General Chat

[mjmooney]

Back on the English pronunciation theme...

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it’s written.)

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;

Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s OK When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice;

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won’t it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!!

The Poke

[maqroll]

Has anyone ever paid a cable guy cash on site to add extra channels?

[tonyh29]

Is it human nature to become more reactionary/right wing once you have a child?

you certainly become more angry with f**kwits you encounter in your day to day life that's for sure ... many a person has received a verbal volley from me if they have done anything I've considered a threat / annoyance to my children .. where as pre kids I'd probably have muttered quietly under my breath and walked on

[rjw63]

Has anyone ever paid a cable guy cash on site to add extra channels?

[tonyh29]

Has anyone ever paid a cable guy cash on site to add extra channels?

can they actually do this ?

I had a Murdoch hacked ITV box years ago but i didn't think cable could be hacked for free channels by the installation guy ?

[leviramsey]

Digital, as far as I know can't be.

Back in the analog days though, when accessing the likes of HBO was just a question of the box being able to decrypt the channel...

[Ingram85]

'Six Degrees of Bacon'

Type an actors name into google, put 'bacon number' after it and hit search. Eg. Jean Reno bacon number.

If you hadn't guessed, its six degrees of seperation from everyone's favourite dancing, tremor hunting invisible man....Kevin Bacon.

No one has got more than five so far. Pointlessly addictive.

[Rodders]

i cant get anyone more than 2

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

brahim hadjadj has no bacon number.

i win.

[leviramsey]

Erdos-Bacon Number: the sum of one's Bacon and Erdos numbers.

Danica McKellar has an Erdos-Bacon Number of 6 (4 + 2) (as does Natalie Portman).

[Houlston]

So at the grand old age of 34 I have had a stroke, it happened two weeks ago and I think shock is the best word to describe it. Its difficult to type this as I have double vision and my head is spinning. I struggle to walk, just sort of hobble along like an old man and I feel like I could fall over at any time, stairs are a no go unless someone is with me. I have no feeling down half body where I cant feel hot, cold or pain. One of the lesser side effects yet possibly the most annoying is I now suffer with almost constant hiccups and its driving me mental.

I just wondered if anyone else on here has had one or knows of someone that has had one and what the recovery was like?

[Stevo985]

So at the grand old age of 34 I have had a stroke, it happened two weeks ago and I think shock is the best word to describe it. Its difficult to type this as I have double vision and my head is spinning. I struggle to walk, just sort of hobble along like an old man and I feel like I could fall over at any time, stairs are a no go unless someone is with me. I have no feeling down half body where I cant feel hot, cold or pain. One of the lesser side effects yet possibly the most annoying is I now suffer with almost constant hiccups and its driving me mental.

I just wondered if anyone else on here has had one or knows of someone that has had one and what the recovery was like?

Woah, really sorry to hear about your stroke. That must be really tough!

I don't know anyone really well who's had one, but my ex girlfriend's dad had one. He was quite bad (was in hospital for a while and couldn't speak for a few weeks).

He's made a full recovery and is pretty much back to normal now.

he has a new outlook on life, but apart from that he's fine.

I also know a guy who had a stroke when he was 22. He didn't realise he'd had it until he shut his arm in a taxi door and couldn't feel it so went to the docs.

Obviously it all depends on how serious it is. I'm no expert, but there's 2 people I knwo who have had strokes and made full recoveries.

Hopefully you'll do the same.

I can't be any more help than that but keep us updated. As always, VT is here for you!

Good luck with everything, pal.

[Eames]

So at the grand old age of 34 I have had a stroke, it happened two weeks ago and I think shock is the best word to describe it. Its difficult to type this as I have double vision and my head is spinning. I struggle to walk, just sort of hobble along like an old man and I feel like I could fall over at any time, stairs are a no go unless someone is with me. I have no feeling down half body where I cant feel hot, cold or pain. One of the lesser side effects yet possibly the most annoying is I now suffer with almost constant hiccups and its driving me mental.

I just wondered if anyone else on here has had one or knows of someone that has had one and what the recovery was like?

:shock: WTF?

Christ due.

All the best with your recovery......

[Houlston]

Cheers guys, I kind of do have a different outlook now, I realise that too much is taken for granted and that living for the now is important. A weird one is that all your materialistic things aren't important and yet I want them even more now!!! Also humanity, you realise that there are a lot of good people knocking around, I've had help from people I never thought would bother and I've had loads of visitors. Overall I'm fairly confident I'll recover but as I said the shock of it is hard to get over.

The type of stroke I have had isnt very common and mainly happens to young active people. Its called a Pica stroke, basically an artery in my neck has torn which then led to bleeding on my brain.

[BOF]

So at the grand old age of 34 I have had a stroke, it happened two weeks ago and I think shock is the best word to describe it. Its difficult to type this as I have double vision and my head is spinning. I struggle to walk, just sort of hobble along like an old man and I feel like I could fall over at any time, stairs are a no go unless someone is with me. I have no feeling down half body where I cant feel hot, cold or pain. One of the lesser side effects yet possibly the most annoying is I now suffer with almost constant hiccups and its driving me mental.

I just wondered if anyone else on here has had one or knows of someone that has had one and what the recovery was like?

Aw jeez, really sorry to hear that Houlston. Hopefully, given your age, you'll be able to quickly recover from it.

[mjmooney]

Cheers guys, I kind of do have a different outlook now, I realise that too much is taken for granted and that living for the now is important. A weird one is that all your materialistic things aren't important and yet I want them even more now!!! Also humanity, you realise that there are a lot of good people knocking around, I've had help from people I never thought would bother and I've had loads of visitors. Overall I'm fairly confident I'll recover but as I said the shock of it is hard to get over.

The type of stroke I have had isnt very common and mainly happens to young active people. Its called a Pica stroke, basically an artery in my neck has torn which then led to bleeding on my brain.

Does this mean the daily dose of aspirin from now on? Very effective, I believe.

Out of left field a bit, here's Samuel Johnson describing his stroke in 1783:

'On Monday, the 16th, I sat for my picture, and walked a considerable way with little inconvenience. In the afternoon and evening I felt myself light and easy, and began to plan schemes of life. Thus I went to bed, and in a short time waked and sat up, as has been long my custom, when I felt a confusion and indistinctness in my head, which lasted, I suppose, about half a minute. I was alarmed, and prayed God, that however he might afflict my body, he would spare my understanding. This prayer, that I might try the integrity of my faculties, I made in Latin verse. The lines were not very good, but I knew them not to be very good: I made them easily, and concluded myself to be unimpaired in my faculties.

'Soon after I perceived that I had suffered a paralytick stroke, and that my speech was taken from me. I had no pain, and so little dejection in this dreadful state, that I wondered at my own apathy, and considered that perhaps death itself, when it should come, would excite less horrour than seems now to attend it.

'In order to rouse the vocal organs, I took two drams. Wine has been celebrated for the production of eloquence. I put myself into violent motion, and I think repeated it; but all was vain. I then went to bed, and strange as it may seem, I think slept. When I saw light, it was time to contrive what I should do. Though God stopped my speech, he left me my hand; I enjoyed a mercy which was not granted to my dear friend Lawrence, who now perhaps overlooks me as I am writing, and rejoices that I have what he wanted. My first note was necessarily to my servant, who came in talking, and could not immediately comprehend why he should read what I put into his hands.

'I then wrote a card to Mr. Allen, that I might have a discreet friend at hand, to act as occasion should require. In penning this note, I had some difficulty; my hand, I knew not how nor why, made wrong letters. I then wrote to Dr. Taylor to come to me, and bring Dr. Heberden; and I sent to Dr. Brocklesby, who is my neighbour. My physicians are very friendly, and give me great hopes; but you may imagine my situation. I have so far recovered my vocal powers, as to repeat the Lord's Prayer with no very imperfect articulation. My memory, I hope, yet remains as it was; but such an attack produces solicitude for the safety of every faculty.'

Project Gutenberg

(He recovered BTW!)

Get well soon mate.

[Shillzz]

So at the grand old age of 34 I have had a stroke, it happened two weeks ago and I think shock is the best word to describe it. Its difficult to type this as I have double vision and my head is spinning. I struggle to walk, just sort of hobble along like an old man and I feel like I could fall over at any time, stairs are a no go unless someone is with me. I have no feeling down half body where I cant feel hot, cold or pain. One of the lesser side effects yet possibly the most annoying is I now suffer with almost constant hiccups and its driving me mental.

I just wondered if anyone else on here has had one or knows of someone that has had one and what the recovery was like?

That sounds horrible, I really do wish you all the best for your recovery.

[Jon]

On the plus side Houlston, your avatar now looks kind of apt! :winkold:

All the best for your recovery Sir.

[legov]

'Six Degrees of Bacon'

Type an actors name into google, put 'bacon number' after it and hit search. Eg. Jean Reno bacon number.

If you hadn't guessed, its six degrees of seperation from everyone's favourite dancing, tremor hunting invisible man....Kevin Bacon.

No one has got more than five so far. Pointlessly addictive.

It's seemingly impossible to get a number higher than 2.

[mjmooney]

'Six Degrees of Bacon'

Type an actors name into google, put 'bacon number' after it and hit search. Eg. Jean Reno bacon number.

If you hadn't guessed, its six degrees of seperation from everyone's favourite dancing, tremor hunting invisible man....Kevin Bacon.

No one has got more than five so far. Pointlessly addictive.

It's seemingly impossible to get a number higher than 2.

I can get quite a few threes, but no better so far.