lapal_fan Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 44 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: Busy day? 5 mins and between calls that was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 3 hours ago, lapal_fan said: "we were 2-0 down at half time and I knew a ruddy good rollocking was afoot. As I walked into the dressing room, I sat behind Kevo, who was a giant brick shithouse of a man.. Like, seriously, he made Akinfenwa look like a child. The gaffer came in (we like to call our manager "the gaffer", because we saw it once in a footballing book and it felt really cool), his eyes scanned the room several times. He couldn't see me behind Kevo, as I sat back to back with him, and my knees tucked up into my chest. "WHERE IS THAT clearing in the woods?!" he yelled. I nudged Kevo with my elbow into the small of his back to prompt him to say something. "Whom gaffer? Whom is it you are searching for?" (Kevo was a right smartarse) "LAP YOU DONUT! HE SPENT THE LAST 45 **** MINUTES SHOOTING TOWARDS HIS OWN GOAL, SCORING TWO.. ADMIITTEDLY STUNNING GOALS IN THE PROCESS!!! THE SECOND ONE IN PARTICULAR WOULD HAVE BEEN A HIGHLIGHT HAD IT HAVE BEEN IN THE OPPONENTS GOAL!!" - he was very concise was, gaffer. It was as soon as gaffer finished shouting I did a rather large pump, and because my knees were tucked upwards, it created the perfect angle for a audible tone. My eyes widened, knowing gaffer would have heard it "PARDON ME!" shouted Kevo. His response was so quick, the gaffer bought it. "THANK YOU KEVO, FOR YOUR HONESTY. I WOULD HAVE BLAMED THE WRONG PERSON HAD YOU NOT ADMITTED THAT TRUMP. BECAUSE OF THE HARD SURFACES IN THIS CHANGING ROOM, I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS SMOGGY OVER THERE." He pointed at Smoggy, who was famed for his loose sphincter muscles, often causing him to trump. For some unknown reason, the gaffer singling out poor Smoggy for his lack of arse control made me think of all the bad things happening in the world, and I sensitively began to cry. It was a sort of, odd cry to start with, very sniffley, but I was soon sobbing at all of the injustices in the world. I stood up from behind Kevo.. "I'm sorry for crying everyone. And gaffer, I'm sorry for scoring two own goals, but I forgot we were playing in a competitive F.A sanctioned match because there's no crowd, I just thought we were having a laugh.. But let me ask you this Gaffer (his real name was Gaffer Waffer, so occasionally I'd call him by his real name for important moments like this)" I paused, the whole dressing room was focused on me and I knew I had to hit this out of the ball park - or else I would be sold to another football club, maybe somewhere like Altricingham or something.. "Is this football match as important as all of the bad things happening in the (pause)... ENTIRE WORLD??!!!!" BOOM - I had dropped a bomb. Not just any bomb, but a really big one, even bigger than the Tsar bomb, which from a Google informs me is the biggest testing bomb ever, so pretty big really.. Kevo, who was also by now, crying - started to clap and chant "LAP IS THE BEST, Da, Da, Da! LAP IS THE BEST, Da, Da, Da!" After about 10-15 minutes, Smoggy joined in, then Jaffer, then Bagsy, then Joy, then Mavis, then Battersby, then Rafkins, then Vice, then the chair man and after about another 45 minutes, Gaffer joined in too! Boy was I happy. I was surrounded by every footballer in the world, all of the refs and everyone.. chanting MY name. The Gaffer eventually said "LAP, YOU'RE RIGHT, THOSE TWO GOALS MEAN SHIT ALL - HERE, HAVE A NEW CONTRACT WHICH GUARANTEES YOU TO BE THE TOP PAID FOOTBALLER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" I turned around and said "Cheers", went out for the second half on my own and beat the Charlton under 9s girls team all on my own... 15-2. After the game, I went up the steps of Wembley (we were playing at Wembley, I forgot to put) and the main person from FIFA gave me a trophy the size of a narrow boat and said "Congratulations Lap, you've won all of the trophies around the world in history". I turned around and smirked and said "yep, I have" and all the fit women went out with me. The end (5* "Incredible writing style, his prose are excellent an'that - the Independent) (10/10 - "the best book ever, even better than the bible" - Charlton Heston) (9/9 - "I am tall" - a Giraffe called Edward, Kidderminster Safari Park) 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted April 8, 2021 Share Posted April 8, 2021 3 minutes ago, Xela said: I'm the same with all your posts 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 (edited) Why a certain Leedszzzz fan who frequents this forum is ON this forum commenting when his team are actually playing. Why not comment on a Leedszzz forum? Very odd, and maybe obsessive. Edited April 10, 2021 by rjw63 stupid fooking typo 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvfcRigo82 Posted April 10, 2021 Share Posted April 10, 2021 4 hours ago, rjw63 said: Why a certain Leedszzzz fan who frequents this forum is ON this forum commenting when his team are actually playing. Why not comment on a Leedszzz forum? Very odd, and maybe obsessive. Doesn't help when some posters keep quoting him and engaging either. Sadly, It makes the ignore feature a bit pointless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted April 10, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 10, 2021 What exactly the hell are people still finding to write about in The Royal Family thread. I'm not going in to find out because I can imagine what it's like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 12, 2021 Author VT Supporter Share Posted April 12, 2021 Somebody mentioned Don Letts' R6 show in the virus thread, which reminded me about this. Now what little I know about DL is that he's a dreadlocked reggae type who used to hang around with The Clash. So I was staggered to discover that in 2013 he had "Living in a Small Town" by Welsh act Zervas and Pepper as his record of the week, and played the hell out of it. Now as you know, I like that sort of Laurel Canyon-y singer songwriter soft rock, but this is so unbelievably bland that it makes The Carpenters sound like Napalm Death. Don Letts liked this? Really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted April 12, 2021 Moderator Share Posted April 12, 2021 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: Somebody mentioned Don Letts' R6 show in the virus thread, which reminded me about this. Now what little I know about DL is that he's a dreadlocked reggae type who used to hang around with The Clash. Twas me, in the BBC topic. Did him being in Big Audio Dynamite completely pass you by? I'm not really a fan of Don Letts' show tbh His musical radar really isn't in synch with mine. It goes all over the place, if he plays reggae I like, it'll be a well known classic, if he plays reggae I don't know, I generally won't like it. An awful lot of the other stuff he plays (which is probably 80% of the show) I find very uninteresting He's one of those people whose back story is interesting but his current taste leaves me cold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted April 12, 2021 Share Posted April 12, 2021 Don Lett’s radio show: I don’t bother with it, too poor a chaff to wheat ratio. Don Lett’s live set: superb, ticks all the boxes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted April 12, 2021 Author VT Supporter Share Posted April 12, 2021 4 hours ago, bickster said: Twas me, in the BBC topic. Did him being in Big Audio Dynamite completely pass you by? Rings vague bells. Never consciously listened to them. Still doesn't fit in with that Zervas & Pepper AOR/MOR. Although I guess he's getting on a bit now (he's been on Gardeners' World). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted April 12, 2021 Moderator Share Posted April 12, 2021 11 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Still doesn't fit in with that Zervas & Pepper AOR/MOR. Most of his show isn't reggae, his tastes are quite eclectic and catholic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoelVilla Posted April 12, 2021 Share Posted April 12, 2021 (edited) On 10/04/2021 at 15:14, rjw63 said: Why a certain Leedszzzz fan who frequents this forum is ON this forum commenting when his team are actually playing. Why not comment on a Leedszzz forum? Very odd, and maybe obsessive. Today again. Over 2000 posts. Are the Leeds forums really that bad? Edited April 12, 2021 by NoelVilla 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post limpid Posted April 12, 2021 Administrator Popular Post Share Posted April 12, 2021 2 hours ago, NoelVilla said: Today again. Over 2000 posts. Are the Leeds forums really that bad? All other forums are that bad. 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted April 12, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 12, 2021 2 hours ago, NoelVilla said: Today again. Over 2000 posts. Are the Leeds forums really that bad? I do wonder how many other teams forums all the Leeds fans are on. Is it just ours or are they also on Newcastles, Brightons, Leicester etc? I feel like it's just ours, which is kinda sweet in a horrible wish it wasn't the case kinda way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted April 12, 2021 Share Posted April 12, 2021 1 hour ago, Rds1983 said: I do wonder how many other teams forums all the Leeds fans are on. Is it just ours or are they also on Newcastles, Brightons, Leicester etc? I feel like it's just ours, which is kinda sweet in a horrible wish it wasn't the case kinda way. To be fair I’m only here to chat about holiday homes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted April 12, 2021 Share Posted April 12, 2021 5 hours ago, limpid said: All other forums are that bad. "Alexa, stop listening to our convos" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted April 13, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 13, 2021 10 hours ago, chrisp65 said: To be fair I’m only here to chat about holiday homes. https://www.laymyhat.com/ Enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted April 13, 2021 Share Posted April 13, 2021 11 hours ago, Rds1983 said: I do wonder how many other teams forums all the Leeds fans are on. Is it just ours or are they also on Newcastles, Brightons, Leicester etc? I feel like it's just ours, which is kinda sweet in a horrible wish it wasn't the case kinda way. I'm not a member on anyone else's but I do have a look when we play them or grealish does something incredible or there's a bad ref decision just to see what the general consensus is From memory Leeds main forum is the only one I've ever seen that on their on topic forum they have a sticky containing links to every other club forum that has a Leeds thread so that they can monitor it daily and talk about us talking about them 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted April 13, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted April 13, 2021 29 minutes ago, villa4europe said: I'm not a member on anyone else's but I do have a look when we play them or grealish does something incredible or there's a bad ref decision just to see what the general consensus is From memory Leeds main forum is the only one I've ever seen that on their on topic forum they have a sticky containing links to every other club forum that has a Leeds thread so that they can monitor it daily and talk about us talking about them That needs posting on the Leeds forum so they can talk about us talking about them talking about us talking about them. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 18, 2021 Share Posted April 18, 2021 Are sunroofs still a thing in cars? I mean the opening ones (electric or wind tilt or slide) as opposed to the fixed panoramic ones. I miss them as the last 4 cars I've had haven't had them. I just get the feeling they're not popular anymore? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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