sidcow Posted October 19, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted October 19, 2021 19 minutes ago, Straggler said: Elephant? Nellie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 18 hours ago, sidcow said: What's the opposite of girl ant? Bouyant 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 I'm going to rob a bank tomorrow, dressing as a clown, wearing a thong and nipple tassels. I'll be carrying a goat, with a dildo up my arse, and a tin of Dulux. In the bank the goat's gonna suck me off, and I'll throw the paint over the walls whilst shouting the words "Big fat piss flaps." Once I get the cash, I'm gonna shit on the floor and escape in a van shaped like a big pink cock. Have fun making a reconstruction of that, Crimewatch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said "What's your favourite time of year?" He replied: "Have to love Easter, baby" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rds1983 Posted October 23, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted October 23, 2021 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: I'm going to... dress as a clown, wearing a thong and nipple tassels. I'll be carrying a goat, with a dildo up my arse, and a tin of Dulux. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 After a lot of careful thought my wife and I have decided that we don't want children. They are going to be very upset when we tell them. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theboyangel Posted October 23, 2021 Share Posted October 23, 2021 4 hours ago, rjw63 said: I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said "What's your favourite time of year?" He replied: "Have to love Easter, baby" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted October 24, 2021 Share Posted October 24, 2021 My wife bought me a box of "Round Tuits" Now I can do all those jobs I have been putting off,till I get around to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted October 24, 2021 Share Posted October 24, 2021 The last two pages of this topic...deary me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Salad Posted October 24, 2021 Share Posted October 24, 2021 A Tibetan monk was making his morning toast when he saw, in the margarine, the face of Jesus. He gasped and said, "I can't believe it's not Buddha". 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted October 25, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted October 25, 2021 20 hours ago, PussEKatt said: My wife bought me a box of "Round Tuits" Now I can do all those jobs I have been putting off,till I get around to it. I think you've butchered this 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MCU Posted October 29, 2021 Share Posted October 29, 2021 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted October 29, 2021 Share Posted October 29, 2021 Very happy today, sold my homing pigeon for the 20th time on ebay 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted October 30, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted October 30, 2021 9 hours ago, colhint said: Very happy today, sold my homing pigeon for the 20th time on ebay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Zen Posted October 30, 2021 Share Posted October 30, 2021 9 hours ago, colhint said: Very happy today, sold my homing pigeon for the 20th time on ebay In other news, I’m having a tough time getting rid of my boomerang. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mandy Lifeboats Posted November 7, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 7, 2021 How many people who cannot resist correcting someone does it take to change a lightbulb? To. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted November 8, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted November 8, 2021 Why do mice have such small balls? Because not very many of them can dance. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Salad Posted November 9, 2021 Share Posted November 9, 2021 My grief counselor died yesterday. But luckily for me she was so good at her job that I don't give a ****. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Genie Posted November 9, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 9, 2021 Whilst at hospital I asked the nurse if I could do my own stitches. She said suture self. 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 9, 2021 Share Posted November 9, 2021 My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was the end of my Korea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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