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28 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

What made it worse for me was that for a few days we were keeping it, and now  we ain't again. Feels like we are playing about with a life. It is for best though I know that. 

Try not to feel that way, easier said than done I know. I don't think there is a right or wrong thing to do in this situation. I think if it was me, whatever the decision was, I would always be left thinking "what if we had chosen differently".

I suppose you have to consider your lives and the lives of your kids and the impact having the baby will have. Thinking about the practicalities over such an emotive decision seems cold but it's a massive part of it.

Best of luck mate.

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11 hours ago, jonno_2004 said:

Haven't posted on VT in a while but our first born arrived early on Saturday morning, the missus nearly gave birth in the bleedin' Uber on the way to the hospital, only had time to practically kick off her trainers and get on the bed before he made an appearance!

Have averaged around 2 hrs sleep per day sense, am sick with worry and can't imagine the day where we could put him down to sleep on his own - BUT wouldn't take it back for a second, without doubt the happiest day of my life was seeing him arrive into the world. My old man is convinced he's some form of lucky omen given the two Villa results since... brainwashing is starting in earnest.

Don't worry that gets better. Have you got one of those next to me cribs? One of our best buys, didn't settle well in a Moses basket and didn't want to risk co-sleeping. They're not cheap but have a decent resale value.

If you're like me everything is new and a bit scary at this stage but give it a few weeks and it all fits into place. They are not as brittle and vulnerable as you think and they calm down (a bit) once they are used to the outside world. 

Enjoy it while you can, they get big quick!

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30 minutes ago, djdabush said:

Don't worry that gets better. Have you got one of those next to me cribs? One of our best buys, didn't settle well in a Moses basket and didn't want to risk co-sleeping. They're not cheap but have a decent resale value.

If you're like me everything is new and a bit scary at this stage but give it a few weeks and it all fits into place. They are not as brittle and vulnerable as you think and they calm down (a bit) once they are used to the outside world. 

Enjoy it while you can, they get big quick!

Thanks mate. Yeah just spending all day watching or with him on my chest so I can monitor. We have the standard crib (next to the bed), a baby nest and cacoonababy. He's done ok with the baby nest the past 24 hrs in the bed with his mum but won't settle for long before the next feed. I'm happy on the sofa provided we can get him to sleep independently for a little bit. As you say, 5 days in and hopefully will start to adjust soon, seeing improvements bit by bit each day. 

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19 minutes ago, jonno_2004 said:

Thanks mate. Yeah just spending all day watching or with him on my chest so I can monitor. We have the standard crib (next to the bed), a baby nest and cacoonababy. He's done ok with the baby nest the past 24 hrs in the bed with his mum but won't settle for long before the next feed. I'm happy on the sofa provided we can get him to sleep independently for a little bit. As you say, 5 days in and hopefully will start to adjust soon, seeing improvements bit by bit each day. 

Great news! Happy for you mate.

I think the best advice I can give (mines 3 in Jan! :o) is start as you mean to go on.  If you want him to sleep independently, make that little sucker sleep on his own.  I don't know if we got lucky, but after about 4 weeks, we had to wake our boy up to feed him!  But we've got several friends whose little ones cannot get to sleep on their on, and it's been like that for 2 years now.  It may seem a little 'cold and unloving', but you're at your parenting best when you've gotten the right amount of sleep. 

Also, encourage circadian rhythm, entertain him in day time, open the curtains, do your hovering, then settle down on the nights, listen to nice calming music etc etc.

I really can't stress enough that whatever you're doing now - will become routine later, which for babies is VERY hard to break.  

Obviously there are times when you have break that, but honestly, get them used to YOUR world, as opposed to the other way round! :)

And as others have said, cherish these times - it really does go quickly.

This morning my boy had a standing up wee!! Don't think the Audi driver was too pleased though :lol: (I joke, it was in our loo). 

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1 hour ago, lapal_fan said:

Great news! Happy for you mate.

I think the best advice I can give (mines 3 in Jan! :o) is start as you mean to go on.  If you want him to sleep independently, make that little sucker sleep on his own.  I don't know if we got lucky, but after about 4 weeks, we had to wake our boy up to feed him!  But we've got several friends whose little ones cannot get to sleep on their on, and it's been like that for 2 years now.  It may seem a little 'cold and unloving', but you're at your parenting best when you've gotten the right amount of sleep. 

Also, encourage circadian rhythm, entertain him in day time, open the curtains, do your hovering, then settle down on the nights, listen to nice calming music etc etc.

I really can't stress enough that whatever you're doing now - will become routine later, which for babies is VERY hard to break.  

100% this. My daughter and her partner have done this close parenting/co-sleeping thing with our granddaughter, and evenings are a nightmare, she won't sleep on her own. Big mistake, imo.

Ours just went to bed in their own room at 7.00 pm, bedtime story and off to sleep, leaving us to our evening. 

But they won't be told. Tsk. 

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5 hours ago, mjmooney said:

100% this. My daughter and her partner have done this close parenting/co-sleeping thing with our granddaughter, and evenings are a nightmare, she won't sleep on her own. Big mistake, imo.

Ours just went to bed in their own room at 7.00 pm, bedtime story and off to sleep, leaving us to our evening. 

But they won't be told. Tsk. 

I can vouch for this. We done this with our first and he was a bloody nightmare. We definitely made a rod for our own back, but never repeated it again with our second and third and they were and are fine. 

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19 hours ago, jonno_2004 said:

Haven't posted on VT in a while but our first born arrived early on Saturday morning, the missus nearly gave birth in the bleedin' Uber on the way to the hospital, only had time to practically kick off her trainers and get on the bed before he made an appearance!

Have averaged around 2 hrs sleep per day sense, am sick with worry and can't imagine the day where we could put him down to sleep on his own - BUT wouldn't take it back for a second, without doubt the happiest day of my life was seeing him arrive into the world. My old man is convinced he's some form of lucky omen given the two Villa results since... brainwashing is starting in earnest.

Yep, I remember constantly checking our first born every 5 minutes to make sure he was breathing. The first kid is a massive shock to the system, but the more you have the more calm you are regarding things like that. Within a few months it will be like you've never been without him. 

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Thanks for the advice guys. Will definitely take heed of this, will be all the more important once I'm back in work and routine is priority. 

Have also really enjoyed reading the parenting book by the ex-commando chap "Commando Dad" - will be thumbing through that again in the months to come I think!

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14 hours ago, jonno_2004 said:

Thanks for the advice guys. Will definitely take heed of this, will be all the more important once I'm back in work and routine is priority. 

Have also really enjoyed reading the parenting book by the ex-commando chap "Commando Dad" - will be thumbing through that again in the months to come I think!

haha! I read that! I got about 2/3 of the way through before I decided I didn't need it anymore. :) 

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On 27/09/2017 at 21:13, jonno_2004 said:

Haven't posted on VT in a while but our first born arrived early on Saturday morning, the missus nearly gave birth in the bleedin' Uber on the way to the hospital, only had time to practically kick off her trainers and get on the bed before he made an appearance!

Have averaged around 2 hrs sleep per day sense, am sick with worry and can't imagine the day where we could put him down to sleep on his own - BUT wouldn't take it back for a second, without doubt the happiest day of my life was seeing him arrive into the world. My old man is convinced he's some form of lucky omen given the two Villa results since... brainwashing is starting in earnest.

Congratulations mate! Our little girl arrived at 11.27 wednesday morning, so I was pretty close with my post above!! :)

My mrs has 2 lads who live with us but this is my first. Feeling a bit awkward at the mo but, as others have said, hopefully should be in the swing of it pretty soon!

She slept all day yesterday and pretty much all night last night, bar a couple of feeds...got away light me thinks :)

Can't stop staring at her and like you said, it was the greatest feeling in the world seeing her arrive. I was totally overwhelmed, and so so proud.

 

 

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20 hours ago, RimmyJimmer said:

Congratulations mate! Our little girl arrived at 11.27 wednesday morning, so I was pretty close with my post above!! :)

My mrs has 2 lads who live with us but this is my first. Feeling a bit awkward at the mo but, as others have said, hopefully should be in the swing of it pretty soon!

She slept all day yesterday and pretty much all night last night, bar a couple of feeds...got away light me thinks :)

Can't stop staring at her and like you said, it was the greatest feeling in the world seeing her arrive. I was totally overwhelmed, and so so proud.

 

 

Great news mate! Can't believe a week has passed already. Enjoying every moment. Hoping the weather will be nice enough for a walk along the river today and perhaps a small beer for Dad!

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Well, it's been 14.5 years since the last one, and lets say the little she-devil is growing up. Today she waltzed into my home-office wearing one of the missus low cut cocktail dresses, and it fits like a glove. Daddy is about to have issues <_<

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