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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude

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2 hours ago, rjw63 said:

That happened to me but luckily it was a woman doing the offering

That reminds me of a dream I had a while ago.

I went to the movies with a friend of mine ( Bob ) and he went out at half time to get us a couple of ice creams.While he was gone this beautiful blond came and sat in his seat.I said,you cant sit there,my friend is sitting there.She said,Ill be your friend.I said no, he is my best friend.She put my hand down the front of her nickers and said,thats your best friend,isnt it.I replied,no my friend is a bigger word removed than that.  

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3 hours ago, mjmooney said:

I walked passed the YMCA today, and there was a teenage boy sat outside stroking some feathers...
I said, "Young man, there's no need to feel down..." 

Past 😉

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I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said "You remind me of my little toe".

She said "Is that because I'm small and cute?"

I replied "No because with a bit of luck I'll end up banging you on the coffee table".

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27 minutes ago, leemond2008 said:

Paddy tells his wife "my bumhole is really burning, I've no idea what it is?"

"Ring sting" his wife says

Paddy replies "How the **** will he know"

This reminds me, anyone ever listen to Bob Mortimer's Peter Beardsley impression on the athletico mince podcast? Bloody hilarious

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44 minutes ago, TreeVillan said:

This reminds me, anyone ever listen to Bob Mortimer's Peter Beardsley impression on the athletico mince podcast? Bloody hilarious

"I was eatin' mah chicken wrap in mah puffa puffa jacket, havin a reet good stare"

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A couple of years ago, I was staying at a tiny Spanish hotel when I started to feel ill.

Needing a doctor, I rang reception who said they'd get the hotel doctor to visit.

I was rather surprised that such a small hotel would have a house doctor, and was just telling the hotel manager this when my room door burst open and in leapt a man yelling "Nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician"

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I brought my grandmother to one of those fish spa days where the little fish eat your dead skin, only cost £45.

Was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

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While doing my supermarket shopping this morning, I saw a guy buy ten 6-packs of San Miguel, 20 Paella ready meals, 10 boxes of Tacos and 3 Sombreros.

I said to myself, Hispanic buying.

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