Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

[phily85]

2 hours ago, sharkyvilla said:

That's encouraging, there's this girl I know and she's invited me to the after-party/drinks of her play at the theatre on Wednesday but I'm not entirely sure which way she swings as she generally only goes out clubbing down in Brighton at the same gay nightclub with one gay bloke and a girl who I know is straight.  I've not got the nerve to just ask her if she is a lesbian and Facebook stalking doesn't really give me any clues.  I think I'm just going to have to try and read the signals on the night

Maybe she is thinking of setting you up with her gay friend

[foreveryoung]

2 hours ago, AlwaysAVFC said:

Made the plunge and going to move in with my girlfriend. I'll be 35 by the time the years out and until now I've never actually lived with a girl full time and have always been keen to keep my own space. Which was probably why my relationships were short lived but that suited me perfectly really. Things are going really well so I thought it's now or never.

 

If you like your own space, make sure she has a big house. We always need space

[mikeyp102]

4 hours ago, AlwaysAVFC said:

Made the plunge and going to move in with my girlfriend. I'll be 35 by the time the years out and until now I've never actually lived with a girl full time and have always been keen to keep my own space. Which was probably why my relationships were short lived but that suited me perfectly really. Things are going really well so I thought it's now or never.

 

Be prepared to find hair clips and make up everywhere!! 

[V01]

Get a shed!

[Demitri_C]

I kind of dread the thought of living with a woman to be honest 

[dont_do_it_doug.]

Nah women are amazing. They're very sweet, caring, they have lovely smelling things and they occasionally walk around with their boobies out. 

[hogso]

 

22 minutes ago, dont_do_it_doug. said:

Nah dogs are amazing. They're very sweet, caring, they have lovely smelling things and they occasionally walk around with their boobies out. 

Never forget.

[sharkyvilla]

19 hours ago, Xela said:

Foursome beckons

We will await the sordid details.

I was thinking that the lesbian should cancel out the gay so it would be alright, but then he has to do someone UTWU to make it work...  Nah thanks, I think I'll probably just end up with a pint in the corner wishing I was somewhere else.

[AlwaysAVFC]

17 hours ago, V01 said:

Get a shed!

Sorted, she's already got one 

 

The big thing for me to get used to is where she lives. It's a small Village with 2 pubs and no shop, a couple of miles from the nearest town and supermarket.

Thank f**k there are 2 pubs at least.

[Davkaus]

I'd pretty much just decided to be single forever, but I have got chatting to a well-educated, vegan, liberal, nerdy gamer, my age, in a good job, that doesn't want kids and she's absolutely gorgeous.

She's going to end up having  a cock, isn't she?

[V01]

12 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

I'd pretty much just decided to be single forever, but I have got chatting to a well-educated, vegan, liberal, nerdy gamer, my age, in a good job, that doesn't want kids and she's absolutely gorgeous.

She's going to end up having  a cock, isn't she?

looks like you won't be getting any blowies.

[Davkaus]

It's fine. She doesn't eat meat, I don't eat fish.

[mikeyp102]

1 hour ago, Davkaus said:

I'd pretty much just decided to be single forever, but I have got chatting to a well-educated, vegan, liberal, nerdy gamer, my age, in a good job, that doesn't want kids and she's absolutely gorgeous.

She's going to end up having  a cock, isn't she?

She's a vegan that's worse..

[Xela]

20 hours ago, Davkaus said:

I'd pretty much just decided to be single forever, but I have got chatting to a well-educated, vegan, liberal, nerdy gamer, my age, in a good job, that doesn't want kids and she's absolutely gorgeous.

She's going to end up having  a cock, isn't she?

Nobody is perfect. Plus she'll still have a bumhole

[Demitri_C]

I didn't know what to put this  but here goes.

So my first proper long term girl friend who i was with for about 3 and half years where we split about 4 years ago, the first girl I properly loved, I saw on facebook she puts a status "2nd op today thanks everyone for their well wishes" I thought probably nothing serious but thought I would message her just to wish her well as no ill feelings between us. She tells me she has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and that she is having it removed. I was quite taken aback as that was not what I was expected.

I messaged my cousin who is still friends with her to see if I could get more info. She said to me that she had an op last year but the tumor was half her brain in size. So they couldn't remove it all due to how big it was, since then the tumor has continued to grow hence why she is going into today. they said this tumor will develop into cancer. i am devastated, don't know what to do.

never in a million years did i think this would happen, she is only 33.  

[dAVe80]

42 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

I didn't know what to put this  but here goes.

So my first proper long term girl friend who i was with for about 3 and half years where we split about 4 years ago, the irst girl I properly loved, I saw on facebook she puts a status "2nd op today thanks everyone for their well wishes" I thought probably nothing serious but thought I would message her just to wish her well as no ill feelings between us. She tells me she has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and that she is having it removed. I was quite taken aback as that was not what I was expected.

I messaged my cousin who is still friends with her to see if I could get more info. She said to me that she had an op last year but the tumor was half her brain in size. So they couldn't remove it all due to how big it was, since then the tumor has continued to grow hence why she is going into today. they said this tumor will develop into cancer. i am devastated, don't know what to do.

never in a million years did i think this would happen, she is only 33.  

That's awful news mate. Very sorry to hear that. All I can suggest is that you offer to be there for her if she needs you. As much as it's terrible news for you, and hard to comprehend, it's even worse for her, as she's the one going through it. Ask if you can go and see her, and make her feel as normal as possible. Emotions will no doubt run high, but if you can stay strong for her, you can maybe help her to feel a little bit of comfort. I assume you're still on good terms, if you're still friends on Facebook? I'm sure she would appreciate you reaching out, but remember what she says goes. If she feels up to it, I'm sure she would be happy to see you. 

All the best anyway. Can only begin to imagine how horrible this must be for you. Stay strong.

[Demitri_C]

5 hours ago, dAVe80 said:

That's awful news mate. Very sorry to hear that. All I can suggest is that you offer to be there for her if she needs you. As much as it's terrible news for you, and hard to comprehend, it's even worse for her, as she's the one going through it. Ask if you can go and see her, and make her feel as normal as possible. Emotions will no doubt run high, but if you can stay strong for her, you can maybe help her to feel a little bit of comfort. I assume you're still on good terms, if you're still friends on Facebook? I'm sure she would appreciate you reaching out, but remember what she says goes. If she feels up to it, I'm sure she would be happy to see you. 

All the best anyway. Can only begin to imagine how horrible this must be for you. Stay strong.

Thanks dude 

[Ingram85]

So, me and the wife are splitting up. We still love each other, still want to be together but she has said she never wants kids where as I want them. Before we got married she said she wanted them. She's 23 and I'm 31, the problem is that I could wait but I may be 40 by the time she is ready, I don't want to be 60 when my kid is 20. She is adamant that she won't change her mind in the foreseeable either so I'm kinda stuck.

Weve been talking and trying to work it out for months now but can't figure it out. Feels like a massive waste and a huge shame as I don't want us to break up but having kids was always a part of the plan for me, I've never changed on it and she knew this before marrying me so I feel pissed off that she has changed her tune so much and I could wait but what if she never changes her mind? Is it right to break up now so we can be happier with other people and get what we want from life? If I stay I feel like I'll be in limbo waiting for her to change her mind again and that's not healthy.

Heads a right mess at the mo as it doesn't feel real, we are ok together other than this huge issue. Urghhhhhh. Will have to sell the house too unless I get a mate to move in? The cat too lol we will fight over him I know it. Don't know where to turn. The whole situation feels stupid. Why marry me and settle down if you didn't want kids? Why say you did originally? **** sake.

Edited August 25, 2016 by Ingram85

[villaglint]

Sounds like an awful situation. I realise that's not very helpful. 

I guess there are no right and wrong answers and you just have to follow your own path. 

[lapal_fan]

14 minutes ago, Ingram85 said:

So, me and the wife are splitting up. We still love each other, still want to be together but she has said she never wants kids where as I want them. Before we got married she said she wanted them. She's 23 and I'm 31, the problem is that I could wait but I may be 40 by the time she is ready, I don't want to be 60 when my kid is 20. She is adamant that she won't change her mind in the foreseeable either so I'm kinda stuck.

Weve been talking and trying to work it out for months now but can't figure it out. Feels like a massive waste and a huge shame as I don't want us to break up but having kids was always a part of the plan for me, I've never changed on it and she knew this before marrying me so I feel pissed off that she has changed her tune so much and I could wait but what if she never changes her mind? Is it right to break up now so we can be happier with other people and get what we want from life? If I stay I feel like I'll be in limbo waiting for her to change her mind again and that's not healthy.

Heads a right mess at the mo as it doesn't feel real, we are ok together other than this huge issue. Urghhhhhh. Will have to sell the house too unless I get a mate to move in? The cat too lol we will fight over him I know it. Don't know where to turn. The whole situation feels stupid. Why marry me and settle down if you didn't want kids? Why say you did originally? **** sake.

That's such a head **** mate, sorry to hear it.

Is this something she has recently decided?  Or has this been her opinion for a while? 

Why has she changed her mind? 

As I always say, life isn't a dress rehearsal, we get one go on this rock, make the most of it and do what you need to do to make you happy. 

Kids are absolutely fantastic and amazing, but they can be hard work, and I say that when I'm told by most people that my son is very easy to look after.  There are moments with your other half when you don't agree, if they do something that irritates you etc etc and you have to talk about it or bite your lip - particularly with in-laws (no matter how great they are generally!).

I hope you both discuss it at great length, and both come to an amicable and happy result.