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James Milner - little known facts


Sit_Down_Potato_Head

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James Milner is the Lindbergh baby. Born into luxury and fame, James turned his nose up at the lavish lifestyle of his parents and at the age of 20 months put his favorite flat hat snuggly on his head packed his possessions into a pillow case which he slung over his shoulder attached to a stick and treked deep into the amazon rainforrest where he destroyed a tribe of cannibals before digging the worlds deepest amber mine, just for the hell of it.

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James Milner is the Lindbergh baby. Born into luxury and fame, James turned his nose up at the lavish lifestyle of his parents and at the age of 20 months put his favorite flat hat snuggly on his head packed his possessions into a pillow case which he slung over his shoulder attached to a stick and treked deep into the amazon rainforrest where he destroyed a tribe of cannibals before digging the worlds deepest amber mine, just for the hell of it.

Hahahahahahaha

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in the film Close Encounters of the Third Kind there are dead sheep and cows scattered across the countryside, due to animal rights issues they were actually all trained to play dead by James Milner

James's only payment was a large rock sculpted out of mashed potato

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The longest boxing match ever fought took place in New Orleans on Apr. 6, 1893. The match was between Andy Bowen and Jack Burke, both of whom claimed the lightweight title after the reigning champ, Jack McAuliffe, retired. When the bell sounded for the 111th round, more than seven hours into the fight, both fighters, dazed and weary, gave up and did not come out of their corners.

Meanwhile over a thousand miles north on ice covered Ellesmere Island Canada James Milner was busy fighting the Eskimo King Unnavasalet and his pack of man eating polar bears. Had this blood bath been organised as a boxing match it would have been recorded for the history books as being 23 hours long. That's 460 rounds. Milner won with ease having defeated the king and his tribe while smacking around every polar bear in the region. Since then Milner has been worshiped as a god by both Eskimo and polar bear alike.

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When someone says 'I can't remember it ever being this wet/cold/hot/dry... it's because James Milner has wiped their memory and replaced it with the mental image of a jack in the box holding a postcard from Portugal.

Ask him why and he'll just shake his head and go back to his allotment. The mystery continues.

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