_fan had just finished running Rich over for the fiftieth time that night...' Traitor. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 (edited) I'm thinking just not even doing a speech. At all. I'll mention it to them both. I'll at least say I've attempted it, which I have. I think even if I did have something written, I'd probably not physically be able to do it. I have absolutely no idea how people do any king of public speaking. Edited August 23, 2019 by kurtsimonw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 6 hours ago, hogso said: Traitor. We’re the same person, remember? I can’t be my own best man now, can I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 @StefanAVFC I was recently overlooked as best man by a friend who I am longest serving friend to from the time of his arrival in Australia from England. We've always been tight and when he told me he was getting married I thought I'd be best man, but he opted for another friend of his. Sometimes you have to understand that your feelings are about what you want, even if you feel like your way serves others best interests. Ultimately you should respect your friends freedom to make decisions for himself, regardless of whether or not you want that for them too. Allow him dignity of risk to make those mistakes that you're seeing him make, you can and should offer your counsel but do so tactfully as a friend. Then as other have mentioned previously, just do your best to make the most of the experience and be there for your friend if he needs you, in whatever way you can. I actually ended up missing the stags snowboarding trip that was organised for him because I am not in close contact with his other friend. That was disappointing to miss. I possibly won't be at the wedding either as flying to England for a few days and back again isn't something I'm committed to just yet. He was disappointed with that. We've discussed and agreed that our friendship can endure and prosper beyond the marriage, as it has for over a decade and some significant change for us both. Disappointment is part of negotiating life and as long as you don't live in that disappointment and let it define the experience, it will pass and you can find better ways to live. Same goes for your bond with this friend of yours who's getting married. On 24/08/2019 at 04:00, kurtsimonw said: I'm thinking just not even doing a speech. At all. I'll mention it to them both. I'll at least say I've attempted it, which I have. I think even if I did have something written, I'd probably not physically be able to do it. I have absolutely no idea how people do any king of public speaking. It helps to be well prepared and familiar with your speech and its purpose when nerves are an issue, so you can focus on that and not any overwhelming anxieties. My sisters 21st everyone winged their speech except for me, I was so nervous, she's quite the socialite and I didn't want to disappoint, I'm her eldest brother. I was battling mental health and my own demons at the time of my and my peers 21st birthdays, I'm not sure if I ever attended one if I'm honest. I didn't know what was expected of me, all I knew was everyone made a big deal of the occasion and this was my only sisters big day. So I spent some hours putting pen to paper. If you can muster 750 words or 2-3 pages of content on this fella that is genuine and endearing, you've got yourself a 5 minute speech, and I back you to be a success. As I said, everyone (her boyfriend, our little brother and my mother) didn't prepare anything and winged it, which made for an awkward interval in the festivities. We had an entire pub booked out for us and the place was packed with all her friends and acquaintances, when speeches were announced I shat bricks. Thankfully my speech was really well received, people cheered and applauded and a few of her friends approached me afterward congratulating me on my effort. It was so basic. I simply discussed her qualities and development as a person, and what that's meant for me as a friend and sibling. I didn't go into specific scenarios. Most of, if not all of, those in attendance burst into laughter when I transitioned from heartfelt compliments about her to making a fart joke.. Just a reminder that she's human. It wasn't anything special but people appreciated that we were all there to celebrate my sister and that I had actually tried in regards to making speeches an enjoyable part of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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