bickster Posted November 19, 2020 Moderator Share Posted November 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: I have had it for as long as I can remember. It really works. Had it for the first time this year, mainly to shut the missus and daughter up. As I'm absolutely convinced I've never had the Flu ever 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted November 19, 2020 Share Posted November 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, bickster said: Had it for the first time this year, mainly to shut the missus and daughter up. As I'm absolutely convinced I've never had the Flu ever You would know if you had it for real, I have had it where I could hardly move for 2 days. To put it in perspective, I couldn't (and didn't want to) even watch TV or play the Playstation / Internet. Even it it prevents you having that once in your life, for the 30 seconds it takes I reckon its a good thing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Follyfoot Posted November 19, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted November 19, 2020 18 hours ago, NoelVilla said: I showed my successor some of the work I do today. She asked a really dumb question. She obviously don't have the merits for the job, I have laughed at this all day. There is dumb questions and this make wonder what basic knowledges she lacks. Sorry for the ones I like who I leave but it's still funny. She tidy like? Dumb and tidy ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 19, 2020 Share Posted November 19, 2020 4 hours ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: You would know if you had it for real, I have had it where I could hardly move for 2 days. To put it in perspective, I couldn't (and didn't want to) even watch TV or play the Playstation / Internet. Even it it prevents you having that once in your life, for the 30 seconds it takes I reckon its a good thing. I know when i've got the flu... i don't have enough energy to knock one out while watching Pornhub, A common cold? No problem whatsoever. Covid? Didn't miss a beat, quite literally. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fightoffyour Posted November 20, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted November 20, 2020 "We've got your contact details in relation to a road traffic accident in which you were involved in the last 2 years, is that right?" "Yes, that's right." "And the accident wasn't your fault, correct?" "No, it wasn't my fault." "What we're your injuries?" "I died." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 21 hours ago, Follyfoot said: She tidy like? Dumb and tidy ? I want to know what the question was first; then if she was tidy. Thirdly, would @rjw63DHUTWU ? Actually, forget question no.3..... i mean, does a bear sh1t in the woods !? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 20, 2020 Author Share Posted November 20, 2020 (edited) 36 minutes ago, fightoffyour said: "We've got your contact details in relation to a road traffic accident in which you were involved in the last 2 years, is that right?" "Yes, that's right." "And the accident wasn't your fault, correct?" "No, it wasn't my fault." "What we're your injuries?" "I died." I've done that numerous times, only I change the last line to "everybody got killed except me". I've had a range of reactions, from disgust to slamming the phone down. In other words, result. Edited November 20, 2020 by rjw63 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 20, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted November 20, 2020 2 hours ago, fightoffyour said: "We've got your contact details in relation to a road traffic accident in which you were involved in the last 2 years, is that right?" "Yes, that's right." "And the accident wasn't your fault, correct?" "No, it wasn't my fault." "What we're your injuries?" "I died." Had one like this a while ago. They kept telling me I could get £10,000 for my injuries. I kept saying I couldn’t. They kept saying I could. I told them I didn’t have any injuries and they responded that all I had to do was say I did and I’d be immediately 10k richer. I countered that I couldn’t possibly have been injured as I was in the restaurant when my parked car was slightly bumped. Even then that didn’t deter them. We all complain about our insurance premiums but if insurance companies stopped selling our details to these ambulance chasers, they wouldn’t keep getting stung for compensation. Anyway, what’s the title of this thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bickster Posted November 20, 2020 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted November 20, 2020 2 hours ago, rjw63 said: I've done that numerous times, only I change the last line to "everybody got killed except me". I've had a range of reactions, from disgust to slamming the phone down. In other words, result. You should try... I was parked in a layby and someone crashed into me. My penis was bitten off on impact.... 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted November 20, 2020 Moderator Share Posted November 20, 2020 54 minutes ago, bickster said: I was parked in a layby and someone crashed into me. My penis was bitten of on impact.... I bet they're dogged by that sort of claim. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 20, 2020 Moderator Share Posted November 20, 2020 On 19/11/2020 at 11:49, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: On 19/11/2020 at 11:20, Wainy316 said: Seems like a few flu jab letters have gone out in error. The wife got one too. I have had it for as long as I can remember. It really works. It's why I will always pay my bear tax. Not a single attack ever. No I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I was just jokin' for teh lulz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 3 hours ago, bickster said: You should try... I was parked in a layby and someone crashed into me. My penis was bitten off on impact.... I used to work in insurance fraud investigation, specifically uninsured and untaxed accidents and I've seen all sorts from alleged 5-year whiplash to the deaths of everyone involved.. I've not had one admit to dogging Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 I could fill a whole thread with some of the best and weirdest accidents I've investigated including a ferret in a bucket flying out of the passenger window to a 4 v 5 ethnically-charged beatdown involving pepper spray. It's really a wild world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post bickster Posted November 20, 2020 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted November 20, 2020 Came home from work and the missus seems a little short with me... I'm puzzled but hope whatever is causing the problem will disappear. I go to the bathroom to wash my hands and go backdownstairs again and put the kettle on The missus gives me a very terse... "Who has sent your flowers! They are on the table!" and flounces off Me, I'm like WTF and go to investigate the flowerrs. Send from Waitrose, addressed to me. I'm thinking this is mighty odd, I've never been sent flowers before... ever! Opens up the box... they are from Waitrose themselves. I retire to the man cave and laugh The missus waits two minutes and then comes to ask me who they are from I laugh again and tell her to go look for herself Thanks for the flowers Waitrose, cheered me up no end but not in the way you expected them too The missus is now happy but also a little sheepish We thinks its because we haven't been using the loyalty card for months because it basically fell off my keyring and we need a replacement but can't be arsed to get one 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lapal_fan Posted November 20, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted November 20, 2020 2 minutes ago, bickster said: Came home from work and the missus seems a little short with me... I'm puzzled but hope whatever is causing the problem will disappear. I go to the bathroom to wash my hands and go backdownstairs again and put the kettle on The missus gives me a very terse... "Who has sent your flowers! They are on the table!" and flounces off Me, I'm like WTF and go to investigate the flowerrs. Send from Waitrose, addressed to me. I'm thinking this is mighty odd, I've never been sent flowers before... ever! Opens up the box... they are from Waitrose themselves. I retire to the man cave and laugh The missus waits two minutes and then comes to ask me who they are from I laugh again and tell her to go look for herself Thanks for the flowers Waitrose, cheered me up no end but not in the way you expected them too The missus is now happy but also a little sheepish We thinks its because we haven't been using the loyalty card for months because it basically fell off my keyring and we need a replacement but can't be arsed to get one I imagine she has to be very territorial being married to such a pussy magnet. Should count herself lucky. 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 20, 2020 Moderator Share Posted November 20, 2020 Just now, lapal_fan said: I imagine she has to be very territorial being married to such a pussy magnet. Should count herself lucky. You are of course, entirely correct 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted November 20, 2020 Share Posted November 20, 2020 4 hours ago, bickster said: You should try... I was parked in a layby and someone crashed into me. My penis was bitten off on impact.... World according to Garp-style. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 21, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted November 21, 2020 It’s very odd and I’m a little bit creeped out by it but mostly I’m just glad that people like this exist... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted November 21, 2020 Share Posted November 21, 2020 1 hour ago, choffer said: It’s very odd and I’m a little bit creeped out by it but mostly I’m just glad that people like this exist... Joe Pasquale’s lad if I am correct. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted November 21, 2020 Share Posted November 21, 2020 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Seat68 said: Joe Pasquale’s lad if I am correct. I didn't know that being an irritating word removed was hereditary. Edited November 21, 2020 by Davkaus 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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