rjw63 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 So Dem wants to watch Villa instead of having the ride? Gotta be ghey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 49 minutes ago, rjw63 said: So Dem wants to watch Villa instead of having the ride? Gotta be ghey Haha not really. It wasn't about the game for me, just the fact that I'm the man and what I say goes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 17, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted January 17, 2016 1 hour ago, Demitri_C said: I had my first shit test from that indian girl yesterday. She said what time we meeting, i say after villa game. She said come meet me now and im like no way as we discussed footie 1st then date after. She then was like in a joking way so football is more important than me? I was like hell yeah!! The she laughed and then asked what time game finished and end of me missing villa game talk. Be warned men, women do this kind of shit early on to see what they can get away with! Like I said before, stop believing everything you read in "The Game". There's no such thing as a shit test. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 49 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: Like I said before, stop believing everything you read in "The Game". There's no such thing as a shit test. Stevo they do test men, I'm suprised you actually think that. A lot of women I know openly admit to testing men. The reason they do it in their words "to filter out" certain ones. The really hot women do this because they get chatted up so many times by different men, they filter out the ones that feel are clingy and insecure by testing them. sounds ridiculous to us men but it does happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted January 17, 2016 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2016 A "shit test" is something made up by so called Pick Up Artists. The girl you're seeing was just having a laugh. It wasn't a "shit test". Stop overthinking things. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted January 17, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted January 17, 2016 I suspect that Stevo doesn't believe in "shit tests" because without realising it, he's passed every single damn one of them. Hitch doesn't fail. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 Snakes with tits, lads, snakes with tits Cue visions of Fabian Delph with a nice rack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 So Dem wants to watch Villa instead of having the ride? Gotta be ghey [emoji6] Haha not really. It wasn't about the game for me, just the fact that I'm the man and what I say goes [emoji4] Greek man being Greek I see. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThunderPower_14 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I'm not sure if I really need advice or not, but i'm about to split up with my wife. We've been married since 2012 and together since high school in 2003. Because we got together in high school and there was never any real reason to split up as we grew, i've started to feel like if we'd met at 25 we'd have never gotten together in a million years because our interests and worldview is quite different, although we do have some things in common. A few years back she took exception to what was purely a friendship with a girl from work. We'd never had any sort of issues with jealousy or anything like that, and it hit me really hard and was never really resolved, it just sort of went away when I got a new job, but the lack of trust really hurt me at the time, and she's the kind of person who holds a grudge, so it would be brought up for ages afterwards. Then she started to develop depression. She'd always had mild anxiety, but she was just a bit of a worrier really. This was something a lot darker, and it totally consumed her. She did continue to go to work and would usually go out to see her friends, but it was a struggle for her. Depression is a word removed of a thing. I dealt with it really well some days, and other days I just wanted to unwind and not have to deal with it, so i'd basically avoid talking to her. It was absolutely relentless. She just began to hate herself and how she looked and every decision she made. I'll never really know how bad it is, but i'd never accuse someone suffering from that sort of mental illness of being weak. It's absolutely debilitating and you need to seek help. She became borderline underweight, slept terribly if at all, and stressed over everything. Another issue as we've approached our 30s is kids. If it were up to me, we'd have had them several years ago but she has always been a bit 50/50 on kids, only really agreeing to have them because they are a non-negotiable to me. She switches back and forth between wanting them and not wanting them, and her mental health has absolutely ruled them out over the past few years. I'm terrified because I don't want to get to my mid to late 30s and realise she isn't going to want to or be mentally able to be a parent, and then my choices are really limited. She eventually did seek help, and started to see a counselor and take medication, which began to help a bit, but what was probably 3 solid years of depression really took it's toll on us. The physical side of the relationship basically disappeared, because we both felt like the other one wasn't interested and we were both too stressed out with the whole thing to try ourselves. That sort of theme ran through the rest of our relationship, with both of us taking less and less of an interest in the other person's hobbies until we became basically like housemates as opposed to husband and wife. We've both spent the last 2 years or so in survival mode. I'm a police officer so I see some pretty brutal stuff and I just need to unwind occasionally and not come home to more stress. It got to the point a few weeks back where she moved into the spare room on basically mutual agreement that something needed to change, with that discussion initiated by me but it was her idea to move rooms. Since then her mental health has improved out of sight, almost as if she feels like now that she can't rely on me so she has to look after herself a bit better. She put on weight, she was able to rationalise things that would have been impossible for her even a couple of months earlier, and I can see the girl I fell in love with starting to reappear. But it's probably too late. I'm not sure if I can ever see her the same way again after what we've been through, and we've still got the issue where we don't have all that much in common, so there is nothing to really draw us back together. We don't really put the effort in and we've both probably checked out. Me especially. We don't have any kids thankfully, just pets and horses which are hers, but she almost certainly wont be able to afford a property where she can keep horses by herself. We also have a very tight knit group of friends, where there are a few couples between my mates and her friends, but the ones we've told have been very supportive of both of us. Ultimately it will mean i'll still see her pretty regularly, but that's okay. I'm just worried about finding a new partner and how she'd be accepted by that group. They are all really lovely and welcoming people so it's probably not worth worrying about, but it's something I have to consider. We've been pretty open and honest about where we're at with it, and we've basically 99% agreed that we'll break up, even talking about who will take what furniture etc. Despite it being her decision to move to the spare room and her probably feeling the same as I do, she's sort of put this entire decision on me which is frustrating. It will probably happen in the next few days. I'm both terrified and excited about being single for the first time since I was 16, but ultimately I think we'll both be happier in the long term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted January 18, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted January 18, 2016 Sorry to hear that buddy. Sounds like it could be the best thing for the both of you though to be honest. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 18, 2016 Moderator Share Posted January 18, 2016 Well wow that was heavy stuff. Very sorry to hear it TP. Sounds like you've been living a bit of a nightmare for a while now. It sounds from that like 2 reasonable people trying their best to deal with depression in the most conscientious way they can for each other. It's a shame you both think it's gone beyond saving, but you're more than likely right that in the long term it'll be healthier for both :/ You're in good company. You're not the only one in here who's gone through a similar marital dynamic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 18, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted January 18, 2016 Sounds like a very difficult situation, but also sounds like you're doing the right thing. Sounds like what's making it so hard/scary is because you've been together for so long and it's the fear of the unknown. Best of luck with it, but I have a hunch you'll look back on this in a year and be glad you've done it, even if it was tough to do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 (edited) Alternatively, since she has started to get back to her normal self have you both gone out on 'dates' with each other to see if that spark is still there? A movie, dinner, day out in the countryside or whatever? Might be worth a try to save a 12+ year relationship and rule it out definitively or not if it's obvious you both want to move on? Edited January 18, 2016 by Ingram85 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Also, your post has got me brain ticking over, it's really made me think about my own relationship and how much of a grumpy cynical old fart I am and how that could affect her viewing of me. She has her own mental health issues to a lesser degree and I wouldn't want to grow together over the years only for her to start resenting me and my ways. Though if anything did ever happen between us I'd probably just stay single tbh. It was hard enough work finding her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThunderPower_14 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 23 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: Alternatively, since she has started to get back to her normal self have you both gone out on 'dates' with each other to see if that spark is still there? A movie, dinner, day out in the countryside or whatever? Might be worth a try to save a 12+ year relationship and rule it out definitively or not if it's obvious you both want to move on? Yeah, a couple. It hasn't really changed a lot unfortunately. The group stuff we've gone too has been much better, but while the dates have been okay, it hasn't really reignited the spark. Really her returning to her normal self has coincided with us sleeping in separate rooms and living in a situation where we're not really sure what the boundaries are. I still want to know how her day was and I still want her to be happy and successful etc, but I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I don't think in the short to medium term that is going to change. Long term I have no idea. 18 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: Also, your post has got me brain ticking over, it's really made me think about my own relationship and how much of a grumpy cynical old fart I am and how that could affect her viewing of me. She has her own mental health issues to a lesser degree and I wouldn't want to grow together over the years only for her to start resenting me and my ways. Though if anything did ever happen between us I'd probably just stay single tbh. It was hard enough work finding her. The single part scares me, because I haven't been single as an adult. The last time I was single I was a stupid teenager who had absolutely no idea about anything. My worry is that I go out into the world and have a terrible time of it and regret the decision, but that seems like a horrible reason to stay with someone you aren't happy with. I've probably used the time we've spent in separate rooms to mentally prepare myself to be single and go through the whole divorce process (which will be as pain free as it can be, we won't be fighting over belongings or anything, i'd honestly rather just give her everything and she's not the type to make it difficult). I'm getting closer to being ready. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 9 minutes ago, ThunderPower_14 said: The single part scares me, because I haven't been single as an adult. The last time I was single I was a stupid teenager who had absolutely no idea about anything. My worry is that I go out into the world and have a terrible time of it and regret the decision, but that seems like a horrible reason to stay with someone you aren't happy with. Mate the unknown can be scary, but instead of having fear have the mentality of being excited that you now have the opportunity to meet new women, someone that can truely give you the gift of love and hopefully give you the family that your heart desires 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuart_75 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 TP, my only advice is don't let it drag on if you think its time to call it a day. You can waste months, even years making your mind up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 7 hours ago, Demitri_C said: Mate the unknown can be scary, but instead of having fear have the mentality of being excited that you now have the opportunity to meet new women, someone that can truely give you the gift of love and hopefully give you the family that your heart desires I'd echo this. Don't be afraid of being single. Everyone, male or female, should be comfortable on their own. Sometimes its great to not have to explain yourself or even worry about anyone else but yourself for a while. Plus when you are ready to get back into the dating world, there are loads of lovely single women out there just waiting to meet a good decent bloke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted January 18, 2016 Popular Post Share Posted January 18, 2016 Following on from my post above, I need to get back in the dating game. I had kind of closed myself off for a number of years from the world of dating as I kidded myself I was quite happy on my own but that changed when a young lady showed an interest in me a couple of months ago. Suddenly, having a very attractive girl express a desire to know me better, awoke feelings in me that had laid dormant for too long and made me realise I really miss those feelings you get when someone likes you and you really like them back. The excitement of seeing them, getting messages from them and all those things that you feel in the early stages of a prospective romance. Ultimately, nothing really happened as there were too many insurmountable obstacles to overcome, which I won't bore you with, but if I have learned anything from it, it is that I do want to meet someone. I haven't signed up to a dating site yet but have browsed POF, as you can search on there without registering and I am surprised at the large number of very nice sounding, and looking, single women on there who are fairly local to me, so that gives me hope for the future. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 17 minutes ago, Xela said: Following on from my post above, I need to get back in the dating game. I had kind of closed myself off for a number of years from the world of dating as I kidded myself I was quite happy on my own but that changed when a young lady showed an interest in me a couple of months ago. Suddenly, having a very attractive girl express a desire to know me better, awoke feelings in me that had laid dormant for too long and made me realise I really miss those feelings you get when someone likes you and you really like them back. The excitement of seeing them, getting messages from them and all those things that you feel in the early stages of a prospective romance. Ultimately, nothing really happened as there were too many insurmountable obstacles to overcome, which I won't bore you with, but if I have learned anything from it, it is that I do want to meet someone. I haven't signed up to a dating site yet but have browsed POF, as you can search on there without registering and I am surprised at the large number of very nice sounding, and looking, single women on there who are fairly local to me, so that gives me hope for the future. Mate it's a shame they haven't launched that doubles app yet I think we can make good wingmen for each other Im on pof dont really like it. I find it more weirdos and egos. But yes xela get back in the game.being single is good for a while but I think after that I think you can't beat when you have the thrill of getting to know someone 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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