HolteEndRob Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 One of my pals met his current mrs on an internet dating site. He's been with her for 3 years now, could be 4 years actually! She's good looking and she's a really nice girl too. He tried to keep it quiet to us about how he met her by telling us he pulled her in a bar in the Arcadian which we knew was bullshit because he's really shy. Anyway it turns out that she had signed up on there because she was really shy too and found it hard to chat up men on nights out etc. I can definitely see why some people turn to these websites and quite clearly it helps for some. Personally if I was single I'm not sure that I would be comfortable using a dating website. I don't know, it just doesn't seem right. As I said though I can see why people turn to these websites and at the end of the day if it's working for them then fair play to them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrDuck Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 I've never dated a website. That would just be weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b6bloke Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Internet dating is a bloody minefield mate! The minus's outweigh the positives in my opinion but I have had some fantastic laughs, scary moments and great conversation breakers There are some decent women on there and I have met some really good friends on these sites, yes I have dated a few of them but there is something I just can't work out which is missing that differes from meetiing someone in a pub or at work etc. **** I could write a book on this but a few pointers! Esteem. You really need to have some! At one point I was having about 1 to 3 dates a week and there are times when a woman may just say that she does not fancy you or there was no spark, I get it myself and a lot of people on there accept it as they have become acustomed to it as it happens more often than not. I know a lot of blokes are worse for it from the stories I have heard off the ladies but trust me that there are a lot of insercure women out there and there are quite often times where you can be getting on well with someone on the phone and e-mail then they just vanish before meeting or just don't turn up. Its a great ego boost to have someone showing an interwst in you but when it comes to the crunch they may back out, its the thrill of the chase some will say which is true in some cases but others you have just boosted their esteem falsley and will be back doing the same again in a few weeks time. For any women reading this the blokes are far worse with this as like the women they are quite unaware that they are doing this and it was not their intention but the blokes take it further, you have a lot of married guys who haven't got the balls to walk out of a bad relationship and use some of the women on the site for the thrill of the chase and while a lot just don't turn up on the date some get the shag and do a runner. The Sweet shop syndrome:This is a very popular one with the women! Bear in mind that a man may get a couple of messages a week, a woman no matter what she looks like will get 50 to a 100 messages a week, if you send a message that stands out then you start to converse by mail and run the usuall course to meet on a date, you get on really well and then she says the "no spark" line. Well I know a lot of women who have confirmed this but if you imagine all these guys messaging them and making them feel pretty good, they get spoilt for choice and are always wondering if the next date could be better so a chain begins. How long before a date? ASAP!! When I first starting using dating sites one of the baptisms of fire was 3 weeks of contact with a girl beginning with messages on the site, then e-mails, then texts followed by calls, 4 to 5 hour converstions nightly only to meet up and there was not a spark for either of us and we were out of each others company withing 15 mins! The problem with doing the above is that you start to build up a picture of someone but in reality they never are what you think, now I dont mean they are bad but how can you decide hopw someone is unless you have met them? The other thing is that one of the overall factors of a date not going anywhere is "chemistry" You can't get it on the phone and certainly not by mail, I have been on some dates with some cracking looking women but there was just no spark. I found on the paying sites every women insisted on meeting sooner rather than later, not just because of the above but because they have other blokes that they can agree to meet and don't be shocked if they mention that they have a date later that week as some do, I had 2 in a day once! The Date: Don't go for a meal! You will find it gets expensive, I have only ever been on one date where a woman has not gone dutch on drinks though I tend not to drink beer on a date as I have found my judgment gets a little clouded and have ended up in difficult situations where I have ended up in a snog or more only to realise the next time we meet that I don't feel the same. I never call the first time we meet a date as I think it adds a little presure to the situation, I usually say that if you agree to meet again then thats a date as there must be some interest for them to want to go out again. The hardest part is at the end of the date as its always uneasy for each or both in the final words as you sometimes want to tell them you would like to see them again but your not sure if they want to and vice versa but with the ones I have dated it was just obvious but is one date really enough to decide if you like them? sometimes but not always. Profiles: Look at the pictures very carefully and ask yourself why there is not a body shot and have they put up a picture that is true to life, I get sick of these bloody make over photos that girls put up. I have had that many dates where the woman is nothing like the picture, I make it pretty clear on my profile what I am looking for as I have dated some fuller figured women who are dam sexy so there is no reason for them to lie really and the same goes for you. One girl was so nothing like her pic that I really wanted to just drive off but I did not want to shallow so went ahead, she was such an arrogant cow too so that was a no brainer! Look for the signs of women who are straight out of relationships as some of these on on there in a NEED to be with someone out of a fear of being alone, the profile gives it away a lot of the time with things like "single again" or "broken heart needs mending" and "back again" I really feel for these girls as the rocket polisher population on men on there really pray on these girls and it **** me off. My friend is one of these girls and the guy she is seeing was showing signs of this but a little word of warning to him in the toilet in the Royal in a few Saturdays ago earned me a phonecall off my friend thanking me as he has suddenly changed his behaviour I had quite a few dates where the woman has just gassed on about her ex, one was in tears saying he dumped her by text and I am just sitting there ripping the hair out of my nose to ease the pain on my ears! :evil: Distance: I have made the mistake of spreading my search a bit further than i should of and this can be a pain if travel all the way to meet them in leicester and there is no spark or you start seeing them and the journey becomes a pain so stay local, meeting one in Bridgenorth on Sunday and even that is too far. I like to chat to the women in the states as they are far fitter than in the UK and really are a great chat apart from one really religious freak who forever preaches versus out the bible to me (though she has the most amazing chest and her facebook pictures are a sight to behold!) I am off to New York later in the year and have arranged a couple of dates for me and a mate and even managed to get him a supplier for his weed through there I will add a bit more as it comes to mind but I have had some strange times, from having a girl take me to a dogging area instead of the pub, from being stalked and dealing with a drunken girl with a fould mouth who likes to fight on white wine I would say avoid these sites at all cost, yes I have had plenty of non comittal sex but I have never ever lied to get one of these girls into bed and never will. I don't go on as often as I did though I am meeting a girl on Sunday but like all the other dates I just don't even get nervous and I miss that. 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b6bloke Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Woah. Plenty of Fish works? I thought you had to pay for parts of it too? FWIW, I can see why people would use these sites and it is pretty interesting but I'm not sure I could ever seriously use one and i definitely wouldnt go about paying for one. Plenty of Freaks I call it but money is tight so it helps. It is defo one of the worst I have been on but jut have to be a little more choosy and carefull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Cracking read, b6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 5, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 5, 2011 I think the "older people" comment could be right - middle-aged divorcees etc. probably find it awkward being so far "out of the habit" of meeting people, and the usual venues seem to be oriented to younger people. Obviously doesn't apply to me, happily married, blah blah, but a mate of mine (same age, late 50s) recently joined Match.com. Now, given that a lot of the blokes on there are probably either (a) married and after a bit on the side, or ( socially inadequate weirdos, my mate is like gold dust - he's a nice bloke, well-educated, has his own house and is in a professional career (he's a clinical psychologist) - and he's recently widowed. So, sympathy effect, money and no baggage. As you can imagine, he's been swamped with interested women. Funny thing is, he's so far not actually met any of them - says it just feels a bit odd, and they are actually TOO keen - I think he fears gold diggers. I'm sure he will soon though, and I'll get the lowdown over a few beers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted May 5, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 5, 2011 Cracking read, b6. Agreed, you should write a book! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted May 5, 2011 Author VT Supporter Share Posted May 5, 2011 hahah b6bloke that's a very good read! So in your experience which site is the best and why? Also - what's the weirdest date you've been on? Sounds like you have a few stories to tell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 5, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 5, 2011 Oh no... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 I think I was in early on the internet dating thing , would have been around 1998 still a time of dial-up for most users .. most of the sites had more women than men on them back then ( it was free for men ) .. you'd set-up your profile ,and the site would try and match people based around your interests ..of course usually you'd look at pictures of fit birds and adjust your interests to match :-) but tbh I wasn't there to find a long term relationship at that point in my life just to have a bit of fun ( i was 28 and had spent 11 years in one relationship) I had my picture on my profile , not that I look like Brad Pitt just that by having a picture you got a better response and I'd log on and usually have about 5 or 6 women say "hello" fairly quickly and then you could chat a bit and decide if you wanted to add them as a friend .... some girls you'd just met with and nothing would come of it , some became a bit more involved , tbh it was kind of like facebook is now (or was anyway) it was strangely addictive and I got to met some really nice people , some are still friends now Yeah some were a bit weird , one girl I'd seen a few times and I stayed at her house on a sat night then got up early to go to play football on Sunday morning , at half time i checked my phone and I had about 37 messages asking where i was and "i need you" .. this went on for a while so had to change my mobile number after that one I met a South African girl on it and went out with her for about 6 months (she was still living in SA when I first got talking to her and she came to the uk to study , she was a nice girl didn't really want to go out with her tbh as we'd become great mates .. she doesn't talk to me anymore as I finished with her and it hurt her I got invited to Latvia by one girl ( she was well cute) and as I like to travel I thought why not .. was really quite paranoid before i went that I was going to get to the airport and be mugged so i left all my credit cards at home and didn't take anything valuable with me but my fears were mistaken I had a great weekend out there , she showed me around Latvia , told me a bit about the Russian occupation and eventual freedom protests , she had been arrested for laying flowers on a statue which was outlawed by the Ruskies as it was seen as anti Russian The thing was with most of the people I'd met is that you'd already spoken , had a laugh with them , found out lots about them and decided you wanted to meet , I honestly think in a lot of cases I could have turned up with 2 heads and it wouldn't have mattered .. internet dating gives you a chance to find out personality and something about them , you may not necessarily find that out about someone you "pull" in a bar or nightclub .. tbh the sort of girl that would pull me in a bar isn't the sort of girl I'd want to have a relationship with either , but it's horses for courses I guess I get the impression that the dating sites aren't like that any more though , I saw an ad for one that seemed to be specifically for married people to cheat on their partners with , and that is a tad sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 5, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted May 5, 2011 I do think that the internet has revived the potential - as Tony says - for getting to know people via a form of correspondence (like the Victorians used to use letter writing), rather than just meeting people in pubs and clubs who may be superficially attractive but no more. In that sense it's strangely old-fashioned (in a good way). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b6bloke Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 hahah b6bloke that's a very good read! So in your experience which site is the best and why? Also - what's the weirdest date you've been on? Sounds like you have a few stories to tell! Now one of the biggest **** ups (or cons by the sites) is that a lot of them are owned by the same people, I was on Match which is ok and was seeing girls profiles up twice, not only that I would go on a date and the girl would ask"how long have you been on dating direct" only to find out that if you are a member of Match your profile shows on there too and vice versa. I would mail some of the ones whos profiles came up twicw and it transpired that they were members of both until I told them what was going on, also got a few dates froim those messages I would say Match as you end up on both anyway and as they are paying you get more serious people on there as they are forking out, they also give you 6 months free if you dont find anybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b6bloke Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Well for the time being this is the end for me, no more midgets, no more crazy unwanted/unexpected dates taking me to dogging car parks, women wanting me to be their master, no more predicaments of women looking 10 years older than their picture and most of all no more stalkers. I have not only met someone but if you believe there is such thing as a soul mate then this woman is it, goodbye internet dating thread its been an experiance and it was fun, maybe meet again on the relationship break up, need to vent thread but lets hope not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 :cry: Thanks b6. Its been.......emotional. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Pah, close the thread. No point to it without b6's sex-pest antics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b6bloke Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Pah, close the thread. No point to it without b6's sex-pest antics. No! I am not the only one who uses these and friends who use them come out with some crackers. My only advice is avoid them like the plague and most of the successful dates I have seen have been from early encounters, like me being this girls first date. Something happens after being on loads of dates, I dont know what but where as putting 2 virgins together is not good, putting together 2 serial daters is also. I am grabbing my chance and getting the **** out and the fact that she is my dream woman makes that even easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Great news! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 my best advice would be if you meet someone online. ask her to get skype, all she needs is a web cam (who doesnt have one of them?) then if she refuses you know she looks like a dogs bottom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodgyknees Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 I tried it a little while back, POF is definitely full of quick shags. If you need a pit stop, join. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 facebooks a better way of picking up women. some horny bitches on there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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