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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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2 hours ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said:

I have had it for as long as I can remember.  It really works.

Had it for the first time this year, mainly to shut the missus and daughter up. As I'm absolutely convinced I've never had the Flu ever

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2 minutes ago, bickster said:

Had it for the first time this year, mainly to shut the missus and daughter up. As I'm absolutely convinced I've never had the Flu ever

You would know if you had it for real,  I have had it where I could hardly move for 2 days.

To put it in perspective,  I couldn't (and didn't want to) even watch TV or play the Playstation / Internet.  

Even it it prevents you having that once in your life,  for the 30 seconds it takes I reckon its a good thing.

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18 hours ago, NoelVilla said:

I showed my successor some of the work I do today. She asked a really dumb question. She obviously don't have the merits for the job, I have laughed at this all day.

There is dumb questions and this make wonder what basic knowledges she lacks. Sorry for the ones I like who I leave but it's still funny.

She tidy like? Dumb and tidy ? 

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4 hours ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said:

You would know if you had it for real,  I have had it where I could hardly move for 2 days.

To put it in perspective,  I couldn't (and didn't want to) even watch TV or play the Playstation / Internet.  

Even it it prevents you having that once in your life,  for the 30 seconds it takes I reckon its a good thing.

I know when i've got the flu... i don't have enough energy to knock one out while watching Pornhub, 

A common cold? No problem whatsoever. Covid? Didn't miss a beat, quite literally. 

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"We've got your contact details in relation to a road traffic accident in which you were involved in the last 2 years, is that right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"And the accident wasn't your fault, correct?"

"No, it wasn't my fault."

"What we're your injuries?"

"I died."

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21 hours ago, Follyfoot said:

She tidy like? Dumb and tidy ? 

I want to know what the question was first; then if she was tidy. Thirdly, would @rjw63DHUTWU ?

Actually, forget question no.3..... i mean, does a bear sh1t in the woods !?

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36 minutes ago, fightoffyour said:

"We've got your contact details in relation to a road traffic accident in which you were involved in the last 2 years, is that right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"And the accident wasn't your fault, correct?"

"No, it wasn't my fault."

"What we're your injuries?"

"I died."

I've done that numerous times, only I change the last line to "everybody got killed except me".

I've had a range of reactions, from disgust to slamming the phone down.

In other words, result.

Edited by rjw63
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2 hours ago, fightoffyour said:

"We've got your contact details in relation to a road traffic accident in which you were involved in the last 2 years, is that right?"

"Yes, that's right."

"And the accident wasn't your fault, correct?"

"No, it wasn't my fault."

"What we're your injuries?"

"I died."

Had one like this a while ago. They kept telling me I could get £10,000 for my injuries. I kept saying I couldn’t. They kept saying I could. 
I told them I didn’t have any injuries and they responded that all I had to do was say I did and I’d be immediately 10k richer. I countered that I couldn’t possibly have been injured as I was in the restaurant when my parked car was slightly bumped. Even then that didn’t deter them. 
We all complain about our insurance premiums but if insurance companies stopped selling our details to these ambulance chasers, they wouldn’t keep getting stung for compensation. 
 

Anyway, what’s the title of this thread? 

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On 19/11/2020 at 11:49, Amsterdam_Neil_D said:
On 19/11/2020 at 11:20, Wainy316 said:

Seems like a few flu jab letters have gone out in error.  The wife got one too.

I have had it for as long as I can remember.  It really works.

It's why I will always pay my bear tax. Not a single attack ever.

 

No I'm not an anti-vaxxer. I was just jokin' for teh lulz

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3 hours ago, bickster said:

You should try...

I was parked in a layby and someone crashed into me.  My penis was bitten off on impact....

 

I used to work in insurance fraud investigation, specifically uninsured and untaxed accidents and I've seen all sorts from alleged 5-year whiplash to the deaths of everyone involved.. I've not had one admit to dogging

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I could fill a whole thread with some of the best and weirdest accidents I've investigated including a ferret in a bucket flying out of the passenger window to a 4 v 5 ethnically-charged beatdown involving pepper spray. It's really a wild world 

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