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irreverentad

Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

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11 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Do you already have a missus? 

Yes. Believe me if I was single then this wouldn't even be a discussion!

Which was why before I had made the obvious decision to ignore the advances of the new girl and stay with my missus. Who I love an absolutely massive amount.

 

But the more time I spend with the new girl (at work mostly), the more I like her.
And my head has gone from "You're already with the right girl" to "what if... she's not the right girl, and the new one is?"

 

At the moment it's a bit like I want to have my cake and eat it. It'll pass. I hope.

Edited by Stevo985

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1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

Yes. Believe me if I was single then this wouldn't even be a discussion!

Which was why before I had made the obvious decision to ignore the advances of the new girl and stay with my missus. Who I love an absolutely massive amount.

 

But the more time I spend with the new girl (at work mostly), the more I like her.
And my head has gone from "You're already with the right girl" to "what if... she's not the right girl, and the new one is?"

 

At the moment it's a bit like I want to have my cake and eat it. It'll pass. I hope.

You gotta cut all ties with this other girl I think. My mate was in same position as you he had it all then got tempted and had those same thoughts ended it with his perfect girl went with this one and it lasted 2-3 weeks and he realised what a bellend he was to give in to temptation. He desperately tried getting back with his ex but she moved on and could not forgive. She is happy with some one knew and it is eating at him inside.

Tread carefully pal. good luck :thumb:

Edited by Demitri_C
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Just now, Demitri_C said:

You gotta cut all ties with this other girl I think. My mate was in same position as you he had it all then got tempted and had those same thoughts ended it with his perfect girl went with this one and it lasted 2-3 weeks and he realised what a bellend he was to give in to temptation. He desperately tried getting back with his ex but she moved on and could not forgive. She is happy with some one knew and it is eating at him inside.

Tread carefully pal. Could luck :thumb:

Yeah, that's what I need to do. It's kind of hard though :) Especially when I work with the new girl. I see her every day.

But I know it has disaster written all over it, which is why I'm resisting.

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1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

Yeah, that's what I need to do. It's kind of hard though :) Especially when I work with the new girl. I see her every day.

But I know it has disaster written all over it, which is why I'm resisting.

Has disaster written all over it. Never date someone you have to work with.

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1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

Yeah, that's what I need to do. It's kind of hard though :) Especially when I work with the new girl. I see her every day.

But I know it has disaster written all over it, which is why I'm resisting.

Do you not have someone you could set her up with ? 

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11 minutes ago, choffer said:

Has disaster written all over it. Never date someone you have to work with.

Great advice, if goes tits up can get ugly quickly 

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Been there, done that. Had me moving job and apartment. For the better as it turned out but that's besides the point.

 

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23 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

Do you not have someone you could set her up with ? 

The new girl?

Funnily enough I don't fancy setting her up with someone at the moment :D 

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2 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

And my head has gone from "You're already with the right girl" to "what if... she's not the right girl, and the new one is?"

Ohhh, dayamnn.  That, I didn't know.  Well, then I'm afraid we can not advise you sir!  Follow your .... heart (I was never going to say the other thing).

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20 minutes ago, BOF said:

Ohhh, dayamnn.  That, I didn't know.  Well, then I'm afraid we can not advise you sir!  Follow your .... heart (I was never going to say the other thing).

Yeah. It was easy when it was just a potential shag. No bother turning that opportunity down. 

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There is only one option Stevo and you know what it is deep down! That option is pics up on here, and run a poll for VT users to choose for you. What could possible go wrong with all our expert analysis and opinions. :D

 

On a serious note, I guess only you can deep down know what you really want as none of us know the full story, or your feelings. You need to ask yourself, Is this other woman exciting because it is new or forbidden, and will that drop off over time? Have things gone a little stale in your older relationship, and things just need a little bit of a kick start again? It is a tough decision I guess whether you stick or twist. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

The new girl?

Funnily enough I don't fancy setting her up with someone at the moment :D 

I am sure there will be many takers on VT :mrgreen: line up lads and sell yourselves ...

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Whichever one likes a bit of DHUTWU, is the keeper. Obviously. :)

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3 hours ago, NeilS said:

There is only one option Stevo and you know what it is deep down! That option is pics up on here, and run a poll for VT users to choose for you. What could possible go wrong with all our expert analysis and opinions. :D

 

On a serious note, I guess only you can deep down know what you really want as none of us know the full story, or your feelings. You need to ask yourself, Is this other woman exciting because it is new or forbidden, and will that drop off over time? Have things gone a little stale in your older relationship, and things just need a little bit of a kick start again? It is a tough decision I guess whether you stick or twist. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

The relationship doesn't even have to be stale for something new to seem fresh. By definition, the new girl will always seem fresher, but it's always harder to then mentally tally up all the intangibles of a long term relationship - all the effort put in, the compromises or the experiences shared and the planned future etc.  If you love someone and have been prepared to consider all the things like family etc that is to come, then ditching that to go back to square one seems a huge gamble. If you've really got no issues with your current partner, then - from an ignorant outsider perspective - I'd probably try and cool relations with the colleague. Easier said than done and all that

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7 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

But I know it has disaster written all over it, which is why I'm resisting.

Relocate to Salt Lake City.

Mormon conversion.

Have both.

Sorted.

There's a religion for everyone.

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7 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

Yes. Believe me if I was single then this wouldn't even be a discussion!

Which was why before I had made the obvious decision to ignore the advances of the new girl and stay with my missus. Who I love an absolutely massive amount.

 

But the more time I spend with the new girl (at work mostly), the more I like her.
And my head has gone from "You're already with the right girl" to "what if... she's not the right girl, and the new one is?"

 

At the moment it's a bit like I want to have my cake and eat it. It'll pass. I hope.

Tough situation. I don't get it now and I don't think I've had it with my current partner, but there was times in the past where I was with a girl, but there would be someone else I'd really like. It's exciting and it gives you the butterflies, but only you can decide if the grass is greener.

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17 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

Relocate to Salt Lake City.

Mormon conversion.

Have both.

Sorted.

There's a religion for everyone.

Those religious girls are full of fluid waiting to burst. I've always fancied myself a religious woman to corrupt. Someone from the middle of nowhere in America.

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7 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

But I know it has disaster written all over it, which is why I'm resisting.

Your situation definitely looks like a 'marshmallow' test designed for adults. :)

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