villarule123 Posted July 11, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted July 11, 2014 If you love the woman and have kids with her, marriage is to be expected IMO. Infact, marriage should come before kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Why don't you want to get married? Cost? Don't believe in it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Noticed the ex deleted me from Facebook Know I shouldn't message her wishing her luck but I want to.. What you reckon? You've only got the No Pussy Blues - you'll get over it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 well we have been back together for a bit now but I still have not proposed, its a huge deal for her but it just aint for me. I said I would propose but shes still waiting ha, im a sucker for brushing things under the carpet and the past three days we have argued about it. had a big row last night over, what happens will happen I suppose. Stop being such a self important prick and propose then (assuming you love her). If you don't love her, wtf are you playing at. Get a grip. Marriage is a commitment as much for the kids as the couple. Man up mate. If it means that much to her, what's the issue? haha bloody hell mate that's a bit harsh, yeah I do love her and I understand the whole kids thing and commitment. cant help that I don't want to get married, we will though and I will be doing it for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Why don't you want to get married? Cost? Don't believe in it? we wont be spending a fortune so no that aint the issue, it just aint for me but it looks like its something im going to have to do. once we are married I will be ok no doubt and will wonder why I made such a fuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amo69 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 well we have been back together for a bit now but I still have not proposed, its a huge deal for her but it just aint for me. I said I would propose but shes still waiting ha, im a sucker for brushing things under the carpet and the past three days we have argued about it. had a big row last night over, what happens will happen I suppose.Stop being such a self important prick and propose then (assuming you love her). If you don't love her, wtf are you playing at. Get a grip. Marriage is a commitment as much for the kids as the couple. Man up mate. If it means that much to her, what's the issue? haha bloody hell mate that's a bit harsh, yeah I do love her and I understand the whole kids thing and commitment. cant help that I don't want to get married, we will though and I will be doing it for her. I wouldn't get married just for somebody else mate. You got to want it to. Unless either of you are religious why get married anyway? It just complicates things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 if we don't get married we will brake up which is bad enough but then the biggest heart breaker will be not seeing the kids as much and not living with them. we will get married then she will be happy and she will get off my case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amo69 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Why would she leave you if you don't get married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 RV, sorry if it's out of turn to say, but your missus is bang out of order for giving an ultimatum like that - "get married or it's over" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Why would she leave you if you don't get married? because she needs the commitment and shes fed up of putting her life on hold, its her dream. RV, sorry if it's out of turn to say, but your missus is bang out of order for giving an ultimatum like that - "get married or it's over" I agree with you but couples break up a lot over this marriage thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amo69 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Why would she leave you if you don't get married? because she needs the commitment and shes fed up of putting her life on hold, its her dream.RV, sorry if it's out of turn to say, but your missus is bang out of order for giving an ultimatum like that - "get married or it's over" I agree with you but couples break up a lot over this marriage thing Fair enough. Marriage isn't the commitment it used to be years ago so I guess do what you gotta do to make her happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCU Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 (edited) Will a "ring" cure a failing relationship though? Edited July 11, 2014 by Warnock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted July 11, 2014 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2014 Will a "ring" cure a failing relationship though? DHUTWU? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 if we don't get married we will brake up which is bad enough but then the biggest heart breaker will be not seeing the kids as much and not living with them. we will get married then she will be happy and she will get off my case. *break* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 doh did not notice that error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I agree with the previous poster who said that's certainly out of order to say something like that, assuming she's actually said it and you've not just assumed. Surely if you love each other, what's the problem if you don't get married? A bit of paperwork and a ring can't mean that much compared to you, can it? My parents didn't get married until 2008, after they'd been together over 22 years. Never really understood the fuss myself, but then maybe that's because I grew up with unmarried parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Yeah she made it perfectly clear that's what would happen, I'm just fed up of it to be honest ha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Will a "ring" cure a failing relationship though? DHUTWU? That gag pretty much wrote itself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 (edited) A lot of women are funny about marriage though. They've dreamed about their wedding day since they were kids so it means a lot more to them than it does to guys for the most part. I'd ask her if it was her dream to be married, i.e. have that commitment for life, spend the rest of her life as Mrs... RugeleyVilla and have all that comes with it, or if it's solely for the one nice day where she's the centre of attention. It's okay to enjoy that day and look forward to the spectacle, but it can't be the only reason. Marriage is more than just the one day you get up in front of people and say 'I do'. Not that I want to get too personal, RV, but you said that the two of you have cheated on each other a few times too, right? Do you think that she is in a position to be completely committed and faithful for the rest of her life? I assume you're not entirely sure for your part, either that or you have other reasons for not getting married. It's more complicated due to your lad and the other kid on the way though. They have to come first and you have to do what's best for them. I'm sure they'd both be better off growing up with their dad living with them and their parents being together. The only scenario I'd say that wasn't for the best is if you and your missus don't love each other. I don't think a loveless marriage is a good environment for a kid to grow up in, personally. I think you have to weigh up the good and bad and make the decision that is best for your kids, because they are the most important thing. I understand it must be a difficult time of your life right now, with your girlfriend giving you an ultimatum like this, another nipper on the way and the realisation you're going to have to make some big changes. Maybe this is a good time to make a fresh start. Get married, kick the drugs for good and realise you're lucky that you have a home and a family who loves you. Edited July 12, 2014 by Ginko 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 (edited) Okay, mentioned this in passing on the "things that piss you off" thread, but here goes. Met this girl by chance, really good conversation, hit it off, etc etc, she asked me for my number. Texted her two days after that (i.e. yesterday), asking about something about her that I was curious about. She took a while to reply, two texts (that didn't feel as great as our face-to-face conversation did) later I decided to, uh, show that I was doing something by waiting for an hour before responding. Anyway, long story short, the conversation could have been better, but eventually I asked her if she was free this weekend. "Not this weekend, but I'm probably free the next" she replied. "Why?" I told her that since we don't share classes, I'd like to keep in contact with her, and I told her that I'd like to grab a bite with her or something, maybe show her around the place (she's new to the city). Took her 2 hours I think, maybe more? before she replied, but basically she said that she'll be free next weekend. Now, because I'd been waiting for hours for her reply (and gotten a bit sick of it), I decided to play some games by putting off my reply until the following morning, i.e. today. It was already almost 10 by then anyway. No reply from her since then, none at all, and it's been the entire freaking day. Any advice? No corny jokes please, the last time I asked for advice on this thread... Edit: Actually, more concerned about what's going on in her bloody mind than really needing advice on what to do! Edited July 24, 2014 by legov Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts