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JohnCresswell

WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.

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6 minutes ago, Robtaylor200 said:

Shame about my pet rat Elvis

got caught in a trap 

You went back 5 years to check if this has binnedunne...I'm impressed :)

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Q. Why did the old woman fall into a well? 

A. She couldn't see that well. 

 

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26 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

Q. Why did the old woman fall into a well? 

A. She couldn't see that well. 

 

I’ll let you off because it’s Christmas...

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1 hour ago, mjmooney said:

Q. Why did the old woman fall into a well? 

A. She couldn't see that well. 

 

Someone has pulled a cracker 😂

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The best cure for a persistent cough is to stop drinking milk. My elderly neighbour had a hacking cough for months but since he started leaving his milk on his doorstep a couple of weeks ago, it seems to have cleared up completely.

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Awesome news! Not only have I made the great Britain woodwork team they've asked me to be vice captain 

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Had my first gig as a stand-up comedian at an old people's home last night.

They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves.

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1 hour ago, rjw63 said:

So I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

But I bet the pawn cocktail was delicious.

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8 minutes ago, BOF said:

But I bet the pawn cocktail was delicious.

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1 minute ago, BOF said:

Was it a meal fit for a king?

Did I make a rook-ie error?

Hello *taps mic*.  Is this thing on ?

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My boy came home today and told me that he got the role in a play of a man who's been married for 25 years. 

I said, not to worry son you might get a speaking part next time. 

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