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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude
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2 hours ago, Big Salad said:

Went for an interview at a Blacksmith's today

Blacksmith: 'You any good at shoeing horses?'

Me: 'No, but I once told a donkey to **** off'

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On 26/07/2021 at 05:45, Big Salad said:

I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn.

It doesn't cure it,but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

If you find it's keeping the sheets off you for more than 4 hours, you should seek medical advice.

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17 hours ago, StanBalaban said:

If you find it's keeping the sheets off you for more than 4 hours, you should seek medical advice.

If he's lying down and has a perpendicular erection he should probably get his scrotum loosened as well.

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6 minutes ago, BOF said:

If he's lying down and has a perpendicular erection he should probably get his scrotum loosened as well.

I shudder to think what my GP's reaction would be if I asked for a 'scrotum loosening'. 

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Bloke checks into a hotel. He phones reception and says "Hi, this is room 26. Can I have a wake-up call please?"

Desk clerk: "Certainly Sir. You're in your mid-30s, single, live with your mother, and you've achieved nothing in life."

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  • 2 weeks later...

Trying to tell a Joke to thick sod at work, not sure what is funniest. Goes like this 

Alright William ?, yes thankyou Rob did you have a good weekend ?

Actually I went up Telford town center. There was a couple of lads busking, playing ABBA songs really loud, so loud I could hear the drums from Nando's

Where's that then  

 

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3 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said:

Trying to tell a Joke to thick sod at work, not sure what is funniest. Goes like this 

Alright William ?, yes thankyou Rob did you have a good weekend ?

Actually I went up Telford town center. There was a couple of lads busking, playing ABBA songs really loud, so loud I could hear the drums from Nando's

Where's that then  

 

Not sure many people under 30 would get that reference to be fair. The song is nearly 50 years old now. 

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3 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said:

Trying to tell a Joke to thick sod at work, not sure what is funniest. Goes like this 

Alright William ?, yes thankyou Rob did you have a good weekend ?

Actually I went up Telford town center. There was a couple of lads busking, playing ABBA songs really loud, so loud I could hear the drums from Nando's

Where's that then  

 

I have to confess, I wouldn't have got that if it was spoken, yes I obviously know the song but I'm not really a lyric person

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3 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said:

Trying to tell a Joke to thick sod at work, not sure what is funniest. Goes like this 

Alright William ?, yes thankyou Rob did you have a good weekend ?

Actually I went up Telford town center. There was a couple of lads busking, playing ABBA songs really loud, so loud I could hear the drums from Nando's

Where's that then  

 

last time I was in Telford town centre there was a man playing Dancing Queen on a didgeridoo. I thought, that’s abba-riginal.

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1 hour ago, bickster said:
5 hours ago, Robtaylor200 said:

Trying to tell a Joke to thick sod at work, not sure what is funniest. Goes like this 

Alright William ?, yes thankyou Rob did you have a good weekend ?

Actually I went up Telford town center. There was a couple of lads busking, playing ABBA songs really loud, so loud I could hear the drums from Nando's

Where's that then  

 

I have to confess, I wouldn't have got that if it was spoken, yes I obviously know the song but I'm not really a lyric person

I had a similar situation in town one day with a band playing a Queen song. I was a bit far away at the time and I could barely make them out because the weather was absolutely horrendous. Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening.

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8 minutes ago, BOF said:

I had a similar situation in town one day with a band playing a Queen song. I was a bit far away at the time and I could barely make them out because the weather was absolutely horrendous. Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening.

Another One Bites The Dust

51eeLN6SABL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

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Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, Big Salad said:

My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out.

I can't read a ****ing word now.

tenor.gif

 

 

Edited by sidcow
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