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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63
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1 hour ago, troon_villan said:

If there are 3 and they are all vacant then you go for the furthest away imo.  Etiquette.  

There was an early episode of mythbusters that looked into the premise that people were lazy and so would go the closest, so for the cleanest stall, you should go for the furthest.  But it turns out most people actually go for the furthest, so the closest one gets significantly less use. I changed my stall selection habits immediately and now always go for the closest.

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16 minutes ago, foreveryoung said:

Back onto the having a poo topic. I cannot believe you guys have a poo at work. I don't think I ever have, unless I really had too, like really had too. It's the written rule, no poo poos at work.

220 work days a year * Avg Visit time = X

X * 40 ish years working  = a lot of time. 

Best use theirs rather than your time.  + loo roll over that time.

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9 minutes ago, Davkaus said:

There was an early episode of mythbusters that looked into the premise that people were lazy and so would go the closest, so for the cleanest stall, you should go for the furthest.  But it turns out most people actually go for the furthest, so the closest one gets significantly less use. I changed my stall selection habits immediately and now always go for the closest.

God yeah.  If I need a shit I'm going to the absolute nearest one.  No way I'm driving to John O'Groats trying to hold a load in. 

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Maybe I am just mentally scarred. Back in the old building where I used to work, the toilets used to be in like a separate room, with the Kitchen, single cubicle mens and ladies toilets. So basically if you had a number 2, you would flush, an sometimes walk out, just as the office hottie was coming out of the kitchen with her posh salad, or after doing her face in the cubicle right next to you. It could be very embarrassing if you'd been on the lash or had a vindaloo the night before.

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28 minutes ago, foreveryoung said:

Back onto the having a poo topic. I cannot believe you guys have a poo at work. I don't think I ever have, unless I really had too, like really had too. It's the written rule, no poo poos at work.

Unfortunately having a chronic disease means I don't have that choice! :D 

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2 minutes ago, Xela said:

Unfortunately having a chronic disease means I don't have that choice! :D 

I remember being stuck in stationary traffic on the M1 once,  had a dodgy curry the night before, so I may know how you feel. Never never again.

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1 hour ago, bickster said:

9:30 - 10:00 Bicks has a shit. Every day

Why shit on your own time when you can get paid for it

Definitely my motto at work also. 

At a couple of places I also set myself a challenge to use as many toilets as I could. One previous job was at Bath Uni, not sure whether I completed all male/unisex public toilets on campus but can't have been far off in my time there. 

 

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9 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

At the Isle of Wight festival , fairly near the front for the James set … some Instgrmana wannabe pushes past  everyone , gets into position and starts doing her poses… does her photos looks at them on her phone and  sees me In the background of every photo looking pissed, tongue out , sticking my fiingers up

tuts loudly And storms  off

 

My work Here is done 

I went to see Oasis in Manchester in about 2001/2 kind of time. 
Some hard bastard thought he was gonna turn up last minute and push his way to the front. Turns out there’s always a bigger fish. It was hilarious for everyone else and he scuttled back trying to collect as much blood from his nose as possible.

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1 hour ago, foreveryoung said:

I remember being stuck in stationary traffic on the M1 once,  had a dodgy curry the night before, so I may know how you feel. Never never again.

I won't go into too much detail but I remember being on a packed train, convinced I was seconds away from shitting myself. I'd even accepted it in my mind and was working out my exit strategy from the train*

 

*I didn't shit myself in the end

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14 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

At the Isle of Wight festival , fairly near the front for the James set … some Instgrmana wannabe pushes past  everyone , gets into position and starts doing her poses… does her photos looks at them on her phone and  sees me In the background of every photo looking pissed, tongue out , sticking my fiingers up

tuts loudly And storms  off

 

My work Here is done 

Makes me angry just reading it. I mean, who likes James?

:trollface:

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15 hours ago, Seat68 said:

In fairness, during the last 18 months I have been the office hottie. 

Your only fans confirms this you bald caravan owning sex Deacon.

Edited by AVFC_Hitz
Pavel Srnacek
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11 hours ago, Eidolon said:

I got the news today that I don't have Huntington's disease which is.....very very very much something to be cheerful about :D

Excellent news

Your 2 posts today puts you way ahead on the leaderboard. It will take some extremely hilarious gif for someone to get past. 😁

 

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