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Big Salad

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Was informed shortly ago that my young nephew(10 years old) has been getting bullied at school and came home to my sister-n-law today in tears about it. I haven't gotten a chance to go by their house and see him yet, but intend to.

Just wanted to get yall's thoughts on bullying in general and why it seems, from my perspective at least, to be more prevalent in today's society than it used to be?.  I know social media has a lot to do with it especially how easy cyber bullying can be done, along with how if you don't have the newest clothes, etc you get poked fun at.

Any tips on how to mitigate bullying as it were in today's world? Any good advice or tips I can give my nephew to help deal with bullies? I was lucky when I was younger to not be bullied, but I saw it some and tried to intervene when I could.  I despise bullying and all that it entails.

Cheers all.

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9 hours ago, Big Salad said:

Was informed shortly ago that my young nephew(10 years old) has been getting bullied at school and came home to my sister-n-law today in tears about it. I haven't gotten a chance to go by their house and see him yet, but intend to.

Just wanted to get yall's thoughts on bullying in general and why it seems, from my perspective at least, to be more prevalent in today's society than it used to be?.  I know social media has a lot to do with it especially how easy cyber bullying can be done, along with how if you don't have the newest clothes, etc you get poked fun at.

Any tips on how to mitigate bullying as it were in today's world? Any good advice or tips I can give my nephew to help deal with bullies? I was lucky when I was younger to not be bullied, but I saw it some and tried to intervene when I could.  I despise bullying and all that it entails.

Cheers all.

Alone, I'm always in good company.

I think when you have strong character and are even the slightest bit personable, it becomes exponentially less likely that you will be bullied.

Unfortunately developing good character is like a fruit, it takes time. For the roots to take hold, then the plant to grow and give life to the fruit, and then, the fruit has to ripen.

How magic it is when the fruit is ready though. And that, is what I would encourage, focusing on developing themselves. And one day they will be ready to take on anything.

People come and go, how you live your life is forever, and therefore will outlive you, because it will have consequences for the people you have shared experiences with.

I was on the end of some seriously nasty and callous bullying growing up. The hardest thing is when you feel like you don't have anyone in your corner. Then you're alone to face it.

Edited by A'Villan
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My daughter was bullied when she was about 5, girls in gym class. This was pre social media and pre internet, thank fully. You want to protect your child and want to di right by them. The organiser of the gym class was the parent of the bully and she saw nothing wrong with it. You can’t kick a 5 year old girls arse so in the end we took my daughter out of Gymnastics. 
I have no answer really, encourage friendships with people that will be there for him. 

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10 hours ago, mjmooney said:

Absolutely hate it. My Dad, bless him, only ever gave me two Rules of Life: (1) Stick up for the underdog, and (2) Stand up to bullies. I always put it into practice. I was a very easygoing kid, but got physically bullied on three occasions when aged about 11/12. In each case I was pretty scared, but gave the perpetrator a good smacking. They were always shocked, because they didn't expect it. But in each case, it worked - they didn't bother me again. 

In this day and age though, it's more likely to involve knives than just fists, so I'm not sure what I'd advise a kid. And the cyberbullying thing is a whole other can of worms. 

Love this. My Dad's the same. He can be the underdog that stands up to bullies at times. He doesn't give a flying f***. If someone's upset him, or their behaviour towards someone else offends him, he'll have at it. No wonder he's said to me that many times, "in life, you need to have a bit of mongrel in you". 

There was even a few times I had police looking for me when I was a youth, and to my surprise and even amazement, Dad ran the risk of getting himself on the wrong side of it on both occasions. Once, he wouldn't let them in the house, even though the police had seen me come in, he was barking at them like a mastiff, the other occasion I've shared on here before, so I won't drain it, but it's the time I took Dad's car out as a 17 year old and it blew up, literally flames 3-4 metres in the air.

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Horrible situation. but there is hope. let the school know straight away. It won't be the first case they have dealt with.When it happened to my son they were great, so were the parents. They were mortified by what the son had been doing. xbox, was taken away for a month. It stopped

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I was kinda lucky to not really be bullied at any point, although I did have a couple of problems which I had a 6 year older brother to help out with :) 

I remember at high school there were a couple of "lower in the hierarchy than me" kids, who I used to try and be friends with, but on occasion I did antagonise them, mostly but just calling them a name I knew they didn't like to wind them up "Tiddly trousers" or "tiddly wipes" were a couple.  That was mean, but often I went to their houses and one of them was a budding radio presenter who did online radio shows which I terribly joined in on occasion.  He had about 200 regular listeners which I think is about the same as Chris Moyles in his heyday.  

I often found the kids who weren't "cool" to have more interesting hobbies than the "cool" kids who just used to play football (which I loved doing) and try and get girls to get their tits out and smoking and trying to be cool, which seemed hard work.  

My advice is to try and find groups of people who share the same interests, with the internet what it is, it's quite easy to people who share interests with like-minded others, for example I met a load of nice guys on this thins called Q-anon - lovely, wholesome people who like things like "ma rights" and "they tuk our jerbs".

I used to be friends with a kid who liked making fish ponds in peoples gardens, he owns a company doing bespoke installations now for large companies and the work he does is amazing.

It's good to be different, who wants to be the same as everyone else? 

Boring.  

That's how Soccer AM and football twitter just becomes a circle jerk of "bantz", "cry more" memes and that's the most recycled and boring shit in the world.

Give me Vic and Bob's frame of mind any day. 

Avoid social media where possible, kids are assholes and not much good can come from it.  Ignore those doing the bullying - if it gets physical, go through the correct channels, if it keeps happening, get the police involved I guess.

Sorry it's happening to your niece though, bullying is terrible for the person affected.

Edited by lapal_fan
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1 hour ago, Stevo985 said:

Bullying is everywhere because kids are words removed

An I don't think it's more prevalent these days, you just hear about it more. I'd wager it's actually less prevalent than it was in the past

Why do you think this is? Parenting education? Or just this is how society is becoming?

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4 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

Why do you think this is? Parenting education? Or just this is how society is becoming?

Why do I think it's becoming less prevalent?

Awareness from teachers and parents I would imagine. 

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Just now, Stevo985 said:

Why do I think it's becoming less prevalent?

Awareness from teachers and parents I would imagine. 

I fundamentally disagree I’m afraid.

I think bullying is far more prevalent now than ever and that is largely because of social media. In our day bullying happened in or around school now it follows kids into their homes.

I agree with you that awareness and willingness to act has improved but I strongly disagree with your assessment on prevalence. 

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@Big Salad I’d say your nephew has done the first thing by bringing it up rather than keeping it to himself.

I think dealing with it can depend on whether the parents of the bully are known by the parents of the victim. If there’s an existing dialogue then I’d imagine sorting it out would be easier. If not, having a discreet word with a teacher/head teacher at school would be my thinking. 

What I’d like to think would happen is the teacher keep an eye on the bully, waiting until the bully targeted the victim again and then pull them up on it, really make an example of them. Hopefully that way it would appear that they’ve been caught in the act rather than being dobbed in. But then I’m not a teacher so that probably isn’t standard practice.

In my experience bully gobshites go straight back in their box when someone stands up to them, but of course that’s not true for all. 

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Cheers for the replies all. I just talked to him for a little bit before her got on the bus for school.  I got from him that the person bullying him is in a couple grades higher and he is not the only one that this kid bullies.  I asked him bluntly if this kid has pushed him or anything similar and he said so far it has only been name calling and laughing at him so thankful for that. However, I do realize it can eventually get to the physical aspect if this doesn't get taken care of ASAP.

I told him that if it happens again go straight to the principal to report it.  I feel somewhat confident that he will do this, but we shall see.  Lastly, his mom has banned him from using any Facebook for awhile(Granted at ten years old should not really have it to begin with but that's another story).

He is a good kid and would give you the shirt off his back, hopefully he doesn't let them affect him in the short and long term.

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Oh and in terms of beating the bullies I know there are lots of more PC solutions but honestly, the best way to beat a bully is stand up to them and usually that means physically. I highly recommend Judo to any kid being bullied it will really boost their self confidence and ability if needed to defend themselves, it is perfect in that sense as its about using the the aggression of others and their movement against them.

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5 minutes ago, Mark Albrighton said:

@Big Salad I’d say your nephew has done the first thing by bringing it up rather than keeping it to himself.

I think dealing with it can depend on whether the parents of the bully are known by the parents of the victim. If there’s an existing dialogue then I’d imagine sorting it out would be easier. If not, having a discreet word with a teacher/head teacher at school would be my thinking. 

What I’d like to think would happen is the teacher keep an eye on the bully, waiting until the bully targeted the victim again and then pull them up on it, really make an example of them. Hopefully that way it would appear that they’ve been caught in the act rather than being dobbed in. But then I’m not a teacher so that probably isn’t standard practice.

In my experience bully gobshites go straight back in their box when someone stands up to them, but of course that’s not true for all. 

Cheers pal. As I posted just before reading this, my nephew says he is not the only one this kid is bullying, so hopefully other kids say something or the administration takes notice and handles it quickly and prudently.  As far as if my nephew and his mom knows this kid's parents not sure but good point indeed if they do would be easier to get to the bottom of things.

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18 minutes ago, TrentVilla said:

I fundamentally disagree I’m afraid.

I think bullying is far more prevalent now than ever and that is largely because of social media. In our day bullying happened in or around school now it follows kids into their homes.

I agree with you that awareness and willingness to act has improved but I strongly disagree with your assessment on prevalence. 

I agree that social media is toxic as **** and I'd happily see it disappear forever

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