Demitri_C Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 3 hours ago, Ingram85 said: Dem, I'm not sure if I'm missing something humorous here but as it stands I can only take this as horribly insensitive. Not cool. Not the intention at all mate, so apologies if it offended you. I was saying as this could happen if you went ahead with the divorce as this happened to a mate years ago. Just don't want this to occur to you as my mate was devastated. She may change her mind... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted August 26, 2016 Share Posted August 26, 2016 Bloody relationships eh! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Me and the wife are in a really bad place at the moment. Can't see us lasting the distance the way it's looking. She is prone to miscarriages early in pregnancy and if that does happen this time I think it will definitely be the end. Horrible horrible situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Sorry to hear that Ruge, hope everything works out for the best but I'm not sure a relationship should hinge on the children. Doesn't sound very healthy or fair to you or to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 28 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: Me and the wife are in a really bad place at the moment. Can't see us lasting the distance the way it's looking. She is prone to miscarriages early in pregnancy and if that does happen this time I think it will definitely be the end. Horrible horrible situation. I know you've had your issues relationship wise and miscarriages are a horrible thing to go through - I've got my fingers crossed for you mate. If the worst happens, just be there and support her the best you can until you're both in a decent position to assess where you go next. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 31 minutes ago, Ginko said: Sorry to hear that Ruge, hope everything works out for the best but I'm not sure a relationship should hinge on the children. Doesn't sound very healthy or fair to you or to them. She wants the baby and I didn't want another but obviously I'll be very happy to welcome our new baby into the world and I will love he or her with all my heart. I think it's fair to say kids have kept us together in the past and if we never did have kids we would probably have broken up a long time ago. We have got a lot of issues going on at the moment and this pregnancy came at a bad time. Abortion is not an option so keeping the baby is the only option and it's really hard to give up on this whilst we are having another baby. I say we will split up if we lose the baby because it will just be another thing we have to deal with and it will send her off the rails. She said yesterday if we lose it she thinks that will be the end and I agree. Both of our heads are in the shed at the moment and it's horrible. Just wish we could both be happy together but she's not been happy for ages and I don't think I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Sorry to hear Ruge, relationships ain't easy all the best to you mate. We haven't been able to sort our situation out and the house will be up for sale in a few weeks and we will get divorce proceedings underway. It's all smicable so will get sorted quickly but it's just weird that we are getting along yet splitting up down the line. We are spending the day in Royal Lemington Spa tomorrow which is confusing but we get on so.... I dunno. The whole thing pisses me off. Ill end up with 6-7 grand after all the fees which won't even get me a decent flat ffs. Will just have to get a £60,000 mortgage and put up as much as I can I guess. Head is a **** puddle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted September 1, 2016 Share Posted September 1, 2016 Ruge + Ingram, sounds shit for you both. Feel bad for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 That's shit news Ingram. I bet it feels so wrong as your getting on so well. How does she feel about the whole situation? Relationships are so bloody hard but then I guess there are some couples who feel the exact opposite and their relationship has been great for the most part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Some heavy shit going on with you guys here. Sounds like you're both pretty low but I'm sure we can all look back on a really hard time and know that it is possible to come through these things better and stronger. Just gotta hang in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 44 minutes ago, Genie said: Some heavy shit going on with you guys here. Sounds like you're both pretty low but I'm sure we can all look back on a really hard time and know that it is possible to come through these things better and stronger. Just gotta hang in there. hanging in there is one thing I'm good at me and the missus are both difficult people to live with so its no surprise we are more down than we are up. It's never good when a relationship hits a bad spell and with one or two other things going on in my personal life and also her life it makes those things a lot harder to deal with. We spoke last night and tried to clear the air a bit so we will just see if things improve. I get stuck in a rut at times and I find it hard to give her everything she craves. Sex life has hit a brick wall and this pregnancy has made it worse for me to be intimate in that way. It's times like these I need good advice off rob.......DHUTWU. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Sorry to hear that shitness @Ingram85 and @Rugeley Villa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Harry Posted September 4, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted September 4, 2016 On 25/08/2016 at 11:37, Ingram85 said: So, me and the wife are splitting up. We still love each other, still want to be together but she has said she never wants kids where as I want them. Before we got married she said she wanted them. She's 23 and I'm 31, the problem is that I could wait but I may be 40 by the time she is ready, I don't want to be 60 when my kid is 20. She is adamant that she won't change her mind in the foreseeable either so I'm kinda stuck. Weve been talking and trying to work it out for months now but can't figure it out. Feels like a massive waste and a huge shame as I don't want us to break up but having kids was always a part of the plan for me, I've never changed on it and she knew this before marrying me so I feel pissed off that she has changed her tune so much and I could wait but what if she never changes her mind? Is it right to break up now so we can be happier with other people and get what we want from life? If I stay I feel like I'll be in limbo waiting for her to change her mind again and that's not healthy. Heads a right mess at the mo as it doesn't feel real, we are ok together other than this huge issue. Urghhhhhh. Will have to sell the house too unless I get a mate to move in? The cat too lol we will fight over him I know it. Don't know where to turn. The whole situation feels stupid. Why marry me and settle down if you didn't want kids? Why say you did originally? **** sake. I really don't think you should be splitting up at the ages you are over whether you have kids. She is only 23 so its hardly surprising that at that age she does not want them. At 31 you have plenty of time to have children when you are older with either your wife or someone else. Added to that the stats say that people are having children later and later these days I got married when I was 24 and my wife was just 25. I vividly remember a couple of days before the wedding my wife saying to me I shouldn't marry her if I wanted children as she definitely didn't. Anyway 30 years later we have two children; 23 and 19 and my wife would have had more has be not had the first when she was 32. I always wanted kids and my wife always knew that but I never put any pressure on her. As you get older your priorities change and we both reached a point when we wanted them. Don't discount peer group pressure either. If in the next few years some of her friends have children that is a real incentive to rethink whether you actually want them not least because you end up being the minority if you don't. Having kids when you are older is no bad thing either as usually you are better off and can afford them and take it from me they are expensive! Mind you we are just about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now. My daughter (the 23 year old) has just qualified as a doctor and now earns a wage finally (yay!) and we should see my son earning in a couple of years time when he finishes at Uni. If you love each other you should stay together and see what happen over the next few years. 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 On 02/09/2016 at 08:09, Rugeley Villa said: hanging in there is one thing I'm good at me and the missus are both difficult people to live with so its no surprise we are more down than we are up. It's never good when a relationship hits a bad spell and with one or two other things going on in my personal life and also her life it makes those things a lot harder to deal with. We spoke last night and tried to clear the air a bit so we will just see if things improve. I get stuck in a rut at times and I find it hard to give her everything she craves. Sex life has hit a brick wall and this pregnancy has made it worse for me to be intimate in that way. It's times like these I need good advice off rob.......DHUTWU. It cures all ills and problems my friend...and if it doesn't at least you got a bit of botty action Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 1 hour ago, Harry said: I really don't think you should be splitting up at the ages you are over whether you have kids. She is only 23 so its hardly surprising that at that age she does not want them. At 31 you have plenty of time to have children when you are older with either your wife or someone else. Added to that the stats say that people are having children later and later these days I got married when I was 24 and my wife was just 25. I vividly remember a couple of days before the wedding my wife saying to me I shouldn't marry her if I wanted children as she definitely didn't. Anyway 30 years later we have two children; 23 and 19 and my wife would have had more has be not had the first when she was 32. I always wanted kids and my wife always knew that but I never put any pressure on her. As you get older your priorities change and we both reached a point when we wanted them. Don't discount peer group pressure either. If in the next few years some of her friends have children that is a real incentive to rethink whether you actually want them not least because you end up being the minority if you don't. Having kids when you are older is no bad thing either as usually you are better off and can afford them and take it from me they are expensive! Mind you we are just about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now. My daughter (the 23 year old) has just qualified as a doctor and now earns a wage finally (yay!) and we should see my son earning in a couple of years time when he finishes at Uni. If you love each other you should stay together and see what happen over the next few years. Excellent post IMO. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted September 14, 2016 Share Posted September 14, 2016 Back to the drawing board for me again. Being a slightly older women she felt she has to have kids now or never, we were only together 3 months and not on my cards yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 19 hours ago, mikeyp102 said: Back to the drawing board for me again. Being a slightly older women she felt she has to have kids now or never, we were only together 3 months and not on my cards yet. How old are you chief? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 No matter how old you are, talking about kids three months into a relationship is way too full-on. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 That's why relationships are awesome when you're older (especially when both parties have had the snip!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 21 hours ago, mikeyp102 said: Back to the drawing board for me again. Being a slightly older women she felt she has to have kids now or never, we were only together 3 months and not on my cards yet. Is she fit? Send her my way! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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