Mental Health - Supporter Help

[JAMAICAN-VILLAN]

 

Mods/Fans I wasn't sure where to put this, but I saw this devastating story on a Villa Facebook page, and wanted more Villans to see it. Please move to appropriate area. ( Explanation in quote at bottom )

I'm hoping there is some way we could help here.:

Quote

Hope this post is allowed adminWith a heavy heart I want to let all of you know that on 16th of August I lost my partner in crime down the villa and everywhere else we went, my beautiful eldest daughter Amber-Rose Heath to suicide after a lengthy battle with bad mental health and depression.

This picture is at the last game we went to everton at home, we won 2-0 (our first home win back in prem) which if you were there was an amazing night.

I suffer with bad mental health myself and this is a really tough time for me and my family but I just want as many people to know to reach out for help if you get desperate….please dont pass your pain on to the ones you leave behind. Call your GP, mental health teams, the samaritans, call anyone, talk to someone……

 

My Amber was there one minute and gone the next at the age of 25. Im absolutely devestated and heartbroken to say the very least. If this post helps just 1 person to talk or stop them from taking their life it has done some good.

Im trying to get 6 tickets seated together in the holte end (doesnt matter if not possible) for the Everton game 18th september for me and my family(will pay obviously) but am having trouble getting 6 together as i havnt renewed my claret membership and dont think i can buy 6 on it anyway. I really want to go to this game for her as it was the last fixture we went to together and Ambers funeral is 2 days after on monday 20th.

 

If anyone can help me or have any ideas how i can sort this out it would be so much appreciated. Ambers now a Holte ender in the sky now, she was one of us. Im going to miss her so much. UTV. VTID. HEITS — feeling heartbroken.

 

 

Edited September 2, 2021 by JAMAICAN-VILLAN

[Big Salad]

That's absolutely heartbreaking for this family and really puts things into perspective. Thanks for making us aware of it @JAMAICAN-VILLAN

I obviously can't help with any tickets but more than welcome to donate towards any funeral costs this family may have and just whatever else they may need. To lose a child has to be one of the worst things ever.

If anyway I can help this family I will.

We are all Claret & Blue.

[Woody1000]

It’s truly devastating. Perhaps try Tyrone Mings through Twitter? I don’t know what he could do about 6 seats together, but he wouldn’t ignore it especially under the circumstances.

[JAMAICAN-VILLAN]

I contacted Dan Bardell, and he has passed it on to someone at the club.

So here's hoping he gets some help!

I was pleasantly surprised he even answered my message!

[Woody1000]

Just now, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

I contacted Dan Bardell, and he has passed it on to someone at the club.

So here's hoping he gets some help!

I was pleasantly surprised he even answered my message!

That’s good news mate. Fingers crossed for them!

[RichiBoi11]

4 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

I contacted Dan Bardell, and he has passed it on to someone at the club.

So here's hoping he gets some help!

I was pleasantly surprised he even answered my message!

I was literally about to say tweet Bardell, Ian Taylor etc and see if the club can do anything. He's a good guy, despite the stick he gets from some fans.

Edited September 2, 2021 by RichiBoi11

[Vive_La_Villa]

This is so sad to hear. Anyone ever feel that way please get help. 

[JAMAICAN-VILLAN]

UPDATE: The club have responded, and are trying to sort a box out for them!

Have to give a huge shout out to Dan Bardell for pushing this forward.

Also obviously, got to love this club!

 

Edited September 2, 2021 by JAMAICAN-VILLAN

[Vive_La_Villa]

7 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

UPDATE: The club have responded, and are trying to sort a box out for them!

Have to give a huge shout out to Dan Bardell for pushing this forward.

Also obviously, got to love this club!

 

Fair play to you as well mate for getting in touch with Dan Bardell. Nice one. 

[ferguson1]

6 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

UPDATE: The club have responded, and are trying to sort a box out for them!

Have to give a huge shout out to Dan Bardell for pushing this forward.

Also obviously, got to love this club!

 

Great to hear this. It’s nice to know in times of need that help, support and kindness is there. 

[avfc1982am]

12 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

UPDATE: The club have responded, and are trying to sort a box out for them!

Have to give a huge shout out to Dan Bardell for pushing this forward.

Also obviously, got to love this club!

 

Truly wonderful thing you and Bardell have done. Well done fella.

[The Moustache of Teale]

22 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

UPDATE: The club have responded, and are trying to sort a box out for them!

Have to give a huge shout out to Dan Bardell for pushing this forward.

Also obviously, got to love this club!

 

Take a bow son. Superb work

[VillaChris]

58 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

UPDATE: The club have responded, and are trying to sort a box out for them!

Have to give a huge shout out to Dan Bardell for pushing this forward.

Also obviously, got to love this club!

 

Good stuff from the club, box and perhaps meet some players and Dean afterwards if allowed is logical solution here.

Awful when a person can't face this world anymore especially given what everyone has been through last 18 months. I thought when I saw the pic of them together it looked like the Everton game which was one of the great atmospheres in recent times.

 

[thabucks]

RIP HEITS Deepest condolences and sympathies to the family , my heart and prayers - as with the whole Villa Family’s go out to them… Would it be wrong to suggest on 25mins during the game the crowd clap??? 
 

I would like to share as an on off sufferer of mental health issues all my known life a small insight into the pains & anxieties and also my saviour in the hope it can help a lost soul  … I’ve not been close to the precipice (yet)  but have anxieties one day I may ( stats etc ) … Starting with anxieties. VT is a kinda a therapy place for me but it  took me years to have the courage to post in here as I was anxious that no one would want to hear what I had to say and  i wasn’t significant enough to voice an opinion… 

The mind can be a terrible place to be trapped in as there is no escaping it. The bi-polar nature from DD/WW/MM/YY of emotions are overwhelming & draining and chips away at you and strips you away a bit at a time.  you have good periods when life is Tickety Boo and your surfing the  crest of the wave. But then the low hits out of nowhere, paralysing you… Mentally, emotionally, and robbing you your emotional intelligence. Effects you physically. It’s a very dark place to fall into. You just hope you come back from it and down fall all the way…as

Stephen Fry wrote a beautiful response to a letter from a lady who was suffering, and his response pretty much saved my life as it helped me understand an rationalise my and come to terms that this will haunt me all my life … https://lettersofnote.com/2009/10/08/it-will-be-sunny-one-day/

Quote

April 10, 2006

Dear Crystal,

I’m so sorry to hear that life is getting you down at the moment. Goodness knows, it can be so tough when nothing seems to fit and little seems to be fulfilling. I’m not sure there’s any specific advice I can give that will help bring life back its savour. Although they mean well, it’s sometimes quite galling to be reminded how much people love you when you don’t love yourself that much.

I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:

Here are some obvious things about the weather:

It’s real.
You can’t change it by wishing it away.
If it’s dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can’t alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.

BUT

It will be sunny one day.
It isn’t under one’s control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.

It really is the same with one’s moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness – these are as real as the weather – AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE’S CONTROL. Not one’s fault.

BUT

They will pass: they really will.

In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. “Today’s a crap day,” is a perfectly realistic approach. It’s all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. “Hey-ho, it’s raining inside: it isn’t my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage.”

I don’t know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life.

Very best wishes

(Signed)

Stephen Fry

I hope any Villa fan finds solace in his words if you are lost as they’ve saved me … 

Edited September 2, 2021 by thabucks

[DaveAV1]

Depression is a lot harder to deal with than a broken leg or one of the more well recognised diseases. Many people suffer in silence, we struggle to open up and don’t want to be seen as weak. Being depressed isn’t a weakness it’s a disease and a disease that’s tough to deal with and often goes along silently.

This place often becomes toxic and some of the vitriol that is regularly directed at hard working people, because a football team lost a game, is as shameful as it is dangerous. I’m sure people in high profile jobs generally develop a thick skin pretty quickly but they’re humans with feelings and shouldn’t have to put up with it. They also have families who perhaps aren’t as thick skinned as they are. I’m not saying there’s no room for banter or criticism but perhaps we should all just think a bit more before we speak and try to express ourselves without the need to assassinate someone’s character,  just because they got something wrong or have a different opinion. I know it’s a well worn phrase, but taking time to be kind needs to be something we perhaps all should try to do a little bit more every day. 

[NurembergVillan]

This is a terrible story to read.  I can't begin to imagine what that family must be going through.  Great work @JAMAICAN-VILLAN in doing something to help.

On that subject, I know not everyone visits the Off Topic section of VT, but we've got a thread in there specifically for discussing mental health. It's non-judgemental, and people can read, post, ask, answer, whatever they want.

We may not always agree with each other on VT, but we're still a big family, held together by Aston Villa.  If you want somewhere to talk, or just to read that others are feeling the way you are, this might be a good place to start - 

 

[est1874]

Supporter Liaison Lee Preece is brilliant on this kind of thing. In case the Dan Bardell thing doesn't bear fruit, contacting Lee directly should get it done.

RIP Amber-Rose. Awfully sad and tragic. 

HEITS

[DaveAV1]

14 minutes ago, thabucks said:

VT is a kinda a therapy place for me but it  took me years to have the courage to post in here as I was anxious that no one would want to hear what I had to say and  i wasn’t significant enough to voice an opinion… 

I’m glad you found the strength to post in here, I like your posts and agree with lots of what you say. Not that my endorsement is anything to get excited about. My ability to produce endless twaddle doesn’t seem to be decreasing as I get older. I agree that there is a certain therapeutic value to this place, unfortunately for my wife I tend to bang on in “real life” too, often about quite random subjects which she has little real interest in. Recently the topics have included, the offside rule, cricket particularly LBW and fishing.  Bloody hell I sound boring to myself now!

[hippo]

Terrible story. I can't begin to comprehend what a dark place a person must be in to take their own life. And also those left behind to pick up the pieces and question if they could have done more ........

Well done to the club for sorting tickets.

 

[stegzy]

So, so sad. Was struggling to even read this earlier on Facebook without breaking down. Can’t even begin to understand the pain they must be going through! I’ve had a couple of friends take their own lives in the last 2 years that I didn’t even know were depressed as they didn’t talk about feelings. I felt so shit about not seeing the signs as would have tried so hard to help them. The guilt of not realising made me take a course to read the signs and I now feel as though I’d be a lot better at spotting them. It only took 30 mins to an hour and was a real help. Think it may have been this one. If anyone is ever feeling down and wants to talk to a fellow villa fan I am always available (if PMs are possible on here).

https://www.zerosuicidealliance.com/

Edited September 2, 2021 by stegzy