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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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You should try being in Minsk when the sun is out and you’re on a trip with your 13 year old son so you can’t have a proper perv up in case he tells his mum when you get home 

 not in the same league as Kiev girls but to quote C-3PO .... oh my  

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Two snippets of conversation overheard as I walked through the park.
First one was a whole group of men in suits with i-pads being addressed by another suited i-pad carrier.
First man: ‘so we will have a manager for this area just like Cwmbran’
Man in the group: ‘what’s a Cwmbran?’
First man: ‘Cwmbran, the town’
Man in the group: ‘in what way a town?’
First man: ‘wut?’

I’d moved out of earshot for the rest of that riveting conversation. But then passed a group of middle aged women looking at some flowers in a flower bed.
First woman: ‘ooh, yes, I do like him he was on the other night’
Second woman: ‘yeah, he can sort out my lady garden anytime’
 

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1 hour ago, chrisp65 said:

But then passed a group of middle aged women looking at some flowers in a flower bed.
First woman: ‘ooh, yes, I do like him he was on the other night’
Second woman: ‘yeah, he can sort out my lady garden anytime’

Going by my wife's tastes, that'll be Monty Don. 

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On 31/05/2018 at 16:05, AVFC_Hitz said:

 

I sat outside a cafe on the main boulevard in Sofia. There were times I wanted to cry.

Jesus wept.

There were times I wanted to cry today. 

At the state of some of the fat women in our office in their vest tops and flip flops

?

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15 hours ago, Xela said:

There were times I wanted to cry today. 

At the state of some of the fat women in our office in their vest tops and flip flops

?

You still "would" ?

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Put in a couple of good hours up the allotment yesterday. Worked on the garden too.

Stayed up until about 3:30 this morning talking shite and sipping rum until we ran out and switched to whisky.

Been over the beach already this morning for a little walk (and watching the beach fun run event thing!) and now home, loading up on strong coffee and I'm starting to prep for a mighty big roast lunch.

Another allotment session planned for later when its cooler.

If all goes to plan, I should be absolutely knackered for work Monday morning and good for nothing until Tuesday at the earliest.

DewQCJ2W0AAg8yK.jpg

(actually, a quick look on the twitter suggests it was a triathlon....not a fun run! )

 

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Just got out of a Doug Stanhope gig. That was the most offensive 90 minutes of comedy I've ever seen. Constantly torn between laughter and 'I really shouldn't laugh at this'. Brilliant. 

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On 31/05/2018 at 15:31, Paddywhack said:

I've worked out how to get free stuff from the vending machine at work. :hooray:

I'm keeping it quiet, I don't want loads of people knowing, it's my little secret.

I don't consider it stealing, I think it's fair game with a vending machine. You win some, you lose some and if I've found an error with the mechanics then I'll just happen to win a lot more from now.

On the downside I'm going to get fatter.

Well that was short lived. Some nob has reported that the vending machine isn't working properly and someone's coming out to fix it. :rant:

 

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3 minutes ago, Paddywhack said:

Well that was short lived. Some nob has reported that the vending machine isn't working properly and someone's coming out to fix it. :rant:

 

Attack him with free chocolate bars. 

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3 hours ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said:

Just watched the outtakes from "Derek",  some of the best outtakes outthere. :D

The Extras ones are also brilliant. Ricky and Patrick Stewart trying to get through that scene of the peoples clothes rotting off is classic.

ITs always Sunny ones are great as well.

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1 hour ago, Paddywhack said:

Well that was short lived. Some nob has reported that the vending machine isn't working properly and someone's coming out to fix it. :rant:

 

Hang around by the machine and when person arrives tell them it's all ok, false alarm and it's working fine.

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24 minutes ago, Rodders said:

Hang around by the machine and when person arrives tell them it's all ok, false alarm and it's working fine.

Or slip them a crisp 20 to unlock even more secrets to the machine, be careful though its a slippery slope from there as you fall deeper into the rabbit hole.

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https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2018/jun/04/neville-southall-flak-sex-workers-lgbt-issues


 

Quote

 

The former Wales and Everton goalkeeper discusses LGBT issues, Theresa May, skeletons, the agony of Loris Karius and why he really dislikes Piers Morgan

Doubt settles over Neville Southall like a brooding cloud on an otherwise sunny afternoon in Liverpool. Before he begins talking animatedly for two hours about sex workers, mental health, skeletons, transgender issues, Theresa May, the agony of Loris Karius, the hounding of Raheem Sterling, why Piers Morgan is “a massive cock”, how to annoy Vladimir Putin, the World Cup and his dream of uniting disenfranchised people, Southall is on the brink of cancelling this interview....

...What did Southall make of last week’s furore over Raheem Sterling and calls for England to drop him because of a still-incomplete tattoo of a gun on his leg – which the Manchester City forward chose to have done in memory of his father who was shot dead when he was two years old? “That was brought up by some prick,” Southall snorts. “Piers Morgan is a prick. What gives him the right to say what can be on your body? If Sterling had tattooed a massive cock on his leg I would say: ‘It reminds me of Piers Morgan.’”...

 

This whole interview is really engaging, but I did chuckle re above...

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3 hours ago, Rodders said:

If Sterling had tattooed a massive cock on his leg I would say: ‘It reminds me of Piers Morgan.’”...

:crylaugh:

You can tell, Neville is well scared of Piers.

Edited by Amsterdam_Neil_D
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