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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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20 minutes ago, BOF said:

Ohhh, dayamnn.  That, I didn't know.  Well, then I'm afraid we can not advise you sir!  Follow your .... heart (I was never going to say the other thing).

Yeah. It was easy when it was just a potential shag. No bother turning that opportunity down. 

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There is only one option Stevo and you know what it is deep down! That option is pics up on here, and run a poll for VT users to choose for you. What could possible go wrong with all our expert analysis and opinions. :D

 

On a serious note, I guess only you can deep down know what you really want as none of us know the full story, or your feelings. You need to ask yourself, Is this other woman exciting because it is new or forbidden, and will that drop off over time? Have things gone a little stale in your older relationship, and things just need a little bit of a kick start again? It is a tough decision I guess whether you stick or twist. Good luck with whatever you decide.

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1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

The new girl?

Funnily enough I don't fancy setting her up with someone at the moment :D 

I am sure there will be many takers on VT :mrgreen: line up lads and sell yourselves ...

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3 hours ago, NeilS said:

There is only one option Stevo and you know what it is deep down! That option is pics up on here, and run a poll for VT users to choose for you. What could possible go wrong with all our expert analysis and opinions. :D

 

On a serious note, I guess only you can deep down know what you really want as none of us know the full story, or your feelings. You need to ask yourself, Is this other woman exciting because it is new or forbidden, and will that drop off over time? Have things gone a little stale in your older relationship, and things just need a little bit of a kick start again? It is a tough decision I guess whether you stick or twist. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

The relationship doesn't even have to be stale for something new to seem fresh. By definition, the new girl will always seem fresher, but it's always harder to then mentally tally up all the intangibles of a long term relationship - all the effort put in, the compromises or the experiences shared and the planned future etc.  If you love someone and have been prepared to consider all the things like family etc that is to come, then ditching that to go back to square one seems a huge gamble. If you've really got no issues with your current partner, then - from an ignorant outsider perspective - I'd probably try and cool relations with the colleague. Easier said than done and all that

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7 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

But I know it has disaster written all over it, which is why I'm resisting.

Relocate to Salt Lake City.

Mormon conversion.

Have both.

Sorted.

There's a religion for everyone.

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7 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

Yes. Believe me if I was single then this wouldn't even be a discussion!

Which was why before I had made the obvious decision to ignore the advances of the new girl and stay with my missus. Who I love an absolutely massive amount.

 

But the more time I spend with the new girl (at work mostly), the more I like her.
And my head has gone from "You're already with the right girl" to "what if... she's not the right girl, and the new one is?"

 

At the moment it's a bit like I want to have my cake and eat it. It'll pass. I hope.

Tough situation. I don't get it now and I don't think I've had it with my current partner, but there was times in the past where I was with a girl, but there would be someone else I'd really like. It's exciting and it gives you the butterflies, but only you can decide if the grass is greener.

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17 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

Relocate to Salt Lake City.

Mormon conversion.

Have both.

Sorted.

There's a religion for everyone.

Those religious girls are full of fluid waiting to burst. I've always fancied myself a religious woman to corrupt. Someone from the middle of nowhere in America.

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1 hour ago, Rodders said:

 

If you've really got no issues with your current partner, then - from an ignorant outsider perspective - I'd probably try and cool relations with the colleague. Easier said than done and all that

That is kind of how I see it. If there in no problem with the current girlfriend, why change? For all you know the new woman could be a total nutjob once you get into a relationship. If it aint broke, don't fix it.

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3 minutes ago, NeilS said:

That is kind of how I see it. If there in no problem with the current girlfriend, why change? For all you know the new woman could be a total nutjob once you get into a relationship. If it aint broke, don't fix it.

I know how I'd feel if my other half (if I had one) had such feelings about a colleague. 

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2 hours ago, Rodders said:

 

 If you've really got no issues with your current partner, then - from an ignorant outsider perspective - I'd probably try and cool relations with the colleague. Easier said than done and all that

 

29 minutes ago, NeilS said:

That is kind of how I see it. If there in no problem with the current girlfriend, why change? For all you know the new woman could be a total nutjob once you get into a relationship. If it aint broke, don't fix it.

Well this was the opinion I shared at first.

But no problems doesn't mean it couldn't be any better. What if the new girl is the most amazing person I'll ever meet and I never go for it because it's "fine" with my current gf.

That's what's putting things in my head

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56 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

 

Well this was the opinion I shared at first.

But no problems doesn't mean it couldn't be any better. What if the new girl is the most amazing person I'll ever meet and I never go for it because it's "fine" with my current gf.

That's what's putting things in my head

Sounds like you've already made a decision...

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59 minutes ago, Stevo985 said:

 

Well this was the opinion I shared at first.

But no problems doesn't mean it couldn't be any better. What if the new girl is the most amazing person I'll ever meet and I never go for it because it's "fine" with my current gf.

That's what's putting things in my head

What if you meet someone better after her, then after her etc... Loads of amazing girls that would make us all happy, you just have to find one. There isn't the 'one', there's loads that could be a great match.

Edited by Ingram85
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1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

 

Well this was the opinion I shared at first.

But no problems doesn't mean it couldn't be any better. What if the new girl is the most amazing person I'll ever meet and I never go for it because it's "fine" with my current gf.

That's what's putting things in my head

a]  How long has "new girl" been around?

b]  How closely do you work with "new girl"?

c]  When you say "no problems" at home, do you mean none?

 

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Do what makes you happy.

1 life, make the most if it. 

Weigh up the options & then act.  No advice on here or from anyone else should make any difference to how you act.  You're on your own.

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