Ingram85 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 (edited) Computer games Taken for granted these days but it’s amazing that when the world becomes too serious and heavy and life starts getting you down a bit you can just turn on your console and escape to other worlds and do countless manner of things. I love films, tv shows and I love reading but for me nothing beats the immediacy and involvement of gaming. Edited January 16, 2018 by Ingram85 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 On 1/14/2018 at 20:47, Ingram85 said: Computer games Taken for granted for these days but it’s amazing that when the world becomes too serious and heavy and life starts getting you down a bit you can just turn on your console and escape to other worlds and do countless manners of things. I live films, tv shows and I love reading but for me nothing beats the immediacy and involvement of gaming. As a kid in the 70's this was how I was with books. The first book I read outside of picture books was White Fang, and then Call of the Wild. I loved reading based off those, immersing myself in those. Still the case today. Never really been a gamer. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StefanAVFC Posted January 16, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted January 16, 2018 This story is fantastic Quote Recently, I traveled to Denver, Colorado with my wife and my wife's parents. As a resident of a non-legalized state -- and as someone who is too much of a pussy to regularly buy illegal drugs -- the thing I was looking forward to most was the chance to buy fancy legal weed. What could possibly go wrong? So the first thing I do upon arriving (and after successfully ditching the in-laws) is drag my wife to a nearby dispensary for a shopping spree. And oh my god, it was just like in my dreams. Tons of different options in neat little sample jars and a team of helpful stoners walking me through the various strains: "Are you looking for a mellow body high? Or do you want something that gives you a bit more pep and energy? Or are you just hoping for something light to take the stress off?" "Yes, yes and yes!" I reply eagerly, like a fat kid in a candy store, and request an eighth-ounce of about 7 different options. In hindsight, if I learned anything from this experience, it is that my math and science teachers never taught me basic information, like "what is an ounce?" or "how much weed can a person consume in a single weekend?" Sure, I can tell you when two speeding trains leaving separate stations will collide or recite Avogadro's Number, but it turns out that none of that information is particularly relevant to getting high in a responsible and efficient manner. And it was at this dispensary that I also learned that you can't actually smoke in public places (including the hotel that my wife and I were staying at). As a result, before leaving, I begged my wife to buy some edibles that I could munch on until we found a place to properly get lit. After expressing shock as to the absurd volume of drugs that we were buying (unlike me, she is the product of private school and understands the Imperial measurement system) she relents, and we walk out of the store with what felt like a dump truck of weed plus a small package of seemingly-innocuous gingersnap cookies. When we finally get back to the hotel room, I tear those bad boys open... only to find about a dozen tiny cookies roughly the size of a quarter. What the ****, Denver? Seeing the skepticism (and hunger) in my eyes, my wife warns me that I should go easy and look at the back of the package first before trying one. "Dose size: 1/2 cookie," I read silently as I start taking micro-bites from the edges, like a giant chinchilla gnawing on a sunflower seed. But what kind of a savage only eats half a cookie? So a second later, I covertly pop the remainder into my mouth. And then I quickly stuff another two cookies in my mouth for good measure the moment my wife turns her back. We may not have legal weed back home, but I routinely devour an entire package of Milanos in one sitting without breaking a sweat. Your move, tiny gingersnaps. About 30 minutes later we are in the backseat of her parents' rental car on the way to dinner. And that's when things start to go tits-up. My stomach growls. Loudly and angrily. My wife looks at me with inquisitive eyes that seem to say "Diarrhea?" But I merely clutch my tummy and mumble something about altitude sickness. "You didn't eat a whole cookie, did you?" she asks, 10% in genuine concern and 90% in seething irritation. "Of course not." I respond, avoiding eye contact for the remainder of the car ride. A few minutes later we are climbing out of her parents' rental car and heading into some trendy farm-to-table restaurant. I don't remember how I made it to my seat, and I don't remember even looking at the menu, but I do remember the concerned look on the waiter's face as he asked me if I was doing alright. "Keep it together, man," I say to myself. But my wife's sudden groan suggests that I may have also said that to the waiter. Things are going downhill fast. The waiter nods sympathetically, takes our orders, and then heads to the next table. The moment he walks away, my wife is staring daggers at me. I start to worry that the jig is up. "You are sweating... from your entire face," she says with both pity and disgust. Not quite knowing what to do, I reach for my napkin and proceed to blot my cheeks, nose, neck, chin and forehead. At this point, my wife's mom looks over at me with some concern. "Are you alright?" she asks kindly. "Yeah, the food's just a bit spicy," I reply, far too quick to realize that we had literally just ordered and that there is nothing on the table except for a basket of dinner rolls. My wife kicks me under the table to grab my attention. "Bathroom. Now." she hisses. "Get it together." I reluctantly get up from the table and head for the toilet. After splashing several handfuls of water on my face, I approach a urinal and start to pee. Now, one of the more disconcerting effects of those tiny gingersnap monsters is the feeling that time has become untethered from reality. As I am peeing, I start to get the very unsettling feeling that I have been taking a piss for the better part of an hour and that my wife must be pacing around the restaurant worried about me. But deep down I know that is absurd: I've been peeing all my life, sometimes multiple times a day. I've probably taken more than 50,000 leaks, and it usually only takes about a minute at most. So given that my typical pee is no more than 60 seconds -- and given that it feels like I am about half way done -- that means that I've probably only been standing here about 30 seconds, right? But the guy at the urinal next to me doesn't respond, and instead starts shuffling away from me mid-stream, like a startled penguin. I try, albeit unsuccessfully, to break eye-contact. After finally finishing, I again splash some water on my face and return to my seat, making sure to apologize to the table "for being gone such a long time" just in case my math was off. Next, I try briefly to engage in small talk with my wife's father, but I am far too high to understand what either of us are saying. Not wanting to start laughing uncontrollably at the wrong moment -- or, really, at any moment -- I figure the safest idea is to nod my head periodically and drink a ton of water. Nothing cures mental fatigue like water, right? To my wife's horror, I stand up, grab my water glass and thrust it out to the waiter, who unfortunately is on the opposite side of the restaurant. But he turns out to be really cool and, after making his way over to our table, tells me that he'll do his best to keep me stocked with ice water for the rest of the meal. He also helpfully suggests that if the dinner rolls aren't too spicy for me, I should probably eat one or two so that I'm not sitting there on an empty stomach. Smart man. However, after going through all of the bread on the table and three glasses of water, I start to get worried that I need actual food to offset the growing paranoia from those tiny gingersnap devils. "Do you think I should flag down the waiter again and ask what's taking so long?" I suggest helpfully to my wife. "What?! We literally just ordered three **** minutes ago." And at that exchange, my wife loses her cool. "HOW MANY COOKIES DID YOU EAT?!" she demands. "Whoa, easy there, Torquemada," I respond, somewhat horrified at her outburst. "I had a few cookies, but keep it down. I don't want your parents to know how **** up I am right now." "REALLY?! THEY ARE SITTING TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU. THEY KNOW." I look up and for the first time notice both of my in-laws just staring at me... for what literally felt like an eternity. TL;DR: ate way too many edibles on a trip and wigged out during a dinner with my wife and her parents. EDIT: Wow! Thanks everyone for all the love (and for even some of the hate)! I think I have officially peaked in life. As for Part II of the story, there's a reason -- or, technically, 3 delicious reasons -- why it was cut short. At that point, my wife's singular focus was on getting me out of the restaurant before I either puked all over the table or pissed myself (or an unsightly combination of both). So after a few spastic, two-handed waves "good-bye" to my in-laws, she rushed me to the door like a Secret Service agent evacuating the president. My night after that was a whirlwind of barfing and groveling, mixed with a few vain attempts at "getting handsie" back in the hotel room. But being the absolute awesome sweetie that she is, my wife stuck with me through the whole nightmare, whispering over and over in my ear: "Please don't die, we have a mortgage." Quote "You are sweating... from your entire face," she says with both pity and disgust. Not quite knowing what to do, I reach for my napkin and proceed to blot my cheeks, nose, neck, chin and forehead. At this point, my wife's mom looks over at me with some concern. "Are you alright?" she asks kindly. "Yeah, the food's just a bit spicy," I reply, far too quick to realize that we had literally just ordered and that there is nothing on the table except for a basket of dinner rolls. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 (edited) So did he eat the weed or are ginger snaps dangerous to consume? Edit: D’oh I misread it. Edited January 16, 2018 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This Could Be Rotterdam Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 9 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said: This story is fantastic That story is incredibly close to a friend of mine on a trip to Amsterdam we took a few years ago except it was a fast food restaurant, the waiter offered coke and he was in the toilets for what seemed to us (possibly experiencing the same time lapse problem this guy did) about an hour. Ive never seen someone go so pure white so quickly. It was equal parts hilarious and concerning. I lie. It was most definately mostly hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted January 16, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted January 16, 2018 4 minutes ago, Ingram85 said: So did he eat the weed or are ginger snaps dangerous to consume? The snaps are made with cannabis, probably cannabis butter. Weed is processed by the body differently depending on how you 'take' it. Food made with it can be extremely strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Tell you what I bloody love? Boobs And if you're not with me on that then you're gay (only kidding, even gays love the boobies!) YEAAAHHHHH!!!!! Does make me wonder why, subcutaneous fat makes them so fascinating though. Weird innit. And why don't gurlz love em as much as we do? If the theory that it's because they fed us as young'uns is the answer? The best bit is bit pointy bit in the middle innit? Arbeloa or whatever it's called. How did he get a move to Real Madrid? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted January 17, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted January 17, 2018 17 hours ago, lapal_fan said: Tell you what I bloody love? Boobs And if you're not with me on that then you're gay (only kidding, even gays love the boobies!) YEAAAHHHHH!!!!! Does make me wonder why, subcutaneous fat makes them so fascinating though. Weird innit. And why don't gurlz love em as much as we do? If the theory that it's because they fed us as young'uns is the answer? The best bit is bit pointy bit in the middle innit? Arbeloa or whatever it's called. How did he get a move to Real Madrid? Well you know why men are attracted to cleavage? Because it reminds us of women's buttocks. Yeah. Presumably when we were cavemen we used to do you from behind. So Then we evolved and probably turned you round when language came in... to chat... or to look at the breasts that remind us of buttocks. Do you want a starter? "Let's go straight to the main course" Yeah. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCDAN Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 2 hours ago, Stevo985 said: Well you know why men are attracted to cleavage? Because it reminds us of women's buttocks. Spoiler If its all about the arse, why do gays like a bit of tit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 One of my cats has figured out how to partially open the bedside table, and thinks swiping his paw in there until he fishes out underwear is a great game. There were half a dozen pairs just lying on the landing when I got home. It's not my underwear, so I think it's hilarious...The gf, not so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 3 hours ago, Davkaus said: One of my cats has figured out how to partially open the bedside table, and thinks swiping his paw in there until he fishes out underwear is a great game. There were half a dozen pairs just lying on the landing when I got home. It's not my underwear, so I think it's hilarious... My alter ego Janine..not so much. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 the cat's just pissed off it still can't find the fish 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 (edited) Suzy dent looking tasty in 8 out of 10 cats countdown ... Rachel looks like she's been Up all night Edited January 19, 2018 by Meath_Villan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 On 14/01/2018 at 20:47, Ingram85 said: Computer games Taken for granted these days but it’s amazing that when the world becomes too serious and heavy and life starts getting you down a bit you can just turn on your console and escape to other worlds and do countless manner of things. I love films, tv shows and I love reading but for me nothing beats the immediacy and involvement of gaming. Maybe I’m getting old but I’ve lost interest in them in my 20’s we built our own PC’s and played Doom , then Heretic , Hexen before moving onto command and conquer , whilst wasting hours in between playing civilisation games were simple , left , right , up , down and fire ... and of course chicken mode did move onto the N64 and the glorious Goldeneye on split screeen multi player and. Tekken and ISS soccer and then I dunno why but then i suddenly stopped , just too busy maybe ..: my kids got an x-box a couple of years back and I thought I’d be all over it whilst kicking my sons ass at FIFA ... and it just didn’t happen , it’s like the games were all style over substance not so enjoyable .... buggered if I can get to grips with those dual joysticks on call of duty and the like even civilisation that’s probably accounted for more sleepless nights for me than cucumbers for Rugley has lost its appeal ... they released it on the iPad the other week and i downloaded the demo .... and got bored of it in about 20 mins nowdays its it’s all simple apps you play on your phone whilst you sit on the toilet and that’s as far as my attention span goes 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 4 minutes ago, tonyh29 said: Maybe I’m getting old but I’ve lost interest in them in my 20’s we built our own PC’s and played Doom , then Heretic , Hexen before moving onto command and conquer , whilst wasting hours in between playing civilisation games were simple , left , right , up , down and fire ... and of course chicken mode did move onto the N64 and the glorious Goldeneye on split screeen multi player and. Tekken and ISS soccer and then I dunno why but then i suddenly stopped , just too busy maybe ..: my kids got an x-box a couple of years back and I thought I’d be all over it whilst kicking my sons ass at FIFA ... and it just didn’t happen , it’s like the games were all style over substance not so enjoyable .... buggered if I can get to grips with those dual joysticks on call of duty and the like even civilisation that’s probably accounted for more sleepless nights for me than cucumbers for Rugley has lost its appeal ... they released it on the iPad the other week and i downloaded the demo .... and got bored of it in about 20 mins nowdays its it’s all simple apps you play on your phone whilst you sit on the toilet and that’s as far as my attention span goes That's the reason why I lost interest in gaming. I was mad on it, then stopped for a bit, then tried to get back into it, but couldn't work out the controllers. Too many buttons for me, where I was just used to the up, down, across, and maybe one or two buttons on the side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted January 20, 2018 Share Posted January 20, 2018 When you see the weather forecast for the weekend, and say **** it, I'm doing sod all, all weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted January 21, 2018 Share Posted January 21, 2018 Paul Gascoignes twitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted January 22, 2018 Popular Post Share Posted January 22, 2018 (edited) My wife's a business teacher and she told me she'd had her most embarrassing moment teaching on Friday. She was coming up with a way to remember to some business model or something, thinking of it on the spot. She'd written a big C on the board for 'Company', a big U on the board for 'Understanding' or whatever, and so on. The kids started giggling after the N and the T. She didn't know why until they pointed it out to her. She was marking last night and showing me where all the kids had written it in their books. Edited January 22, 2018 by Paddywhack 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 11 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: My wife's a business teacher and she told me she'd had her most embarrassing moment teaching on Friday. She was coming up with a way to remember to some business model or something, thinking of it on the spot. She'd written a big C on the board for 'Company', a big U on the board for 'Understanding' or whatever, and so on. The kids started giggling after the N and the T. She didn't know why until they pointed it out to her. She was marking last night and showing me where all the kids had written it in their books. Come on man, don't keep us guessing.. What did she put? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 1 hour ago, Paddywhack said: My wife's a business teacher and she told me she'd had her most embarrassing moment teaching on Friday. She was coming up with a way to remember to some business model or something, thinking of it on the spot. She'd written a big C on the board for 'Company', a big U on the board for 'Understanding' or whatever, and so on. The kids started giggling after the N and the T. She didn't know why until they pointed it out to her. She was marking last night and showing me where all the kids had written it in their books. sorta reminds me of this 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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