PussEKatt Posted November 22, 2021 Share Posted November 22, 2021 2 hours ago, rjw63 said: That happened to me but luckily it was a woman doing the offering That reminds me of a dream I had a while ago. I went to the movies with a friend of mine ( Bob ) and he went out at half time to get us a couple of ice creams.While he was gone this beautiful blond came and sat in his seat.I said,you cant sit there,my friend is sitting there.She said,Ill be your friend.I said no, he is my best friend.She put my hand down the front of her nickers and said,thats your best friend,isnt it.I replied,no my friend is a bigger word removed than that. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoelVilla Posted November 22, 2021 Share Posted November 22, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted November 25, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 25, 2021 (edited) Mates and I were talking about our first Loves and how we broke up I used to go out with a beautiful blonde girl, she really was a looker, she was charismatic, she liked a good laugh and to top it all she was a Villa supporter. I used to walk her home every night but she never offered me to come in. Then one Friday night she did, she invited me in. Straight away I saw piled up magazines, pamphlets and comics. Piled to the ceiling in every room with just a little path to walk between them. I dumped her the next day I did love her but she had far too many issues Edited November 25, 2021 by Robtaylor200 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Robtaylor200 Posted November 26, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 26, 2021 I dumped another girl friend because she was always counting out loud I often wonder what she's up to . 4 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted November 26, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted November 26, 2021 I walked passed the YMCA today, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers... I said, "Young man, there's no need to feel down..." 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 26, 2021 Share Posted November 26, 2021 3 hours ago, mjmooney said: I walked passed the YMCA today, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers... I said, "Young man, there's no need to feel down..." Past 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 27, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted November 27, 2021 11 hours ago, rjw63 said: Past Couldn't be arsed to fix it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 27, 2021 Share Posted November 27, 2021 36 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Couldn't be arsed to fix it. Dizzgraicefell 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 27, 2021 Share Posted November 27, 2021 I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe". She said "Is that because I'm small and cute?" I replied "No because with a bit of luck I'll end up banging you on the coffee table". 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted December 2, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 2, 2021 - Yoda, are you sure we are heading in the right direction? - Off course we are! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted December 2, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted December 2, 2021 Nice offer on Amazon - if you buy all Adam & The Ants sheet music, they'll throw in a stand. And deliver. 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post leemond2008 Posted December 3, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 3, 2021 Paddy tells his wife "my bumhole is really burning, I've no idea what it is?" "Ring sting" his wife says Paddy replies "How the **** will he know" 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeVillan Posted December 3, 2021 Share Posted December 3, 2021 27 minutes ago, leemond2008 said: Paddy tells his wife "my bumhole is really burning, I've no idea what it is?" "Ring sting" his wife says Paddy replies "How the **** will he know" This reminds me, anyone ever listen to Bob Mortimer's Peter Beardsley impression on the athletico mince podcast? Bloody hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted December 3, 2021 Share Posted December 3, 2021 44 minutes ago, TreeVillan said: This reminds me, anyone ever listen to Bob Mortimer's Peter Beardsley impression on the athletico mince podcast? Bloody hilarious "I was eatin' mah chicken wrap in mah puffa puffa jacket, havin a reet good stare" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted December 5, 2021 Share Posted December 5, 2021 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 A couple of years ago, I was staying at a tiny Spanish hotel when I started to feel ill. Needing a doctor, I rang reception who said they'd get the hotel doctor to visit. I was rather surprised that such a small hotel would have a house doctor, and was just telling the hotel manager this when my room door burst open and in leapt a man yelling "Nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician" 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 I brought my grandmother to one of those fish spa days where the little fish eat your dead skin, only cost £45. Was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 While doing my supermarket shopping this morning, I saw a guy buy ten 6-packs of San Miguel, 20 Paella ready meals, 10 boxes of Tacos and 3 Sombreros. I said to myself, Hispanic buying. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xann Posted December 12, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted December 12, 2021 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted December 16, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted December 16, 2021 Why does Mrs Claus keep checking Santa's phone? He knows where all the naughty girls live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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