News story of the day

[mjmooney]

Bring back good old "fat", then.

[Stevo985]

Obesity offensive? That's like saying "muscular" is an offensive word! it's just the correct term for it.

What do they want to be called? "Horizontally tall", "Oxygen Thieves"?

[Anthony]

'Obesity' is offensive? Yeah, and? What's your point?

[BOF]

The in-vogue term is cyclical though. My missus used to work for a medical company who had to change the name for their 'elephant' range of beds and hoists regularly. Just as old Nelly learned the new word, they'd have to change it again to stop people being offended. Bariatric was the word they were using last I heard.

[AVFC-Prideofbrum]

I've heard this story before.

[Anthony]

Family accidentally discover church under home

An inquisitive family have uncovered a bizarre church which has been hidden under their Victorian home in Shropshire for 100 years.

The Farla family made the discovery while investigating what was under a metre-long rectangle metal grid in their hallway.

The hole under the grid was just big enough for son Gareth, 20, to squeeze down and see what was under their living room.

And he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the dark chapel complete with a large wooden cross on the floor.

But that was nothing compared the the shock the rest of the family got when he followed a staircase in the chapel and came out of a cupboard in the dining room. There was also large chest which was filled with old newspapers dating back to the early 1900's and old wine and sherry bottles.

Speaking of the find Matthew Lathan, who also managed to squeeze down, said: "We only discovered it because we were drunkenly fooling around and decided to have a look at what was beneath the grid - It was amazing.

"The first thing we came across in the middle of the basement was an old, open chest and in it were old newspapers and bottles dating back to the 1930s.

"There were also some sort of brick seats around the walls which looked like something you might find in a church."

It's thought the room dates back to the 1700s and could have been used as a clandestine Catholic church.

[BOF]

'Phallic' art sparks row ahead of Pope's Malta visit

'Phallic' art sparks row ahead of Pope's Malta visit

The mayor of a town in Malta has called for a "phallic" sculpture displayed close to the main airport to be removed ahead of the Pope's visit this weekend.

Mayor John Schembri described the art work as "vulgar" and "embarrassing", saying it should go "as a sign of respect" for Pope Benedict XVI.

Colonna Mediterranea was created by artist Paul Vella Critien and has been on show in the town of Luqa since 2006.

Mr Critien responded by calling his critics "ignorant" and "uneducated".

Pope Benedict's route through Malta will involve passing by the roundabout at the entrance to Luqa, where the monument stands.

"The object... is not the most fitting way in which to greet the Pope, especially by what is considered to be the most Catholic country in the world," Mr Schembri was quoted by the Times of Malta as saying.

He told the newspaper that the council would again appeal to the government to order the removal of the column.

Mr Critien said his creation was not a phallic symbol but a modern representation of a symbol dating back to ancient Egypt.

He said the Pope "would look at it as a work of art. [He] is not the man in the street".

The government has said it has no plans to remove the sculpture.

I don't think they should remove it. I think they should put an altar boy straddling the top of it. Y'know, make it more 'catholic priesty'

[choffer]

A woman in the United Kingdom says she has the urge to have sex up to 10 times a day after she fell off her Wii Fit board.

“It began as a twinge down below before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm," Amanda Flowers of Manchester told the U.K.'s Daily Star. “With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply."

A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal syndrome, saying she likely damaged a nerve in the fall.

She told the Daily Star that small vibrations, like the one from her cellphone or a food processor, turns her on.

Flowers is single, but hopes to find a boyfriend.

Originally in the star so it must be true!

[BOF]

No picture :?

[leviramsey]

Not a news story, but...

You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you.

We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…

We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.

You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:

You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.

The flash drive pops out.

You look at it.

You squat a little bit.

You insert it into your vagina, like a tampon.

I am speechless.

You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn’t work.

I am confused. I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see my flash drive again.

Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.

Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.

[rjw63]

Not a news story, but...

You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you.

We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…

We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.

You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:

You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.

The flash drive pops out.

You look at it.

You squat a little bit.

You insert it into your vagina, like a tampon.

I am speechless.

You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn’t work.

I am confused. I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see my flash drive again.

Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.

Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.

Seen that already but no "binnedunne" as I dontvremember where...........

[leviramsey]

It's probably been doing the rounds all over the intarwebs

[Ponky]

Sounds like espionage - the next generation of Bond girls...

[choffer]

One of the best/worst news stories I've read in a while (couldn't see a date on the story so there's a chance it was an April fool I guess):

'I'm in love with my grandson and we're having a baby'

When 72-year-old Pearl met her grandson, little did she realise she'd soon be 'pregnant' with his child

Pearl Carter is positively glowing with joy. She has a handsome new boyfriend, is enjoying an active sex life after many years of celibacy and, amazingly, is preparing to become a mother again.

But the retired grandmother isn't carrying the baby herself. She and her young lover have spent a staggering $54,000 hiring a surrogate to help them with their dreams of having a child.

What makes Pearl's decision to become a mum again even more shocking is that her new boyfriend is her biological grandson, 26-year-old Phil Bailey.

Phil is the son of Pearl's daughter Lynette Bailey, and the pair is braving public horror and even prison by breaking one of the last taboos – incest.

However, the pair makes no apologies for their controversial plan to start their own family.

'I'm not interested in anyone else's opinion,' Pearl says. 'I am in love with Phil and he's in love with me. Soon I'll be holding my son or daughter in my arms and Phil will be the proud dad'.

Phil adds, 'I love Pearl with all my heart. I've always been attracted to older women and I think Pearl is gorgeous. Now I'm going to be a dad and I can't wait.

'Yes, we get laughed at and bullied when we go out and kiss in public but we don't care. You can't help who you fall for.'

Pearl was 18 when she fell pregnant with daughter Lynette. She was living with her Catholic parents in Indiana and they insisted she give the baby away, so as not to bring the family into disrepute.

They organised a private adoption and Pearl never again saw her baby girl.

Pearl went on to marry, but she never had any more children. Instead she searched for her lost daughter until finally giving up hope 15 years ago.

Finding each other

In 1983, Pearl's daughter Lynette had a baby of her own, who she named Phil. She raised him as a single mother.

'My mother told me she was adopted when I was 18, and at the same time she told me she'd been diagnosed with brain cancer,' Phil says. 'I was devastated.'

Phil nursed his mum for six months before she died. It was then he decided to track down his grandmother. It took three years before he found an address for Pearl and wrote to her.

'I was stunned to get his letter,' says Pearl, who was now single. 'My heart jumped that I'd be re-united with a grandson. I wrote back immediately and included my phone number.'

When Phil phoned Pearl, the pair admits they were both rather nervous. Pearl told Phil about being forced to give up Lynette for adoption, and Phil told Pearl about his mum dying of cancer.

'We both cried but kept talking for three hours,' she says. 'When he emailed me a photo, I thought what a handsome and sexy man he was before pinching myself – he was my grandson!'

Confused, Pearl talked to a friend, who told her about an article she'd read on Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA), which occurs when close relatives meet as adults and are attracted to each other.

'I could now understand my feelings and realise they weren't wrong,' Pearl says.

In 2006, Phil met his grandmother for the first time.

'From the first moment that I saw him, I knew we would never have a grandmother-grandson relationship,' Pearl remembers happily. 'For the first time in years I felt sexually alive.'

Phil admits that he had the same feelings towards Pearl.

'I wanted to kiss her there and then,' he says. 'My feelings were overwhelming.'

The pair spent the first week shopping, bowling and eating out. During the second week, giggly on wine after a night out, Pearl decided she wasn't going to deny her feelings anymore.

Unexpected feelings

'I called Phil into my bedroom, sat him on the bed, and then I leant over and kissed him,' Pearl says.

'I expected rejection but instead he kissed me back.'

Pearl then explained to Phil what she'd discovered about GSA.

'I was thrilled and excited,' Phil says. 'I could be with Pearl and it was OK because she'd never raised me or been in my life.'

That night, grandmother and grandson became lovers.

'Making love to Pearl was a real eye-opener. It was love combined with all this sexual tension that had been building up,' Phil openly explains.

Phil, a carpenter, agreed to live with Pearl and get a job with a local building firm.

'Living with Phil as my life partner has been amazing. He cooks and cleans and we make love three times a week. We can't keep our hands off each other.'

Twelve months ago, Phil made the shocking admission that he wanted a child. Pearl told him she was desperate for a baby as well, but it was one wish that she couldn't fulfil as she'd already gone through menopause.

The determined pair then decided to use Pearl's retirement money to find a surrogate mother and buy a donor egg to inseminate with Phil's sperm. They placed an ad asking for an open-minded surrogate, and Roxanne Campbell applied. The three met up a few times and hit it off.

[

'Initially I was shocked,' says Roxanne on learning the couple were related. 'But they're a brilliant pair and I saw how much they loved each other. I know the baby will be loved too.'

The couple sees 30-year-old Roxanne once a month and accompany her for scans, with Pearl playing the part of a pal or the baby's grandmother.

'I am just so happy,' Pearl says.

'I am finally going to be a mum and not forced to give up my child. Phil's going to be a great dad. I never in a million years thought at 72 I'd be "pregnant" and in love with my grandson. I make no apologies and I believe God's given me a second chance.'

[jonno_2004]

Horrific.

[lapal_fan]

Horrific.

Yeah but i bet he can get her to do ANYTHING..

[Clarry]

New Zealand. What do you expect?

[LondonLax]

I have heard it happens more than you would think, when relatives are long seperated they fall in love with each other when they meet again for the first time.

Weird...

[choffer]

New Zealand. What do you expect?

NZ site with the story but indications are that the happy couple are actually from Indiana (insert rolly eyes, should have known, only in America gif).

[Clarry]

New Zealand. What do you expect?

NZ site with the story but indications are that the happy couple are actually from Indiana (insert rolly eyes, should have known, only in America gif).

I originally thought it was a "future" piece on Britian under the LibDems...or Corydon today.