leemond2008 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 for my interests I take it that the safest thing to put is 'I enjoy socializing' I could always tell the truth and tell them that I'm a 'cat kicking, jaw volleying, banjo playing, foul mouthed ranting mother **** who is prone to internet based bursts of aggression' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Speaking of jobs, my new place have put me in a bit of a tricky position. I'm only a month into it and my probation lasts for three months but being the team player and nice guy that I am I made my self available to take part in some trade shows. I'm down to do Wednesday and Thursday down in London for this show the week after next and I was a reserve for the following Wednesday and Thursday too. I live an hour from my place of work and we're to meet there at 6am to drive down to London on the Wednesday morning. We won't be getting back until around midnight/the early hours of Friday morning which means I will get back to my place of work and have to drive another hour back home. This means I will get back at 1am and then have to be up 6am for the following Friday at work. So I booked the Friday off as holiday - which is annoying because I've been pushed into spending my holiday when I don't want to. Then things got even worse today when someone dropped out of the following week, so I'm doing both weeks now. Not only this, but the guy who drives everyone down in the people carrier broke his foot and I'm the most experienced driver out of everyone going down apparently, so they asked if I could do it. So basically that means I will work all day and then while everyone else gets to sleep or relax in the car on the way back, I'll be driving all the way back to the Midlands from London and then an hour back to my place. If something goes wrong - touchwood it doesn't of course - how is that going to look when I'm still on my three month probation? I think they've put me on the spot here and it's a tad unfair. I personally think it's taking the piss to ask me to do a show at all since I've only been there a month, but two shows AND chauffering everyone down to London is a complete farce. I also live further away than most who work there, so I'll be the last one home and the first one up in the morning to get in on time. Watch loads of war films that are based on true events in the run up to your hell week . You will feel a lot less like a pussy when you drive that long haul from london to brum in the dark . Deep down you will either enjoy or become a better person. Probably both . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P3te Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 So, I'm in a lot of trouble at work. Or at least I will be in the next few hours, tomorrow morning at the latest. Not entirely sure how I prepare myself for what's going to be the single worst bollocking I've ever had in my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 this sort of stuff is complete bull shit skills- I am highly motivated and work well on my own or in a team, I'm confident and enthusiastic, I have the ability to learn new skills and always work to a high standard blah blah **** blah give me the job and within 6 months I will prove to you that whilst yes I am good at the job I am none of the things I have just mentioned, I'm leaving the rest of this until tomorrow morning because its **** annoying me now, I hate having to use office speak and all that sort of jargon shove my CV up your **** arse, shit it back out and then read it because that is all that it contains a **** load of shite and lies, I'm not highly motivated I want the job because it could potentially earn me more money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I wouldn't bother with your education personally. You're 28. I'd exaggerate your work stuff a little and send a really strong covering letter. You've already got your foot in the door from the sounds of it, now is more about not ballsing it up. Good luck fella. You need a change man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) So, I'm in a lot of trouble at work. Or at least I will be in the next few hours, tomorrow morning at the latest. Not entirely sure how I prepare myself for what's going to be the single worst bollocking I've ever had in my life My gaffa tried to tell me I was in trouble at work just the other day because I was feeling like shit and point blank refused to go to a pointless meeting in London yesterday, apparently I should have been grateful of the opportunity to meet the engineers and that my big big manager would be extremely pissed off if I didn't go because the company paid £150 for the train tickets, I told them that I couldn't really give a **** if the tickets were £1500 I still wouldn't be going because I couldn't give a **** about meeting the arseholes that were going to be in there and the thought of traveling to London and back to sit in a room when I got there for an hour with a shit eating grin on my face didn't appeal to me at all. and then today I find myself applying for new jobs, who'd a thunk it Edited March 6, 2014 by leemond2008 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I wouldn't bother with your education personally. You're 28. I'd exaggerate your work stuff a little and send a really strong covering letter. You've already got your foot in the door from the sounds of it, now is more about not ballsing it up. Good luck fella. You need a change man. whats all this stuff about a cover letter? I don't remember CV's needing them before, is this some new stuff that they expect? what sort of stuff should I put on that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 So, I'm in a lot of trouble at work. Or at least I will be in the next few hours, tomorrow morning at the latest. Not entirely sure how I prepare myself for what's going to be the single worst bollocking I've ever had in my life I have had my fair share from birth til now . I guarantee that whatever you have done pales into insignificance with the passage of time . They can't make you pregnant at the end of the day . Don't let it get to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I wouldn't bother with your education personally. You're 28. I'd exaggerate your work stuff a little and send a really strong covering letter. You've already got your foot in the door from the sounds of it, now is more about not ballsing it up. Good luck fella. You need a change man. whats all this stuff about a cover letter? I don't remember CV's needing them before, is this some new stuff that they expect? what sort of stuff should I put on that? Dear Sirs, I've written up my CV, it's on the next page. Enjoy! Yours, Mr Mond2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I wouldn't bother with your education personally. You're 28. I'd exaggerate your work stuff a little and send a really strong covering letter. You've already got your foot in the door from the sounds of it, now is more about not ballsing it up. Good luck fella. You need a change man. whatsl this stuff about a cover letter? I don't remember CV's needing them before, is this some new stuff that they expect? what sort of stuff should I put on that? Cover letters are a neccessity these days .. An enclosed nude selfie and a sperm sample are the bare minimum these days . Get your head out of the HQ mate . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) I personally put all the personal statement into the cover letter. My CV is a single A4 page with my name, contact details, relevant job history and work experience, education, skills (again making them as relevant as possible, embellishing a little if you have to), hobbies and then a sentence saying that references are available on request. Then I do a cover letter that I adapt depending on the job. I start off by introducing myself, telling them where I saw the job advertised (not always necessary but doesn't take long), why I want the job and why this job is necessary for my long term goals and what said goals are. Then I go into more detail about the job, work experience or education that I've been doing recently (again, making it all sound relevant if I can) and then a bit about me and my hobbies before thanking them for their time and hoping to hear from them soon. My cover letter is a single A4 page too. If these things are too long then they won't get read anyway. If you're punchy and to the point and it's laid out nice and clearly then you're going to hold their attention for longer. Just imagine how many CVs and cover letters these guys have to read for one position. Make yours clear and concise and if you can make yourself stand out somehow with something that you've done that most others might not have that is relevant to the position, put it in. Tailor every cover letter to the position you're applying for, don't just send out a stock one for a bunch of different positions. Also, if the application has a contact name on it, use it. It proves that you pay attention. You just need to make sure everything in there applies to the position you're going for in some way. If it doesn't then just leave it out or twist it so that it is applicable. Oh, and even if it isn't quite true, make sure you have no gaps in your employment history. Edited March 6, 2014 by Ginko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I'm half tempted to attach a drawing of a 7 legged spider onto it as well, anyway what I have done so far has been saved and emailed to my work address ready for completion tomorrow. Just remembered that I have gotta take the bin bags out, then I'm going to try and get some sleep if I can drown out the **** infernal racket coming from next door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) I don't think there is anything more depressing than reading other people's life goals. Edited March 6, 2014 by CarewsEyebrowDesigner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 8pints Posted March 6, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 6, 2014 I don't think there is anything more depressing than reading other people's life goals. If there is, I'm sure you'll find it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted March 6, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted March 6, 2014 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P3te Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 So, I'm in a lot of trouble at work. Or at least I will be in the next few hours, tomorrow morning at the latest. Not entirely sure how I prepare myself for what's going to be the single worst bollocking I've ever had in my life I have had my fair share from birth til now . I guarantee that whatever you have done pales into insignificance with the passage of time . They can't make you pregnant at the end of the day . Don't let it get to you. This is true. However there could not have been a worse time for this to happen in terms of the company I work for. I could potentially have cost us the big contract that was keeping us afloat Now, it wasn't something done through malice or even gross negligence/incompetence, and I've essentially kept us afloat for 2 years in two continents, but that's unlikely to be at the forefront of the conversation It's all quite silly, too. I used the word "asshole" in the header if an article in a magazine which the company we produce it for have taken umbrage with, the one fecking time the company actually read the magazine. Any time other than now that would've been a laughed off thing, but they've only home and told us YESTERDAY that they were putting things on hold to reassess their finances, asking us to propose an alternative solution that costs less to them next week. Essentially, I've given them the perfect reason to walk away - and we can't afford to lose them. The boss hasn't seen the email yet, which basically said they're pulling the magazine from circulation because of it - and I assume they'll refuse to pay for it, leaving a $30k print bill that we can't afford to pay since our profit margins are quite low in this particular agreement. So yeah, as silly and all as it is, it's also pretty serious. I wouldn't mind, but contextually the use of the word was fine, and they're being offended over nothing. I could understand if it was something insanely stupid on my part. But it wasn't... It never even crossed my mind to use another word when proofing it, such was the innocence of its use Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) I don't think there is anything more depressing than reading other people's life goals. If there is, I'm sure you'll find it. Edited March 6, 2014 by Ginko 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I don't think there is anything more depressing than reading other people's life goals. If there is, I'm sure you'll find it. That's a rather pessimistic thing for CED to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I actually think CED is a bright individual who doesn't wholeheartedly believe half the thing he says . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 He is. It's all a facade, he's one of those people who thinks it's cool to pretend to be miserable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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