mjmooney Posted September 2, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd happily be the first name on the atheist registry list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted September 3, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted September 3, 2011 A quick rundown of some Texan laws on sports A Texas law (PDF) that took effect yesterday makes it a Class A misdemeanor (punishable by up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine) to manufacture, sell, buy, or possess "a gaff, slasher, or other sharp implement designed for attachment to a cock." Although this provision brings to mind a scene from Seven, it is not aimed at kinky sex toys; it is part of a bill strengthening the state's ban on cockfighting, a sport that is now illegal in every state. (Louisiana, the last holdout, approved a ban in 2007.) Even watching a cockfight is now a crime in Texas (a Class C misdemeanor, punishable by a $500 fine). By contrast, another new Texas law legalizes noodling, a sport that involves catching a fish by ramming your arm down its throat. If you participate in a noodling tournament, however, you should know that contestants who misrepresent the weight of a fish (by slipping some buckshot into it, for example) are committing a third-degree felony, which can get you two to 10 years in prison. For those who prefer shooting hogs from a helicopter, that also is newly legal in Texas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponky Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Pig Born With Human Head THIS little piglet was born with a a human-shaped head. The little fella was born in Santa Cruz El Chol, Guatemala - and the locals have blamed a visit from an alien his freakish face. The bizarre creature was one of a litter of 11 born after locals reported seeing strange bright lights hovering in the sky. Farmer Laureano Escobar Arias said: "I was shocked. It was a really terrifying experience. It looked like some kind of alien creature." Observers told the Austrian Times the piglet looked like a cross between a human and one of the deadly creatures from the "Alien" movies. Regional health officials - who are feeding the piglet by hand - said the reasons for the mutation were almost certainly more down to earth. One expert explained: "We don't know for certain but it could have been caused by a genetic problem or by environmental pollution." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted September 18, 2011 Share Posted September 18, 2011 Sperm bank turns down redheads The world's largest sperm bank has started turning down redheaded donors because there is too little demand for their sperm. Ole Schou, Cryos's director, said that there had been a surge in donations in recent years, allowing the facility to become much more picky about its donors. "There are too many redheads in relation to demand," he told told Danish newspaper Ekstrabladet. "I do not think you chose a redhead, unless the partner - for example, the sterile male - has red hair, or because the lone woman has a preference for redheads. And that's perhaps not so many, especially in the latter case." Mr Schou said the only reliable demand for sperm from redheaded donors from Ireland, where he said it sold “like hot cakes”. Cryos’s stores have now reached their peak capacity of 70 litres of semen, and Mr Schou has a waiting list of 600 donors. He said sperm from donors with brown hair and brown eyes was particularly in demand, because of the bank’s large customer base in Spain, Italy and Greece. Indian sperm was also hard to find, he said, because India does not allow sperm or eggs to be exported, causing a problem for childless international Indians. Cryos pays donors up to $500 (£316), and sends its semen to over 65 countries worldwide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted September 18, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted September 18, 2011 Real-life Weekend at Bernie's Two men are accused of driving around Denver with a dead friend, running up a bar tab on his account and using his ATM card at a strip club in what appeared to be a disturbing reflection of the movie "Weekend at Bernie's." Robert Young, 43, and Mark Rubinson, 25, have been charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft and criminal impersonation. It's unclear how Jeffrey Jarrett, 43, died, but the men are not charged in his death. The coroner said toxicology tests were pending. Young and Rubinson are free on bond but couldn't be reached for comment Friday. In the 1989 Hollywood comedy, two ne'er-do-wells find their boss dead at his ritzy beachfront home and escort his body around town, attempting to save the weekend of luxury they had planned. In Denver last month, according to a police affidavit that gives an account of a story first reported by the Denver Post (http://bit.ly/nEgeF4), Young arrived at Jarrett's home and found him unresponsive. But rather than call the authorities, police say, Young went to find Rubinson. The duo returned to Jarrett's home and put his lifeless body into Rubinson's SUV and headed to a nightspot where they spent more than an hour drinking — leaving Jarrett's body in the vehicle, according to police documents. Police say the two men used Jarrett's card to pay for the drinks on Aug. 27, noting "they did not have Jarrett's consent." Rubinson and Young then drove to another restaurant to hang out, Jarrett's body slumped in the back along for the ride, police say. They then returned to Jarrett's home, carried him in and put him in bed, according to court papers. From there, police say, Rubinson and Young went to get gas and made a stop at a burrito joint, again using Jarrett's card. The two men then went to a strip club, where authorities say they used Jarrett's card to take out $400 from an ATM. As the men left the Shotgun Willie's strip club parking lot, one told the valet and a police officer standing nearby that "they were driving around with a dead guy and they didn't know what to do with it and they were just going to go home really fast," general manager Matthew Dunafon said. Police went to Jarrett's home and found the body. Police say Young told them Jarrett was obviously dead while they were at the first stop of the night. The Denver District Attorney's Office said Young posted a $2,500 bond and is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court for a preliminary hearing on Sept. 27. Rubinson posted a $3,500 bond and is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court on Oct. 4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerlad Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Gingerist bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted December 21, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted December 21, 2011 BOLIVIAN drug-smugglers seem to be running low on ingenious ways to hide their masses of cocaine. Disguising the stash as flour or washing-up powder appears to be a little too old school for South American drug-runners – with the new method of choice being to wrap their blocks in Swastikas. A van carrying 204kg of cocaine in brick-type moulds plastered with the Nazi stamp is the latest bust, as authorities attempt to stamp down on the raging drug trade. The branding destroyed all chances of the smugglers making it safely to a farm to have the drugs cut, with Special Counter-Narcotics Police Force (Fuerza Especial de Lucha Contra el Narcotrafico – FELCN) intercepting the van in the town of Warnes. The driver was arrested by authorities at the scene. The anti-narcotics chief confirmed it was the first time a shipment had been discovered with this symbol. If the mules plan on having future success with such deliveries, perhaps it should be the last. Source Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted December 28, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted December 28, 2011 Sinead O'Connor ends marriage to husband number four Sinead O’Connor’s fourth marriage has ended after just 16 days. By Anita Singh, Showbusiness Editor 4:20PM GMT 27 Dec 2011 The singer married Barry Herridge, a 38-year-old therapist, in a Las Vegas “drive-thru” wedding on December 8. But they managed to live together for just seven days and split for good on Christmas Eve. She blamed people close to Herridge for conspiring to ruin the marriage and said she ended the relationship because her husband was “too nice to trap”. Things were not helped by O’Connor, 45, spending her wedding night on the hunt for drugs. “From the moment myself and my husband got together not long ago, there was intense pressure placed upon him by certain people in his life, not to be involved with me,” O’Connor wrote on her blog. “Within 3 hours of the ceremony being over the marriage was kyboshed by the behaviour of certain people in my husband's life. And also by a bit of a wild ride I took us on looking for a bit of a smoke of weed for me [sic] wedding night as I don't drink,” she wrote on her blog. “My husband was enormously wounded and very badly effected [sic] by that experience and also by the attitude of those close to him toward our marriage.” O’Connor said she swiftly realised that the marriage “was not going to serve him positively, career wise or any other wise”. She explained: “I saw his life leave him because of how people close to him reacted. And I can't take anyone's life. And a woman wants to be a joy to her husband. So... U love someone? Set them free. “He is a wonderful man. I love him very much. I'm sorry I'm not a more regular woman. The couple met after O’Connor advertised on Twitter in August for a “very sweet sex-starved man”. Herridge contacted her via email. The Irish singer, best known for topping the chart in 1990 with Nothing Compares 2 U, said her husband was a “wonderful man” but conceded that they married too soon. "The marriage was 16 days. We lived together for 7 days only. Until Xmas Eve," she said. “I truly believe, though it is painful to admit, we made a mistake rushing into getting married, for altruistic reasons, and weren't aware or prepared for the consequences on my husband's life and the lives of those close to him. “He has been terribly unhappy and I have therefore ended the marriage. I think he is too nice to do so. And too nice to trap.” O’Connor ended by saying: “I feel sad for my husband, and sad to be the cause of sorrow to yet another poor man... Please pray for my lovely husband to be ok and do not worry about me as I have had plenty of practice in these matters.” She married her first husband, music producer John Reynolds, in 1989. Her second wedding, in 2002, was to music journalist Nick Sommerlad. She wed husband number three, musician Steve Cooney, in 2010 but the union lasted less than a year. The mother-of-four has spoken candidly in the past about her mental health issues. She suffers from bipolar disorder, or manic depression, and has been hospitalised on several occasions. Telegraph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Sadly the news item I'd like to draw attention to contains no penises, no domestic pets used as sex toys, no bizarre traffic accidents and no ,um, minge. Was looking at the 100 year old colour photographs of Russia on the BBC news website. I recommend it if you think perhaps you might possibly find that sort of thing interesting. (A link shouldn't be required since if you can't find the BBC news website you are not qualified to drive the internet.) If not, why not provide us all with a ripping up-to-the-minute story about penises, domestic pets used as sex toys, bizarre traffic accidents or ,um, minge? Coz those are ace as well, ha haa. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 That gunman in France is dead. He jumped out the window apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted March 22, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted March 22, 2012 Allah Akhbar and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Real-life Weekend at Bernie's Two men are accused of driving around Denver with a dead friend, running up a bar tab on his account and using his ATM card at a strip club in what appeared to be a disturbing reflection of the movie "Weekend at Bernie's." Robert Young, 43, and Mark Rubinson, 25, have been charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft and criminal impersonation. It's unclear how Jeffrey Jarrett, 43, died, but the men are not charged in his death. The coroner said toxicology tests were pending. Young and Rubinson are free on bond but couldn't be reached for comment Friday. In the 1989 Hollywood comedy, two ne'er-do-wells find their boss dead at his ritzy beachfront home and escort his body around town, attempting to save the weekend of luxury they had planned. In Denver last month, according to a police affidavit that gives an account of a story first reported by the Denver Post (http://bit.ly/nEgeF4), Young arrived at Jarrett's home and found him unresponsive. But rather than call the authorities, police say, Young went to find Rubinson. The duo returned to Jarrett's home and put his lifeless body into Rubinson's SUV and headed to a nightspot where they spent more than an hour drinking — leaving Jarrett's body in the vehicle, according to police documents. Police say the two men used Jarrett's card to pay for the drinks on Aug. 27, noting "they did not have Jarrett's consent." Rubinson and Young then drove to another restaurant to hang out, Jarrett's body slumped in the back along for the ride, police say. They then returned to Jarrett's home, carried him in and put him in bed, according to court papers. From there, police say, Rubinson and Young went to get gas and made a stop at a burrito joint, again using Jarrett's card. The two men then went to a strip club, where authorities say they used Jarrett's card to take out $400 from an ATM. As the men left the Shotgun Willie's strip club parking lot, one told the valet and a police officer standing nearby that "they were driving around with a dead guy and they didn't know what to do with it and they were just going to go home really fast," general manager Matthew Dunafon said. Police went to Jarrett's home and found the body. Police say Young told them Jarrett was obviously dead while they were at the first stop of the night. The Denver District Attorney's Office said Young posted a $2,500 bond and is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court for a preliminary hearing on Sept. 27. Rubinson posted a $3,500 bond and is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court on Oct. 4. If he knew what his mates were doing i bet that would have 'pissed him off'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted March 22, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted March 22, 2012 One of those pics that could go in one of a few different threads (funny pics, jokes etc) but I think this one will do. Even accounting for Bicks-levels of scorn towards the Beatles I think even the above is a bit of a stretch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Thieves take £11,000 of sex toys in Stourport-on-Severn Sex toys worth more than £11,000 have been taken during a burglary at a Worcestershire flat. More than 400 items stored in four large suitcases were taken from the flat in the Gilgal, Stourport-on-Severn. The toys belonged to local online mail order company, Happy Bunny, police said. Police have contacted adult shops in the area to alert them in case they are offered any of the stolen goods. West Mercia Police said the suitcases were stolen when the flat was broken into at some point between 23:30 BST on 9 May and 09:00 BST the following day. It is believed the thieves entered and left the property via Baldwin Road. PC Emma Gunnell appealed for anyone who saw any suspicious activity in the area to contact them. "It would be quite difficult for the thieves to sell on these items in any great quantity and so we would ask people to be on the lookout for these suitcases should the thieves have dumped them," she said. "Two of the cases were black but the other two were very distinctive, one having pink and black stripes and the other a multi-coloured flower pattern all over it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Hey, if you scroll down at the right speed it's like the opening credits of Star Wars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 22, 2012 Moderator Share Posted August 22, 2012 :crylaugh: How not to restore a classic painting Pic of the Day: How not to restore a classic painting Seeing that a classic nineteenth century Spanish fresco was ageing badly, an elderly woman did her best to restore it to its former glory. She shouldn’t have bothered. Now we’re no experts in how to restore classic works of art and would struggle to complete a stickman if it was presented in front of us, but we reckon we could do at least as good as a job as the well-intentioned but hopelessly misguided woman who attempted a restoration of the fresco known as ‘Ecce Homo’, which was first painted by Elias Garcia Martinez in the nineteenth century. According to a report in the Independent, the elderly woman in question spotted the gradual decline in quality of the painting, which is housed in the Santuario de Misericodia church in Borja, near Zaragoza in north eastern Spain, and endeavoured to do her best to get it looking back to normal. Needless to say, she failed The painting’s new look was revealed when Martinez’s granddaughter went to check on the painting recently and was no doubt horrified to find that it resembled the work of a child working with watercolours for the first time. The picture above shows what the painting looked like in 2010 (far left), last month (centre) and finally, after the amateur artist in question was finished with it (right), although in fairness she did admit to having caused the damage after her restoration attempt “got out of hand”. The painting isn’t terribly important and everyone accepts that there were no ill-intentions on the elderly woman’s part, but we don’t think they’ll be calling on her to restore the Sistine Chapel anytime soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 7, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted November 7, 2012 Meanwhile in Alum Rock Road, Birmingham U.K. Video: Pedestrian has miracle escape after very scary car crash At first watch, you assume the worst from this clip but thankfully the woman involved is okay, though we have no idea how. This clip comes to us from the UK and shows a fairly normal scene at a busy urban junction. The streets are clogged in this suburb of Birmingham but one idiot flies down the street, colliding at top speed into a parked car. One female pedestrian (look at the top right) is horribly crushed between two parked cars but somehow she escaped without a serious injury, suffering only ‘non-life threatening head injuries’. Police are investigating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 and she didn't have a crash helmet on either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 7, 2012 Author Moderator Share Posted November 7, 2012 True dat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 19, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted November 19, 2012 A drunk man who climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5m (16ft) long crocodile has survived his encounter. The crocodile, called Fatso, bit the 36-year-old man's leg, tearing chunks of flesh from him as he straddled the reptile. He received surgery to serious wounds to his leg and is recovering in hospital, police say. He had been chucked out of a pub in the town of Broome for being too drunk. The man, Michael Newman, climbed over a fence and tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lb) salclearing in the woodser crocodile. "Fatso has taken offence to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg," Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists. "The crocodile has let him go and he's been able to scale the fence again and leave the wildlife park." Malcolm Douglas, the park's owner, said that the crocodile was capable of crushing a man to death with a single bite. "The man who climbed the fence was fortunate because Fatso was a bit more sluggish than normal, due to the cooler nights we have been experiencing in Broome," said Mr Douglas. "No person in their right mind would try to sit on a 5m crocodile, Salclearing in the woodser crocodiles, once they get hold of you, are not renowned for letting you go." The man staggered back to the pub bleeding heavily. Pub manager Mark Phillips said staff told him that the man reappeared at about 11pm with bits of bark hanging off him and flesh gouged out of his limbs. "They said he had chunks out of his legs and things like that," Mr Phillips told The West Australian news website. An average of two people are killed each year in Australia by aggressive salclearing in the woodser crocodiles, which can grow up to 7m (23 ft) long and weigh more than a tonne. I love the fact that he went back to the pub... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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