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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


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On 19/11/2020 at 11:49, Amsterdam_Neil_D said:
On 19/11/2020 at 11:20, Wainy316 said:

Seems like a few flu jab letters have gone out in error.  The wife got one too.

I have had it for as long as I can remember.  It really works.

It's why I will always pay my bear tax. Not a single attack ever.

 

No I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I was just jokin' for teh lulz

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3 hours ago, bickster said:

You should try...

I was parked in a layby and someone crashed into me.  My penis was bitten off on impact....

 

I used to work in insurance fraud investigation, specifically uninsured and untaxed accidents and I've seen all sorts from alleged 5-year whiplash to the deaths of everyone involved.. I've not had one admit to dogging

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I could fill a whole thread with some of the best and weirdest accidents I've investigated including a ferret in a bucket flying out of the passenger window to a 4 v 5 ethnically-charged beatdown involving pepper spray. It's really a wild world 

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Ordered an UGG care kit for the missus, £12, to go with some new boots I’ve bought her for Christmas. It was delivered today, opened the box to find a brand new pair of £200 boots. No care kit. I checked the emails and my bank, I’ve definitely only been charged £12, and the order shows that the care kit was delivered. 

Unfortunately they’re the wrong size for her, so they’ll go on eBay instead. I could return them, but where’s the fun in that?
 

 

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Commentator on BBC’s coverage of Stevenage vs Hull doing some of the best Partridge I’ve heard in a while.

Stand out examples include:

”it’s King Arthur stuff here for Stevenage, except it’s not the round table, it’s the third round!”

followed during the 7th round of penalties by

”well, I have to start another sheet of paper here, I hadn’t accounted for so many penalties, but we are where we are”

 

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3 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

Commentator on BBC’s coverage of Stevenage vs Hull doing some of the best Partridge I’ve heard in a while.

Stand out examples include:

”it’s King Arthur stuff here for Stevenage, except it’s not the round table, it’s the third round!”

followed during the 7th round of penalties by

”well, I have to start another sheet of paper here, I hadn’t accounted for so many penalties, but we are where we are”

A few years ago, when Emley went a long way in the Cup, and got a live BBC1 game, I was really disappointed that they didn't use Pink Floyd's "See 'Emley' Play" ("Three games from May...") 

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