Xela Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 Random musings... - Just found out that Stephen Graham, the fantastic actor and Scorsese favourite, lives in a small ex coal mining village in Leicestershire! I'm not sure why but I find that fascinating. I always assumed someone like that would live in London, or perhaps nearer to Merseyside, perhaps Cheshire way. - I'm finding myself becoming obsessed with narrowboats! I looked into having one to live on about 10 yeas back, before I got on the property ladder, but decided against it. Now i'm looking at them again as a weekend getaway option. Been to Fazeley Mill and Fradley marinas recently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 Guy at my old work has one, lived in digs all week then the boat all weekend, made it sound like the maintenance costs mean it's a proper labour of love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 41 minutes ago, villa4europe said: Guy at my old work has one, lived in digs all week then the boat all weekend, made it sound like the maintenance costs mean it's a proper labour of love Its not a cheap way of living. If you're moored up at a marina, than can be £250-350pm, plus you pay council tax (lowest band) and will pay electric if you are hooked into the marinas mains. Add diesel to power the boat, coal to warm it via the stove and your various licences to allow the use of the boat on the waterways plus insurance then you are probably talking £5k per annum for starters. That's ahead of any major maintenance like taking the boat out the water to be blacked every 3 years or so. Slightly cheaper if you 'continuously cruise' as you don't pay moorings or council tax but you pretty much have to keep moving and can't stay anywhere for more than 14 nights (2 nights in some city centres). The towpath moorings are owned by the CRT and they are free as long as you follow the rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mark Albrighton Posted April 29, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted April 29, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, Xela said: I'm finding myself becoming obsessed with narrowboats! I looked into having one to live on about 10 yeas back, before I got on the property ladder, but decided against it. Now i'm looking at them again as a weekend getaway option. Been to Fazeley Mill and Fradley marinas recently. Edited April 29, 2019 by Shropshire Lad Edit - technically not a narrow boat in that scene, but shalln’t split hairs 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted May 3, 2019 Moderator Share Posted May 3, 2019 Best storm name ever! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 3, 2019 Author VT Supporter Share Posted May 3, 2019 Strange thing happened at the weekend. I met up with an ex-girlfriend on Saturday. Nothing weird, we used to be good friends even after we broke up and hadn't spoken in ages. She's since got married (to a much older man) and had two kids. It was a totally platonic meeting. Anyway, she basically totally spilled her guts to me about her relationship and her mental health. She's only with her husband because of the kids, and she hates being a mother. She literally told me that she hates her daughter. And she's only 4. Basically said that she feels absolutely zero bond with her and if her mom (the girl's grandmother) would have her she'd let her raise her with no second thought. She sounds like she's at absolutely rock bottom. It was really weird. And now she's texting me constantly. (note: she's been diagnosed for her mental health issues. She has post natal depression and anxiety. So she's getting the right kind of help for it, fingers crossed) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 When my daughter was pregnant, this was our worry, she never demonstrated anything maternal, never really liked kids and by her own admission didnt really feel anything towards the the baby growing inside her. Thankfully when the grandson and heir was born she changed completely. Feel for your friend, it must be hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 That's awful. I feel for her because I bet she feels incredibly guilty. There's no mistaking how hard it is to have a 4 year old (mine is) and if she's not getting any support from her fella, I'd say it's almost impossible for her. It's energy sapping to look after them a day, most bedtimes are a battle of wits and patience and if she sees her other half doing **** all I imagine her self esteem has plummeted. I hope she gets all the help she needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 1 hour ago, Stevo985 said: Strange thing happened at the weekend. I met up with an ex-girlfriend on Saturday. Nothing weird, we used to be good friends even after we broke up and hadn't spoken in ages. She's since got married (to a much older man) and had two kids. It was a totally platonic meeting. Anyway, she basically totally spilled her guts to me about her relationship and her mental health. She's only with her husband because of the kids, and she hates being a mother. She literally told me that she hates her daughter. And she's only 4. Basically said that she feels absolutely zero bond with her and if her mom (the girl's grandmother) would have her she'd let her raise her with no second thought. She sounds like she's at absolutely rock bottom. It was really weird. And now she's texting me constantly. (note: she's been diagnosed for her mental health issues. She has post natal depression and anxiety. So she's getting the right kind of help for it, fingers crossed) DHUTWU 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 4 minutes ago, rjw63 said: DHUTWU 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 3, 2019 Author VT Supporter Share Posted May 3, 2019 4 hours ago, lapal_fan said: That's awful. I feel for her because I bet she feels incredibly guilty. There's no mistaking how hard it is to have a 4 year old (mine is) and if she's not getting any support from her fella, I'd say it's almost impossible for her. It's energy sapping to look after them a day, most bedtimes are a battle of wits and patience and if she sees her other half doing **** all I imagine her self esteem has plummeted. I hope she gets all the help she needs. She gets support from the dad, they still live together and he looks after the kids as much as she does. He's not unsupportive, they're just not really a couple anymore. And she really din't make it sound like it was the stress of looking after her. She just said she has never liked her. Even when she was born she felt no bond. I guess that's post natal depression for you. She just basically says she hates her. Like as a person. Even though she's 4. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted May 3, 2019 Share Posted May 3, 2019 14 minutes ago, Stevo985 said: She just basically says she hates her. Like as a person. Even though she's 4. I get that she’s not well, but that there is just so hard for me to understand. Ok, it’s a struggle when my 4yo slaps me in the face and calls me a poopoo, but I have no idea how you can hate a child, on a personal level, let alone your own. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 3, 2019 Author VT Supporter Share Posted May 3, 2019 Yeah I found it really weird. I mean I hate kids. They're horrible little irritating brats. But I don't ACTUALLY hate them. And I'm sure when I finally have a little word removed of my own I'll love them. I've never heard anyone say that about their kid before. And be so completely open about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted May 4, 2019 Share Posted May 4, 2019 Kids are like farts. You only like your own. That said, as you say, no one really hates kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted May 10, 2019 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted May 10, 2019 It's always slightly surprising when you discover that two apparently unconnected friends know each other. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 30 minutes ago, mjmooney said: It's always slightly surprising when you discover that two apparently unconnected friends know each other. Similarly, I find it a bit unsettling when people, or groups of people, from completely different parts of my life meet. It was strange seeing my workmates talking to my grandparents at my wedding. I just tried to think of another example, but quickly realised there's not many different parts to my life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Paddywhack said: Similarly, I find it a bit unsettling when people, or groups of people, from completely different parts of my life meet. It was strange seeing my workmates talking to my grandparents at my wedding. I just tried to think of another example, but quickly realised there's not many different parts to my life. George Costanza likes this post. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted May 10, 2019 Share Posted May 10, 2019 9 minutes ago, Michelsen said: George Costanza likes this post. I had to google that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 10, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted May 10, 2019 1 hour ago, Paddywhack said: Similarly, I find it a bit unsettling when people, or groups of people, from completely different parts of my life meet. It was strange seeing my workmates talking to my grandparents at my wedding. I just tried to think of another example, but quickly realised there's not many different parts to my life. Yes, I know exactly what you mean - weddings are, of course, the classic scenario for that. My example cropped up via Facebook - although I know both people in 'real life', one through music, the other at my running club. Turns out they have known each other for years through working together (teachers at the same school). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post tonyh29 Posted May 10, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted May 10, 2019 (edited) On 03/05/2019 at 12:04, Stevo985 said: Strange thing happened at the weekend. I met up with an ex-girlfriend on Saturday. Nothing weird, we used to be good friends even after we broke up and hadn't spoken in ages. She's since got married (to a much older man) and had two kids. It was a totally platonic meeting. Anyway, she basically totally spilled her guts to me about her relationship and her mental health. She's only with her husband because of the kids, and she hates being a mother. She literally told me that she hates her daughter. And she's only 4. Basically said that she feels absolutely zero bond with her and if her mom (the girl's grandmother) would have her she'd let her raise her with no second thought. She sounds like she's at absolutely rock bottom. It was really weird. And now she's texting me constantly. (note: she's been diagnosed for her mental health issues. She has post natal depression and anxiety. So she's getting the right kind of help for it, fingers crossed) I had a friend in a similar predicament , all be it her boyfriend **** off before the baby was born ... though I've known her for donkeys years I was always a bit weary of her to an extent as she was one of those people who didn't suffer fools and well , that's essentially what I am ... but I could clearly sense from social media she was struggling so I rung her ( always better than "are you ok Hun posts on Facebook I think ) next thing she is unloading on me down the phone in tears , she hated her son , wanted to give him away for adoption , I don't think she would have harmed him but she was in a dark place ...this went on for a while , so spoke to my wife and we'd pop by with our the kids , so she could chat with Mrs H and also see how kids can (sometimes) be fun not just something constantly annoying you .. on Mothers day I'd buy some flowers and a card for her and sign it from her son and leave them on her doorstep ... I don't' know if it helped but I just thought the physical act of her getting something from the boy might help ... Its a few years on and I see posts on Facebook of her and her boy going out for the day , spending lots of time together and all looks happy in her life , visits we have to her now are more about my kids tormenting her cat It was anxiety driven in her case and it sounds like your Ex is on the right lines so hopefully she will be lucky enough to also find her way through it ..just hope your current GF is as understanding as my wife about some woman texting and ringing you at strange times Edited May 10, 2019 by tonyh29 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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