Jump to content

James Milner - little known facts


Recommended Posts


James Milner built Rome in a day, then destroyed it to add a sense of competition - and challenged someone to re-build it quicker. His challenge was never beaten, and thus the phrase coined.

The lesser spotted Milner has also been spotted in the depths of every World Ocean, doing resistance training against pressure.

James Milner doesn't bench-press, instead he does cross-stitch which has the pop-eye affect on him.

Link to post
Share on other sites

During a match, players will only pass the ball to James Milner if they hear him shout "Ey Up!".

If he is unfairly tackled, he will shout "Gi' ovver!".

James Milner often reports he is "proper jiggered" at the end of a game, but is soon revived with Pie, peas and a pint o'Tetleys.

Link to post
Share on other sites

During the thriller against everton james milner reached a speed of 88 mph while running down the wing thus triggering the flux capaciter in his boots sending him crashing back in time to april 30 1945 where he ended up in a bunker in wor torn germany ....it was hitler so james with all his skill shimmid round old adolf with the ball and swiftly round house kicked him to the face instantly killing him ..the force of which sent him crashing back to the present in time to complete a pass that would lead to young scoring the winner ......James later deicated his man of the match performance to his great uncle BERT who fought WW2 but died tieing his shoe laces.....James celebrated the win with a hot cup of tea and a hobnob bicci

Link to post
Share on other sites

James milner sleeps in a tank in the fear that he may "go soft" if he uses a bed,

He also owns large shares in bully beef and spam and uses the jelly from pork pies in his hair when he runs out of brylcreem.

The studs on his boots are frozen german finger tips.

Link to post
Share on other sites

James Milner owns the publishing rights to every song Elton John has ever recorded.

He used to own the rights to all of The Goodies' hits but gave them away to his five hundred and forty ninth favourite charity, The Jim Bowen Northern Comics' Trust.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of use Terms of Use, Cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

Â